The Interview

The Interview

My heart beat was beating faster than normal, and beating faster and louder by the minute like the stompings of a pursuing T-Rex in the movie Jurassic Park. Heck, it was beating so hard at times that my heart felt like jumping out.

Dupp.. dapp.. dup.. dapp…

My state of mind was close to being chaotic. All the facts that I had cramped into my head in the previous week or so were a jumbled mess, and I realised that I was feeling even less confident about the ordeal I was about to go through at that moment then when I firsrt started preparing myself for it. Suddenly, I couldn’t even remember even the stuffs which were supposed to be simple, and belatedly realised that in my attempt to learn stuffs which I wasn’t so good at, I had neglected the stuffs that I do everyday, and as a result risk looking like an incompetent buff who’s been on the job for so long and still didn’t know thoroughly what’s required of me.


This wasn't in the job description!!

The above is the ordeal that I went through in anticipation of my job assessment interview on Tuesday morning.

The job interview, as I’ve mentioned before, is a job assessment process to evaluate whether or not I’m fit to do the job I’ve been doing as a senior executive for the last 5 years. I know it sounds funny. I would think I would have been kicked out of this place if I wasn’t able to do the job for even 3 months, let alone 5 years. But hey, it’s the company’s policy, and you either put up with it or leave, Dilbert-like though it may be.

Looking back in retrospect, I think the interview went quite ok. I wouldn’t say it was brilliant though. My answer to most of the interview questions were at best basic, and in some instances, needed further prompting from my interviewers. Have you ever had that feeling that you could probably have given a better answer, or phrased your answer better, just after you’ve answered a question? That happened to me a lot on Tuesday that by the time we got to the end of the session, I felt too immuned with such situation that I just stopped cringeing anymore whenever it happened again. It’s like developing an anti-body to bee stings after you’ve been stung too many times.

In my opinion, I find the questions to be a bit too technical to be relevant, especially in the context of day to day work. You can say it was quite heavy on the theory side. Questions like definitions of some terms in the accounting standards, and getting asked to elaborate on a few number of standards of my choice. On a day to day application at work however, you can count with the fingers in one hand people who could actually remember all the standards and accounting definitions by hard. Most people (me included) know the general basic characteristics of what is required, and if further references need to be made, then would we refer to the standards literatures available.

Oh well…

On the bright side, the sensation after such a nerve-wrecking experience is one of great relief. Situations like preparing yourself for an interview or exams are always nerve-wrecking, and the nerve dangling experience lies both in the anticipation and the event itself. And in some cases, the anticipation proves the worse of the two in terms of what it does to your composure. The result of the interview will be out in a month’s time, and at this moment at least, I’m just glad that I’m done and over with it.

Pray for me that I’ll make it will ya.

Be Nice To Everyone 'Coz You'll Never Know...

Be Nice To Everyone 'Coz You'll Never Know...

I'm away from the office attending a course today and tomorrow. It is nice to be away from the office once in a while, even though for a simple mandatory course that you have to attend as required by the job. Sort of breaks the monotony of the day to day routine. And anything that breaks the monotony usually has the effect of giving you a kick-start into reality once again, reminding you there is more to life than your 9-5 job and the lunches at Asian Flavours or Signatures. And while we're on the subject of lunches, there is always something to look forward to when it comes to food when you're attending training or courses.

The training I'm attending this next 2 days is an internal training provided by the company I work for, and the norm with internal training is that the trainers are usually senior staffs of the company who volunteers (or rather forced to volunteer really. Like they have the choice anyway... ) to become line trainers. To my surprise, I found out today that the person who provides our training is an acquaintance of mine whom I used to know back when I was in the UK. And he's not any older than I am. I gathered from him over lunch just now that he's now a senior manager in one of the subsidiaries of our company. And to think of I'm still in the midst of an assessment process whether or not I qualify to be doing a senior executive job.

So it was a bit weird having to sit back and listen like a good trainee when I used to not think much of him in the past. You see, we used to have our differences and to cut a long story short, I once did something enough to ruffle his feathers by a bit. He's the typical high energy go-getter whom usually gets on people's nerves, and steps on quite a few of people's feet. Professionally however, I have the utmost respect for him. And putting the baket of sour grapes aside, you can't help but admire someone like him who's gone that far in his career in an environment where such occurences is not the norm for someone his age. On that respect bro, I take my hat off to you.

I don't think he keeps a grudge of what happened between us in the past. He's not really asked me the difficult to impossible questions in class. Well, at least not yet...

An Experience To Remember

An Experience To Remember

My wife and I have been attending ante-natal classes at the Damansara Specialist Hospital for the last 3 weeks. I have to say, the contents of the classes have been very useful, especially for first-born expectants like my wife and me. So far, we’ve learnt of what to expect during pregnancy (though this might come as a bit too late for us, considering my wife is now pretty close to the expected date of delivery), the right diet for the mother-to-be (this one too), arrangements that we should make when the baby is due, suitable physical and breathing exercises for the mother-to-be, and massage techniques for the husband to administer on wifey.

Last night’s lesson however, was arguably the most interesting todate.

We were given a show of the signs to look out for when labour is due. Signs like contractions, and the break of the water bag, and so forth. We were also shown a video of the stages of labour, from the moment the wife’s admitted to the hospital, to the moment when the baby is delivered and then subsequently the removal of the placenta. There are in fact 3 stages of labour. It begins with contractions, which will take place every 10-15 minutes, and the cervix will open up to 3cm. At this stage, the opening of the cervix will be at 1cm in every 1 hour. This is also when the water bag will burst.

The 2nd stage of labour is when the cervix will open up to 10cm. Contractions now become more regular at every 4-5 minutes. This is the stage when the baby will be delivered, and the mother would have to push as advised by the doctor. There’s a wide misconception that labour ends with the delivery of the baby when in fact it doesn’t. This stage is arguably the most excruciating one. Mothers-to-be are advised to try and relax at this stage and try to take their minds off the pain by trying to focus an imaginary target where they would focus their pushing. Some doctors even suggest reciting of prayers or poetry, or even focus on their husbands who would be standing by their side.

The 3rd stage takes place after the baby is safely delivered, and it’s when the placenta is removed, and the mid-wife claims “when the father no longer focuses his attention to the mother”. Tsskk…. So daddies to be out there, remember that all is not over yet after the baby’s out. The mother still needs your support emotionally and physically to push the placenta out. I shall take a mental note of that too come the day.

In short, my wife summarises the stages with the following:

1st stage: longer but less painful
2nd stage: shorter, but in terrible pain
3rd stage: shortest

Hehe...

The video show was a very useful visual exercise of what we should expect when the real moment of labour comes. It was also helpful in playing down the fears of some of us, who would be experiencing this miracle moment of child birth only for the first time. I’ve learnt to appreciate what all mothers would have to go through in bringing a life into this world. And that is not to mention the 9 months of sacrifice and discomfort that they would have to go through prior to that ultimate moment. And to think of, all we men had to do in contribution is making a small deposit on one night and just wait for the delivery after 9 months. We men do have the easy way out in the whole subject of procreation.

We were then took for a tour around the hospital to the labour and maternity wards. It felt like a privilege experience to be allowed into the labour ward. The place is closed to the general visitors to the hospital, and is only opened to women in the 3rd stage of labour and her next of kin, usually the husband. We were shown the room where the child birth process will take place.

This is when I made one of the most memorable volunteer of my life.

The mid-wife was showing us the arrangement of the labour ward on the day of labour, and we were having a simulation exercise of where everyone would be in the room on the big day. Understandably of course, I was keen to know where the father would be standing in the middle of all the excitement that day. So instinctively when the mid-wife asked who would like to volunteer, I said “I’ll do it” without even giving it a second thought.

The stunned reaction from the mid-wife to my spontaneous volunteer should have given me a hint of what was to come. I simply thought I was volunteering to stand where the husband would be standing on the day of labour, where I would be lending my hand and support to my wife. Instead I had volunteered to be ‘my wife’, and simulate the whole posture of being in labour. I was asked to lie down on the bed, spread my legs wide, and hold on to the railings in a comfortable position to push, and then simulated how the pushing is done.

I felt like the Ultimate Exhibit in front of the 10-odd couples who were there. I couldn’t quite see where my wife was as she was looking away, quite unable to control her laughter at my ordeal. I’m quite happy to say however I must have made quite a realistic exhibit, as I gave it my all when asked to push. Hehe… The bed was rather comfortable however, and at least I have had the first hand experience to tell my wife I’ve been there before. Hehe...

Wifey was still laughing heartily at the whole incident as we left the hospital last night. She said she might just be reminded of the whole thing again when she’s on the labour bed herself on the day of labour, and might just blurt out laughing again.

Well, hopefully I’d done enough to take some of her mind off the pain on that day with such a memory.

Light At The End Of A Short Tunnel

Light At The End Of A Short Tunnel

It's another Monday morning, and up to this point at least, I'm glad to say that I'm not feeling as much blues as I usually do on this day. The experience of last week when i felt mostly like a zombie throughout the whole week had made me to reflect on my perception of myself, work, and life in general. And among other things, I've realised that perhaps the reason why I felt so lousy and bored at work last week was because I was beginning to feel too big or too good for the work I'm doing now. Bruce Lee once said, empty your cup, and it shall be filled. And with respect to this metaphore, I must have been like an overflowing cup last week. I wasn't feeling the excitement of what I'm doing anymore.


Not today

To be fair to myself, I was feeling a bit burnt out as well. The drill of the accounts month end closing was pushing me to the edge, while at the same time, my colleague-from-hell never failed to drive me up the wall. I've reflected on my perception of her as well, and I felt perhaps I've been a bit harsh with the way I treated her. We had a blow-up two weeks ago, and in my frustration I said some things which I wish I hadn’t. She was very defensive mind you, and wasn’t willing to take any of my criticism without a fight. I think most people like her are like that. Granted, she has also successfully driven other people in the office up the wall too, and even my boss has begun to lash the whip a little bit when dealing with her. Again, I'm not saying that I will just live with her lackadaisical attitude, rather I'm not going to let it get to me as much. Life is too precious and too short to let some egg-headed person to mess with it.

The last couple of weeks have also seen my weight ballooning by quite a bit. I have to admit that when I'm going through a difficult time, I tend to resort to food. Sweet, greasy, and fatty food specifically. Perhaps it is my way of fulfilling myself when I don't feel as fulfilled with some other aspects of my life, serving like some sort of escapade for me. Some other people do it differently. Women are well known to resort to shopping , and I used to know a techy-nerd friend of mine who went on to buy himself a palm-cum-organiser when going through the same phase. Escapades such as these are meant to be temporary only. And in my case at least, it has been 4kgs too long. Yup, I've been the reincarnation of a hippo this last couple of weeks.

So today shall mark as yet another turning point for me. In fact, I believe that our lives are filled with turning points, only that some points are bigger and momentous than others. Momentous ones will be moments like graduating from university, grand achievements or recoveries that would shape your perception on a grand scale. Those happens rather far and few in between. But it is the smaller turning points like the revelation from my recent soul searching episode that usually sustains us on a more frequent basis, and reminds us to have our feet on the ground, when some distractions tend to get to our heads.

I am happy to say that my optimism is back. I feel once again ready to hold any bull by it's horns. Let's hope it's enough to help me shed a couple of kilos as well.

Has Anyone Found A Misplaced Soul?

Has Anyone Found A Misplaced Soul?

In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head,
In your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, dou, dou, dou, dou, dou...
- Zombie, Cranberries -

...because I feel like I have misplaced mine. For the last couple of weeks, I can’t help but feeling like a zombie, moving around not quite aimlessly, but without as much purpose and intent as I would like myself to be. I feel like I’ve been living this last couple of weeks with not so much drive and passion as I would normally be. And when I’ve lost the drive, my judgements tend to be poorer, and I tend to make more mistakes. I’m beginning to place less value on many things that I’m doing. I just feel like saying ‘f**k it’ to most things at the moment.

Been trying to analyse the situation. On the career front, work continues to be the serial-murderer it has always been. I have been doing accounts reconciliation work too much that I just feel like vomitting if I have to do it again. I have two more reports due by the 15th of this month. And to get myself to meet that deadlines is like trying to push a sleeping hippo to do it’s annual physical exercise. It feels like a task of gigantic proportion. How am I supposed to come up with reports when I don’t feel like doing them at the moment? I’m beginning to sense the creeping of a panic attack here. Help!

That looks so tempting...

I think I’m bored. Or maybe overworked. There are thousands of things I could think of doing rather than being in the office today. And top of my list would be to just lie down and sleep for as long as I want. To be in a place where no one will find me to ask about some reports or numbers that I’ve prepared for them. Where I won’t have to worry about job assessments. Where no one talks about work and deadlines. At the moment, even staring at a plain empty wall sounds attractive than being here.

I used to just eat more than I usually do whenever I feel this way. But after gaining almost 3 kilos in 2 weeks now, nothing else has improved apart from the weight. Dang… been stuffing on food suppossedly to have the chemicals to make you happy like chocolates and cakes of late. I’ve come to realise that’s probably not the right solution when my trousers suddenly became tighter than the belt I’m wearing.

Ok la.. let’s see if a cup of San Francisco’s Coffee mocha would do the trick. If that still doesn’t do it for me, maybe a long vacation is the answer. If only I have that many leaves left to take… boo hoo!

It's Raining Babies

It’s Raining Babies

It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Amen!
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Amen! OW!

- It's Raining Men, Geri Halliwell -

This weekend had been a rather hectic one, and the theme of the weekend certainly evolved around the subject of babies. Both my wife and I began the weekend by making our routine monthly check-up to the gynae on Saturday morning. The pregnancy has now come to its 32nd week, and after this last visit, the routine check-up will be more frequent at once every two weeks.

I think it was the first time that I ever made an appointment with the gynae on a Saturday and the queue to see her was breathlessly long. Our appointment was scheduled at 9.30am, and when I arrived at the allotted time, there must have been like half a dozen couples already there in the waiting room. Dang… and the doctor sort of practices first comes first serve despite the so called appointment that we made. By the time it came to our turn to see her, we had waited for almost 2 hours. That famous Malay phrase ‘penantian itu satu penyiksaan’ could not have felt more true.

I was met with 2 surprises on my visit to the gynae this time. I found out that a friend-colleague of mine was also seeing the same doctor. It was her second routine check-up, and her fetus is now 13 weeks old. It seems that every one of my friends at my age or near my age is having babies these days. I’ve been getting news about this friend or that friend, either informing me of the good news of their conception, or news about the safe delivery of their new born. And on that note, I just received the belated news that my good friend and blog guru Sarini safely gave birth to a baby girl on the 16th June 2005. Congratulations Sarini! May this be the first of many for the both of you. :-)

Oh yeah, and the other surprise was seeing the comedian Azli of the Senario gang in the same place that day. Apparently his wife was due for labour on that day itself. He must have brought his whole clan with him as the place was crowded with his relatives and friends.

Anyway, had another glimpse of our baby when the doctor performed the scan on wifey. I always look forward to this moment when we go for her routine check-up. It gives me the chance to catch a glimpse of our baby, and what the little wonder is doing in mummy’s tummy. I remember seeing the baby on the scan machine for the first time on our first visit to the gynae, and I got excited more than I thought I would. I guess I was still grappling with the reality of my wife being pregnant then, after just being married for just over 2 months (and still grappling with the reality of being a husband), and the experience felt rather surreal. I wasn’t quite sure how to react to the whole pregnancy idea until that day when I saw the fetus, only about 16 weeks old, flailing her arms around in my wife’s tummy. From that day onwards, I got connected to the little one. It was like she was saying hello to me. And she certainly had me at hello...

The baby weighed at 1.864kg, and that’s slightly under the ideal weight of 2kg as the doctor advised us at this stage of the pregnancy. Hmm... I guess I must have not been stuffing wifey enough.. hehe. No worries, said the doctor. I still have enough time to do that. Wife has gained about 13kg so far, and I think she’s getting a bit worried about the weight gain. Hehe... don’t worry dear. You’re still as lovely as the person I married in September last year, if not lovelier.

Anyhow, the rest of our weekend was spent attending toddlers’ birthday parties. As I’ve mentioned in my post on Friday, we had a birthday party to celebrate the birthdays of my nephew and niece, who turned 3, and my younger brother Didi, on Saturday. It occurred to me again that I would soon belong to the bapak budak group. The place was littered with toddlers and babies that you could have been forgiven for thinking they had all fallen from the skies. Man I feel old... And then today, another birthday party, this time another niece’s of mine 1st birthday. It was a good place to exchange notes however, and conversations were naturally engaged about my own upcoming baby and my preparations for the baby’s arrival.

It’s raining babies I tell you. And soon enough, there will be one coming this way, Insya-Allah.

TGIF!

TGIF!

Before I knew it, it's Friday again. And thank goodness for that. The week flew pretty fast for me, though I did hope that it could have flown by faster. Hehe... was away from the office on Monday and Tuesday attending a budgeting workshop, and lucky when i came into the office on Wednesday, I was not awaited by another mountain of work as I had feared.

The first quarter of the year is usually rather kind for us in accounts, and with the realignment of duties here, I can afford to not get my hands dirty on everything here. Since I will be in charge of reporting only beginning this month, I won't have to worry about the closing process, theoretically speaking. My notorious senior-colleague will be in charge of that beginning this month. When I asked her what her plan was in preparing for this month's closing, she said she'd just follow through from what she did in previous months, which weren't much. And almost immediately she insisted that I hand over everything that I did for previous month ends' closing to her this month. Oookkaayyy... I just hope this month's closing will not be a disaster. Either that, or I would have to do her work for her again.

By the way, today is my younger brother Didi's birthday. Happy 25th birthday bro! And conveniently, he shares his birthday with a niece and nephew of mind, who will be having their 3rd birthday celebration tomorrow. And the good thing about sharing your birthday with young children, especially young children whose parents hold birthday parties for them, is that your birthday gets celebrated too. With a cake, birthday presents and all. Lucky guy. Though i have to admit that my parents did make it a point to buy me a cake for my birthday last year. Very kind and sweet of them, perhaps since it was going to be my last birthday as a bachelor.

Oh well, have a good day ahead all. Aren't we all glad it's Friday? :-)

Letting The Cat Out Of The Bag...

Letting The Cat Out Of The Bag...

I have an announcement to make. I have been keeping the news for quite a while now, biding my time for the right moment to spill it. Not that I want to make a big deal out of it either. The big news is? Both my wife and I are expecting a baby come this August.

So finally I've said it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm as excited as the guy who finally got his full driving licence after driving with a probationary 'P' sticker for 2 years when I first got the news. And just like that guy who finally managed to move on from the ridicule of having that red hot 'P' stuck on the front and back of his car, I would have loved to inform the whole world about this piece of news of joy for me and my wife. But somehow, I just didn't feel right talking about it, especially when the pregnancy was still at its early stages.

For one, I've heard some of the elders said that it is not wise to talk about it so much, or make too big a deal out of it, especially when the pregnancy is still at its early stages. Maybe they felt it sounds a bit boastful or too early to sound the gong and tell the whole world about it, at least not until the pregnancy has come to its last trimester. I guess there is some validity to the argument. It has a 'don't count your chicks before they hatch' ring to it. And even as my wife's come to her last trimester, I've never stopped praying to The Almighty for the good health and being of my beloved wife and baby until the day of the delivery comes. Amiin.

But of course as time progresses it becomes increasingly difficult not to talk about it, or the anticipation of the little one's arrival. Inevitably, I would feel compelled to talk about the preparation for parenthood and a lot of other stories relating to pregnancy and babies. And after doing our first preliminary shopping for baby stuffs today, I felt perhaps it was finally time for me to come out clean about it.

Getting ourselves started on the shopping felt a bit weird. None of us had done this before, obviously, so we weren't quite sure of the essential things to get first. I have been getting some tips from friends who are parents themselves on what to get, and the advices are pretty much the same: ration your purchases ie buy little by little, to go easy on the wallet. The main things to get first would be the essentials, things you would need urgently after the baby's born. So with that in mind, and not to mention that I'm desperately waiting for the next pay day, we bought some diapers, towel, baby wipes, and 2 pairs of baby outfits. Nothing much to get any baby jumping up and down to get excited about, really. The next round of shopping shall take place in 2 weeks, and it promises to be a more exciting outing than the first one. Am thinking of looking around for a baby cot and a small cupboard for the baby's stuffs.

And speaking about cats, my pet cat Neo died yesterday after being run down by a car. Poor cat. You would always be remembered for having foot fetish and play with our feet whenever we do our laundry. And despite the name we gave you, we know now you were never meant to fulfil any prophecy. Nevertheless Neo, you will be missed.

Roger and out.

A Reflection

A Reflection

I just got back from a good half hour of jogging. Boy it makes me feel good. Have not had any decent exercise since I began enslaving myself to my ACCA revision a couple of weeks ago. Despite having much more work to do at the office, I decided to put all the work aside and had the much needed exercise.

I have to admit, I've been pretty disappointed with myself this week. With my bosses and most people away from the office since Monday, I had planned to do some catching up with work and get myself ahead. Work had piled up rather consistently, and I have to say that I've been lagging at least a week or two. But with the absence of people in the office, and hence resulting a lack of activities, I had become a bit relaxed and before I know it, people will be coming back to the office tomorrow. Suddenly I feel like the rabbit that loses its lead to the turtle in a race... blimey.

And then there's that notorious colleague of mine. No, no... this is not another bitching exercise. Like I've said, I'm not really used to the practice of bitching about another person, and personally I can't keep any ill feeling towards someone without getting myself distracted from getting on with my life. Whenever I do have this kind of sentiment towards someone, things will start going wrong for me, and I will not be at my best. I will start making more mistakes, losing my sharpness at work, not to mention losing my temper more easily, and suddenly I realise that I'm not that much better of a person either compared to the person I'm complaining about.

Hence I've realised, as I often have in similar cases in the past, I would need to look deeper inside at my own weaknesses, and remind myself that I'm not without the many faults I hate others for either. And perhaps I should be more forgiving to this person. By saying this I'm not going to let the wrong things she's doing to just go on happening. When pointing at other people's mistakes, people rarely realise the fine line between correcting the person and ostracising them. And I feel perhaps I've been doing the latter rather more aggresively than I've ever had. I should therefore put this behind me and deal this better like a man.

Now you see the wonders a half hour jog could do to a man's senses.

Nobody Likes A Whiner

Nobody Likes A Whiner

Lately, I’ve been very pi**ed off with a particular colleague of mine. She’s not really a colleague mind you, but someone in a position more senior than mine. And my function serves, or used to serve, as a supplemnt to her position. With foresight, I feel it’s kinda weird that my department are taking someone from outside to do a job that I have more experience and know-how to do, with I having carried out the supporting role for the job for the last 4 years. But then you don’t question the management’s decision, and I put that down to the possible reason that the management must have thought I was either incapable or unprepared to do the job myself. I’ve always felt I had much more to learn, and perhaps there’s some wisdom in the management’s choice that my limited knowledge could understand. But then, I digress…

My animosity towards this senior of mine has been cumulating ever since her first few months here. It all started fine enough when she joined my department in November 2004, with all the credentials she has to show. She is a certified financial analyst and with some other accounting qualification at hand, and with the prospect of having a qualified professional to work alongside with, I was relishing it. And to be honest, I was feeling a bit intimidated too. Surely, she would bring with her some ideas a person of her qualification would usually do.

The first few months were understandably a transitional period, and expectedly of course, I would have to carry the extra burden that comes with teaching my senior the trades about the job she’s supposed to perform. Honestly, it was a rather humbling experience at first, with her commenting that the current system is so inefficient that so much time and manpower could be saved with some extra initiatives she intends to carry out. Heck, I was even put down by her when we had a financial performance reconciliation meeting with a line department, when she chided me in front of the member from the line department that MY inefficiency was causing unnecessary stress in reconciliation work, and then further made promise to the person that beginning the next month, when she takes full rein of the job, such unnecessary tasks would not happen again. So I was made to look incompetent. Fine. I thought to myself, let’s see how she’d do it.

All these while my discrepancies with the respective line department had been in the region of RM10k, which could be defined as immaterial. My senior was proposing a zero difference, which in reporting for a trading company like this, is extraordinary. So she prepared the financial report for that line department the next month. And the difference was? RM 20 million!

Her first reaction to that huge difference? 'Izwan, check what’s wrong with my numbers. I can’t seem to point where the difference comes from'. You’re talking about RM20 million here makcik, not 20 sen. It’s like not being able to find the Twin Towers when you’re in KL. And so I redid the report that she prepared. And beginning that month itself, she told me to carry on with the reporting as she began to dislike the person from that line department that we had a meeting with the previous month. She said ‘he’s too pushy, asking too many questions about the report’. Well if my accounts you prepared showed a RM20 million difference, I would ask a million of questions too!

Things went pretty much downhill from then. She wasn’t taking charge of things that she’s supposed to. And what annoys me the most is that, she would do some shoddy work with reports in a split second without even verifying the correctness of the numbers, and then hand them to me to verify and confirm. And that’s pretty much the pattern up until now that I end up doing most of the reports, and most of the time correcting the mess that she made.

I blew my top recently though. I had to go on leave for my exams, and I left her some tasks which were urgent for submission while I was away. When I came back to the office, I was horrified to find out that nothing yet was done. When I confronted her, she claimed our non-exec staffs did not get back to her and informed her what to do, so she did nothing. ‘You waited for instructions from your non-exec staffs? Shouldn’t you be instructing them what to do?’, I fired back. She was adamant the particular non-exec staff was making her life difficult however. Ok la, fine I said…

So I told her to help me do it now, since I had loads of other things I left her to do that were still undone to do. She went on to do what I asked her to do, and again submitted to me haywired numbers. When I confronted her again with this, she said she couldn’t do it any further, as she was already busy with some other tasks at that time, failing to note that sitting next to her cubicle, I couldn’t help noticing her computer screen would always either show the website of some online music, or opened forward e-mail attachments. And on that same ‘busy’ evening of hers, she left the office at 5pm to go for squash practice.

Grrrrrr!!!

And today, as I’m working my a** off to complete the task that she claims she’s too busy to help me with, she’s been out of the office all morning sightseeing at a nearby convention that I would have to skip since I’m NOT TOO BUSY doing my job.

Arrgghhhh!!

My point is, I’m tired of whining about her everyday, and I really hate to whine and bitch about her. It doesn’t feel right, and maybe I should bring the matter up to my boss for his further action on the matter. Another colleague of mine made a comment that I looked busy all the time, and when I responded sarcastically it’s because I’m carrying a deadweight in the office, she countered back by saying ‘that’s what you say. Others might see it differently.’ I take that as a hint that perhaps I’ve whined about the matter too much, and maybe I should put a stop to it. I admit, nobody likes a whiner. Now it’s either I do something about it, or shut up about the matter altogether. And I intend to make this colleague-from-hell of mine to be more accountable for her responsibilities here, some way or another. You just watch…

I know, I know. I shall stop the whining. *Sigh*

Not Another Manic Monday

Not Another Manic Monday

It's just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my funday
An I-don't-have-to-run day
It's just another manic Monday

- Manic Monday, Bangles -

It doesn't really feel like a Monday morning today. Most probably due to almost 90% of the office people being away today, on duty for this annual convention that the company I work for organise. I've been wanting to volunteer for the conference since the day I started work here, but there has always been something to stop me from being available to participate. The first year was due to some misunderstanding between myself and the organising committee, and my name got left out at the finalisation of names of participants. Ever since then, my non-participation have been largely due to busy work schedule and I feel even the boss has reservations about me participating. Oh well, I guess I won't mind. It should ensure me a relatively peaceful few days in the office, until the convention ends in 3 days.

Spent the weekend lazing around and not doing much. It felt like a sinful luxury, what after the weeks of exertions preparing for my ACCA exams. The highlight of the weekend was probably attending my cousin's wedding in Subang Jaya. My, listening to the sound of kompangs and seeing the bride and groom walk up the aisle brings back sweet memories of my own wedding all over again. Like I told wifey, it feels only like yesterday when we were just married. Hehe...

The wedding was ok. It is unfortunate however, that some bad feelings were generated from the whole affair. I guess since I belong to the 2nd generation in the family, I might not have felt the pang so much that have come out from the controversies that had arisen. I do not want to speak ill of anyone, and I think it's suffice to say that some matters relating to family affairs could have been done better. I'm not telling people how the whole function should have been conducted, but when one side of the family felt they were being deliberatly marginalised in favour of the other, you can't help feeling unwanted. And then setting up rules like no children under the age of 8 should be brought to the hotel function. That basically ruled out almost 60% of my relatives, and in the end many others just chose to stay away altogether. It is a bit sad that such a sacred event like a wedding becomes a cause for ill-feeling, especially within a family. Many lessons can be gained from here.

Oh well...

The morning's still young, and apart from the rain outside, the signs are today is not going to be like another manic Monday. And in such rarities, I don't have to wish it was Sunday. :-)

Have a good week ahead people!

Merdeka! Merdeka!

Merdeka! Merdeka!


The late Tunku after passing his ACCA exams...

Do not adjust your wristwatches or even your calendar. It is not yet the 31st August and yet another celebration of Malaysia's independence day. It is however a celebration of independence of sort for me, as I've finally finished the last of my 2 ACCA papers this last Wednesday. Well, I can't really say that everything is done and over with yet as I still have 8 more papers to sit for, assuming I pass the 2 papers I sat for this time. Classes for the December examination should begin sometime in July. Nevertheless, I'm going to bask in this moment of temporary freedom while it lasts. Ahhhh....

So how did it go? Well, I'm happy to say that I think it went okay. My exam answers weren't exactly award-winning material, but I think I've done enough to realistically hope for a pass. Yep, a pass is all I need. Gone are the days when I used to come home from an exam going through my class notes and textbooks checking whether I've given the right answers in the exam, and then estimating what score I would probably be getting. And in those days, anything less than 90% was considered as a disappointment. These days, even the passing mark of 50% is considered such a sacred number that I would happily accept it if someone had told me before the exam that's the score I would be getting. Boy, how time has changed.

Doing my studies part time has opened my eyes to a few things which I used to take for granted. One of them is how much time a full time student has in his hands to prepare for the exams, compared to us part timers. Having to do it part time, I've had to plan my revision time properly, and squeeze it through my busy work and social schedule. And it is even more difficult than I make it sound. Like I've mentioned before, it is the last thing that you fancy, to open your 300 over pages textbook, together with your yellow-colored highlighted class notes, after you've just had a long day at the office. And in my case, when I say long days at the office, I literally mean it. I can count with the fingers on my right hand of the number of days I've actually left the office before 6pm in a year.

As much as I dread it, that's exactly what I've forced myself to do this last couple of weeks. Been staying till past midnight on some ocassions worming my textbooks and highlighting lines on my class notes. It requires quite a considerable amount of mental strength to get myself doing all that.

Come to think of it, the revision doesn't feel so bad after you've survived the first hour of it. And even more so, it could sometime prove difficult to switch off your head when going to bed later in the night. It is the next morning when the real test sets in, when you have to wake up. And knowing you'd have to go through the same routine all over again.

Until of course, the end of the exams. Which is why I'm rejoicing this moment so much, temporary though it might be.

Before walking into the exams hall, you can see all sorts of emotions visible on the faces of the candidates. There were the confident ones, those with the relaxed eyebrows and slight smile, a reflection of quiet confidence. These kinds of people are ready for anything you throw them, and therefore are peace in mind. And then there are those who spot questions, and have that slightly wary look about them. The forehead is slightly stretched, as the eyebrows are dragged to the centre of their faces by the tension. "If they start asking about question A rather than question B, I'm gonna be dead meat" is the favourite theme in these people's minds.

And then there are those who are totally unprepared for it. This group can be divided into 2 though: 1. The first is the one with the deceptive smile, one which makes you think they're prepared. The smile in fact is just a sign of calm resignation, knowing that all the worries in the world would not help to serve the cause in the next few hours of the exams; 2. The second is the remorseful type, and you will see they have that sorry "I promise to myself I would not get myself in this situation again in the future" look. This 2nd type is more optimistic however, and they're the ones who first come up with the phrase "it might not be as bad as you think". They believe in miracles, and however dismal their performance in the exam might be, still hopeful for the improbable.

My exams result will come out in August. And I am counting on it to be a month of multiple celebrations for me. Amiin.

Baby Hannah

Baby Hannah

I had promised to put up pictures of my baby niece a couple of months ago when she was born. What with my limited knowledge of uploading pictures on the net, and my own lack of a camera to take pictures with, I've been unable to do so. Until today that is.

Since then, my brother has taught me the whole new world of uploading pictures into my blog. I guess some of you would have noticed the sudden bloom of pictures available in here recently. It's a development you could associate with my jakunnes. Hehe... and then recently I've taken the liberty to buy myself a thumb drive, perhaps the most significant step I've taken in my quest to be a more IT literate person. A pittance of an investment to some, but a huge step in IT investment for me. I'm learning something new everyday. But then, I seem to digress...

Here's a series of some of Hannah's pictures, since the first few days she was born, until today. I tell you, she's been a bundle of joy in the house for everyone. Though she might not be the only one for long now. Someone else is on the way I hear you ask? Well, that's another story for another time I guess... ;-).

For now, introducing my cute niece to the world!

"Whatcha looking at?!" On her 2nd day. Showing her attitude look only my sister could do better.


"Hi mama!" This kid knows how to look adorable.


"Is this for the latest issue of Babies Times Pak Ngah?" Her features resembles many of my brother in law's. Future Daddy's girl I see.


"Come ere you. I'll give you a gentle head butt!!".


"Enough with the modelling Pak Ngah. I'm sleepyyy.....zzzzzzzzzzzz...". When sleeping however, she looks like a small copy of my sister.

Hope you ohh-ed and ahh-ad as much as we have. :-).

A Hair Raising Experience

A Hair Raising Experience

We use ten per cent of our brains. Imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other 60 per cent.

Ellen Degeneres, The Beginning

Been spending the whole weekend preparing myself for my ACCA exams in a week’s time. I tell you, it’s a struggle. After a long week of grueling work at the office, your mind does not really fancy another grueling weekend hitting the books. To be honest, I am beginning to feel that studying probably takes more hard work than your usual routine work at the office. While office work can become routine after a while, and with routine comes comfort at the regularity, studying means having to know and understand something new. And of course not to mention, the classic dreadful feeling of having to be examined on them.

Einstein once said that the average human being only utilise up to ten per cent of their brain capabilities. Maybe there is some truth in that. In pushing myself to do as much revision as possible these past weekends, my body metabolism was so high that I think my body lost as much water revising over 6 hours as I would jogging for an hour. Even after drinking jug after jug of water, I wasn’t making as many trips to the loo as I would usually do under normal circumstances. It felt like I was risking overheating my brain as I attempted to go over the average brain speed norm of ten per cent. I think I must have hit 10.5% max.

I once heard that after Einstein passed away, his brain was retained for research, to find out what the brain of someone of his genius is made of. What they found out was the mucus (or something that separates the cortex of our brains, I’m not sure of the right term used to describe it. My science has always been a bit hazy) that separates his right and left brain was almost non existent, that it practically enabled Einstein to use the functions associated with the respective hemispheres of his brain to the fullest. Electric signals could be transmitted faster between the 2 cortex of his brains, which is not just essential for quick thinking and decision making, but also made him a very creative person. His brain was therefore a sizzling data processing machine, which probably explains the electric-charged hair-do he is usually spotted with in his famous pictures.

That electric-charged hair-do is probably due to brain overheating

My hair’s still down, so I guess I’ve not done enough revision as I’m supposed to. Until the day of my exams next week, it is going to be a loooong and hair-raising journey for me.

The Case of The Missing Comments...

The Case of The Missing Comments...

My enetation comment has somehow mysteriously disappeared. When I first noticed it on Tuesday, I had dismissed it to the ocassional glitch that enetation usually offers you. But when it kept on disappearing till today, I was beginning to feel a bit exasperated. Something felt missing in the The One's blog make-up, and it was just like missing a set of old good furniture in the house.

So I contacted my blog guru and got her help to check the problem. I had suspected that maybe I had accidentally tampered with the template over last weekend, and as a result screwed up the comment template. My guru however informed me that this wasn't the case. The enetation comment just didn't want to appear. Maybe blogger felt it was about time people having blogs with them started using their own comment engine. So good ol' Sarini helped me put up the blogger's comment. It's ok I guess, but it just feels different. Just like getting a new set of furniture, the eyes just have to get used to the new look.

Enetation, you will be missed. Tsskkk...

Way To Success

Way To Success

The real thing that people learn at management school.

Tadaa!!

Tadaa!!

Guess what? See the 'users online' count on the left side of this screen? I've made another leap (by my standards laa..) in improving this blog. Been wanting put the user tracker on my blog for some time now, but I've neither had the time nor the know-how to do it. Been doing some blog hopping and learning to do it by viewing the source of other people's blogs. Don't worry, I wasn't copying anyone's layouts or ideas, I was just learning how some people put up some stuffs and applications on their blogs to make them look interactive. Hopefully I won't get sued for infringement of copyright rules. :p

I've always wondered if there's anyone out there apart from myself that comes by this blog at any one time. It's hard to say, but judging from the lack of comments and tags that I'm getting, the possibility seems to point at none. With this user tracker now, I would at least be able to know for sure. Hehe..

To anyone out there dropping by, would love it if you could leave your footprints here in some way. It would go some way to making the place merrier. ;-)

Night night.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith



No, no... this is not a movie review. I think I could leave that part to a lot of other websites on the internet dedicated to the movie. I am not that good at doing reviews anyway, and I might just end up spoiling the story for you given my lack of story telling skills. But just to be on the safe side, there might just be accidental spoilers ahead. So those who have yet to watch the movie, you've been warned.

My general feeling about the movie: it was great, and much better than the first 2 instalments. As I have yet to watch the last 3 episodes of the Star Wars series, I would stop short from saying that this 3rd instalment was the best of em all. Most of you Star Wars fans out there would have figured it out anyway that the 3 prequels were made to tell the story of the making of Darth Vader. So most of the people flocking to the cinema to watch Revenge of The Sith would be anticipating how Anakin finally succumbed to the darkside. Which probably explains why the first 2 intsalments were relative bores. It seems to me like George Lucas might have come up with the story for Revenge first and struggled to make up stories for the first 2 movies to come to the climax. The plot was more purposeful, and the storyline more solid. And the light sabre fighting scenes were awesome.

I could sense how much awaited the Revenge was when the movie started rolling, everyone in the cinema was applauding it. Hehe... to be quiet honest, I actually felt like applauding myself. Before the movie started, I could see some people talking to strangers sitting next to them discussing the movie. It felt like a Star Wars convention of sort, and it was going to be the last. Unless George Lucas comes with more sequels or prequels after this one. Personally, I was thinking it would be rather fun if prequels were made of the making of Yoda. Hehe... just a passing thought.

Possible spoilers ahead. All in all, the movie ended giving me a feel of melancholy. The thought of someone succumbing to the darkside through sacrifice and love for someone does make a great story line for a tragic love story. History have shown in the past how good people have turned bad through sacrifice for loved ones, confusion, and other bad elements taking advantage of other's helplesness. But it does make a great story line. And for that, I think George Lucas have done a great job in making this latest and probably last instalment of Star Wars a very watchable one.

Go and see it!

Of Competitions and Beauty Pageants

Of Winning Competitions and Beauty Pageants

I can't work. I can't even begin to focus myself to get down to serious work this morning. I feel more like surfing the net in the office (big offense ooo..), or just sit down and do nothing. And the fact that 60% of my colleagues are on leave today probably doesn't help either. And goodness no one has been looking for me yet this morning. It feels kinda tranquil at the moment, though I suspect it's just another calm before the storm. That typifies the job in accounts and finance where our task is pretty much cyclical. Middle of the month, especially the early months of the financial year is whe I'm relatively idle, and it's the perfect time for me to start tidying up my ever-untidy cubicle. When I feel like it...

I guess I know why I find it so hard to focus today. Been a bit side tracked since yesterday when I found out that I am one of the lucky winners of 2 tickets to watch the 3rd part of the Star Wars Trilogy: Revenge of The Sith at KLCC TGV cinema tonight. There was a competition to come up with captions for a picture of Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker slugging it out with their light sabres. Since they were giving away 100 tickets, I just thought, what the heck... I'll just send an entry. They are giving out a 100 tickets, so there's always a good chance of winning anyway. Sent my entry like 2 minutes before the dateline, and wallaa... today I'm one of the lucky winners to the show tonight. Had I have to buy the ticket myself, I would have waited at least 2 weeks after the movie opens in Malaysia before I go and watch it. You know la what the queue is like when a movie of Star Wars' following opens in Malaysia...

Another interesting matter that came to my attention recently which has a slight relation to the subject of winning competitions is the subject of Malaysia's Miss Malaysia / Universe 2004, Ms Andrea Fonseka. I've never been a follower of beauty pageant show, and when they do show it on tv, I would usually catch the end of the show to see who's won it. Since Miss Malaysia in the past (with exception of a few, I think) has rarely managed to progress anywhere beyond the first round, I never got to know how our Miss Malaysia look like. So when I received pictures of her yesterday in my mailbox, I almost thought the picture was a spoof. My first response was, this can't be real. So I made some sleuthing work this morning and surfed the net a bit to find out more about her. My, my... could this really be the most beautiful woman in Malaysia last year?

Malaysia's Most Beautiful Woman in 2004?

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that she's ugly. On any other stage, any male could easily warm up to her typical oriental good looks. However, her physique is not one you would imagine to be strutting on the Miss Universe stage. Some harsh comments have been made about her in the media, and you could also find some bloggers having a field day writing about her. Makes you feel pity for the lass. But come on la, would I ever enrol myself in Mr Malaysia, if I already know so well the only thing that protrudes about me is not even a muscle but some flabby fat hanging above my abdomen? You'd know the answer to that already...

That raises the question whether she knew what she was getting herself into. Or perhaps the more popular question, how did she ever become Miss Malaysia that year? Stories are rife about her connections with the organisers of the Miss Malaysia contest, and that the supposed most beautiful woman of the contest did not win. It's either that, or the standards of the women participating in the contest that year had plummetted to a historical low. The good thing about it though, is that it must have made anybody who is anybody feels like even they could become Miss Malaysia. But on a negative note, imagine the impression that the world audience gets from the globally televised Miss Universe, which is advertised as where The World's Most Beautiful People meet, and find that we're represented by Ms Fonseka. Again, I have nothing against her. I would say again that I think she is an attractive lady in her own right, but a Miss Universe material? Hmmm...

Ramble.. ramble..

Ramble.. ramble..

Unlike in the past couple of weeks, I've not had many ideas to write of late. Is this what aspiring writers usually call the writer's block? Maybe.. I don't know. I would love to owe part of it to my demanding work schedule, but strangely of late work has not been hounding me as bad. I have to say, April 2005 marks the most entry I've made in a month. Perhaps I should be proud of that.

This last weekend I finally managed to drag myself to do some revision for my ACCA exam this June. Reading the first few pages of my revision notes and book, I could almost hear the chinks of old machinery in my head, as I awoke my brain once again to the art of studying and revision. To be honest, I had never been that great in the art. My days in pre-university and university days were more marked for my escape acts, where I would somehow miraculously made it through my exams unscathed with minimal, close to nil, revision. And to be honest, the results weren't that great either la. I am fortunate however that I will be taking the exam with my wife this time, who has been an excellent motivator-cum-disciplinarian to me. Love you dear... ;-).

Among the highlights of last week which I wished to write about is the end of The Amazing Race Season 7. Feeling a bit sad that the season has come to an end. I guess the winning couple Uchenna and Joyce deserved it. I have to respect Uchenna for his gentlemanly ways. I felt that he never lost his values throughout the race and managed to keep Joyce's spirits high despite of all the obstacles they had to go through. Rob and Amber were also a favourite of mine. Rob was brushing everyone's feathers in the show. There was one episode when they were in India, and they had to push this heavy elephant statue along a busy Indian road. Rob was pulling out Indian kids from the sides of the road and made them push the elephant with him and Amber like no one's business, and then slyly remarked 'it is tough organising Indian labour'. I tell you, the fella is so selamba. Though it was easy to hate him, you can't help thinking that Amber and him were very good and probably were the best to win the race anyway. And who could forget the golden couple, Meredith and Gretchen. I was rooting for them until they got eliminated. They went as far as they could, and it was nice while they were still in it. Mind you, not bad for a couple their age to be in the last four.

Ok la. Back to work!

Exploding Toads

Exploding Toads

Get this. Taken from the UK daily The Independent Online on 8th May 2005.

Stone the crows! Exploding toad case solved
By Ruth Elkins in Berlin
08 May 2005
After weeks of flummoxing scientists, Germany's great exploding toads mystery has been solved. They were gruesomely murdered by crows with a taste for foie gras.
Health officials in Hamburg started to panic after some 1,000 toads puffed up and exploded last month, their entrails splattering an area of up to a square metre. The tabloid press went into overdrive, dubbing the carnage site in Hamburg's Altona district the "Pond of Death" and warning children and dogs to stay away. Theories ran wild that toads were committing suicide or were croaking because of a virus spread by South American race horses. But now one of Germany's top experts on amphibians says he's cracked the case. Frank Mutschmann, who examined both dead and living Hamburg specimens at his Berlin research centre, found all had identical circular incisions on their backs, small enough to be the work of a bird's beak. Then he found something strange: their livers were missing. "There were no bite or scratch marks, so we knew the toads weren't being attacked by a raccoon or rat, which would have also eaten the entire toad," he said. "It was clearly the work of crows, which are clever enough to know the toad's skin is toxic and realise the liver is the only part worth eating.
"Only once the liver is gone does the toad realise it's been attacked. It puffs itself up as a natural defence mechanism. But since it doesn't have a diaphragm or ribs, without the liver there is nothing to hold the rest of its organs in. The lungs stretch out of all proportion and rip; the rest of the organs simply expel themselves."
The toads' grisly deaths are, in fact, a well-documented phenomenon. First recorded in Germany in 1968, exploding toads have been reported in the country, as well as in Belgium, Denmark and America. Hamburg's toads started to explode during their week-long mating season. Dr Mutschmann believes the crows went in for the kill when the toads were too busy enjoying the heights of sexual excitement. "They would have noticed something as the crow pecked at them, but it wouldn't have been particularly painful," he said.
The riddle solved, the question now is whether to exact revenge on the crows. Toads, much-loved in Germany, are a protected species. But so are crows. "I've had several angry emails," said Dr Mutschmann. "But there's no reason to worry. It's just a part of nature."

How gruesome. Death in the midst of the ultimate excitement. Hehe...

I miss reading the UK papers.

For the original source, go here...

http://news.independent.co.uk/europe/story.jsp?story=636520

Feeling Good

Feeling Good

I am feeling good this morning. Yesterday was a public holiday, given that May Day fell on a Sunday. I am not sure what you think, but I feel the good thing about public holiday falling on a Monday sort of reduces the blues of having to come back to work. Strange tho it might sound, but having to start work today doesn't come with the normal blues and the Ray Charles music in my head as it does had it been Monday. Weird... Had a very well rested labour day yesterday. Slept on the couch for almost 4 hours yesterday afternoon. I guess that probably explains the good mood today. Ntah la..

Alright lah, need to get back to work. Need to accomplish a couple of things. Have so many things to write about this last weekend. Maybe I'll keep that for later today once I get home.

Have a good week y'all.

Brain Conflict

Brain Conflict

Every morning feels like a drag to work now, and I was close to taking an emergency leave today. Morale and motivation are definitely not at the best level these days, and I've been looking forward to the weekend since this last Monday. Fair enough I feel, since I've had to come to work last Saturday and Sunday anyway. Half of my brain now tells me 'you have a lot more work to do', while the other half of it saying 'p**s off!!'. Yup, at times like this I wonder how I manage to get myself to work.

Ok la.. to be fair, I'm paid to be here from 8 to 5 to get things done, so I'll let the former half of my brain win today. It's the right thing to do anyway. Come tomorrow till Monday, my latter half of the brain will win hands down.

For now, have to psyche myself up.. Izwan Boleh!

Feeling Lucky

Feeling Lucky

I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
- Dirty Harry, 1971 -

It's been a rather hectic beginning to the week. As matter of fact, I can't really point out exactly when my week began, since this past Saturday and Sunday were working days for me. The amount of work that they're giving us, and not to mention the increasingly unrealistic datelines they're demanding makes me feel like reporting my employers to Suhakam. Crazy.. crazy...

Anyhow, though my weekend was somehow spoilt by having to come to work, it turned out to be an enjoyable weekend for me nevertheless. The highlight of the weekend was definitely sending my car for tinting. It cost us a cool RM 1,400, and boy am I glad it times very well with my pay day. By the time I took my money out to get the tinting done, the balance in my bank account was down to 3 figures only. Not only that, they were 3 figures threatening to come down to 2. So the fact that pay day was 3 days after we've done the extra addition to the Matrix was a real help. The car feels complete now, and I've behaved like a small kid with a new toy. Jakun sket..

My ears are acting up again. I've been having this consistent problem with my hearing since I was 17. No, it's not symptoms of old age thank you. It's just that the wax in my ears have this tendency of hardening and block my eardrums. Been going to the ENT specialists on average once every 3 years now when the wax gets too hard that they have to perform a minor jet-spray treatment to remove it. The wax in my ears are threatening to get hard again now it seems. It isn't too bad now though that only one ear is affected. But there have been instances when both of my ears will get blocked and I would become partially deaf for a while. Just as recently as 3 years ago this happened to me and I could barely hear a thing for almost a week until the ENT specialist performed the routine jet-spray treatment on me. It was a bloody miserable week for me as I could barely hear and I would have to ask people to speak louder and repeat whatever they were saying. I remember watching TV at that time and I had to turn on the volume so loud that I could practically feel the sofa I was sitting on vibrating from the loud noise from the TV. Not to mention the noise it made in the house. My brother in law just got home at the same time and he claimed to have heard the noise as he parked the car. To be honest, I wished I could have turned the TV volume louder as even all that wrecking noise it was making were whispers to me.

The experience has made me to reflect countless of times and made me to count my blessings. It has given me the opportunity to have a taste of what the deaf experiences and the frustration that comes with being in a world of silence. Yeah, it is very frustrating I tell you. Very often we take for granted these simple but crucial blessings that God gifts us; the blessing of our basic 5 senses. In moments of deprivation do we realise how lucky we have been.

I do feel lucky. And blessed too.

*Sigh*

*Sigh*

I think I'm pretty much in a weekend mood already. My workstation is once again a big pile of mess, just one week after I've done a major spring cleaning here. i think I need to go on a vacation of some sort, and be away from the office for a long, long, time. I feel like driving around in my Matrix in a country of mountains and wide open land, and just drive around without any care in the world. And stay over in a country cottage where there's no chance someone would be looking for me.

Oh how I wish...

Mood to work has deserted me completely at this moment. I just feel like running off and have an early weekend. So many things to do, and so many things to remember. And I've been playing catch up for a while now, that it exasperates me. I have to say, my self esteem is not at its best at this point in time.

2 more hours and I'm outta here...

A Happy Day!

A Happy Day!

I'm so darn busy this week, but I have to get this off my chest before I begin the day.

The Happy Song

Kalau rasa gembira tepuk tangan..
Clap.. clap.. clap..
Kalau rasa gembira tepuk tangan..
Clap.. clap.. clap..
Kalau rasa gembira beginilah caranya..
Kalau rasa gembira tepuk tangan..
Clap.. clap.. clap..

Man do I feel good this morning. In fact, the build up to my such good feeling today had started since yesterday, when I went to JPJ to register my car. Yup, that's it folks. I've finally got my Matrix baby. We arrived at JPJ Wangsa Maju at 8.30 am yesterday, which was actually rather late if you intend to bid for the good numbers. We had listed down a few numbers for bidding, and I was quite keen on this one particular number, 3389, which was in fact similar to my father's authentic Volvo's number. But amazingly, the number was taken up in the space of 15 minutes while we were waiting to be called to the counter to register. We managed to get another number on our list however. Our list was courtesy of our car dealer, who is a nice Chinese guy and apparently very literate with the meanings of numbers. The number we got in the end was 3963, and it apparently means 'easy to get rich', or so he says. My father on the other hand said the 2 numbers in the middle somehow implied a 'reversed' playboy, apparently refering to the misplaced '69'. Haha... We were lucky that there weren't too many people registering their vehicles yesterday, and the registration process that usually would have taken up 2 hours, were completed in only half an hour. Nasib baikk...

Drove the car home last night with a coat hangar stuck in my mouth, smiling all the way home. There's no describing the feeling of driving the car out of the showroom. And this morning, I arrived at the office about half an hour late. Was being extra careful on the road; no ciluk2 (jumping queues) this morning, and it was the first time in my recorded memory that I took more than 5 minutes to park my car. *sigh* I think it's a normal behaviour that comes with having something new... hehe..

Will be sending the car for V-Kool installation this weekend. Then my new Matrix will be complete. Insya-Allah and Alhamdulillah...

Ok la back to work. Can't believe I've written this long already. Before that, another happy song for the road:

Mari kita..Mari kita..
Bergembira tepok tangan sama sama
Kita menari sambil langgar kanan kiri
Goyang badan goyang kaki
Hooree hooree
Hip hip hooree
Hooree hooree hooree hooree
Hip hip hooree hooree hooree
Bergembira, bergembira
Ha ha ha ha
La la la la la la la la la.........

An Alarming Morning

An Alarming Morning

The whole house was wokened up by the house security alarm this morning. The alarm triggered off around 5 this morning, and yours truly was in the bathroom setting out for some toilet business. And to add coincidence to the story, there was also a separate incident happening in the bathroom just before the alarm was triggered; i had an encounter with a cockroach of grandfather-sized proportion, which apparently was as surprised and horrified to see me as I was to see it. The cockroach actually tried to find a place to hide, attempting to squeeze itself through the small holes of the sift that drains the water from the bathroom to the gutter outside. Back in the days when it was of a relatively quaint size, it would have probably escaped. Fat cockroach had no such luck this time and I went for the kill.

It was actually quite skillful in dodging the gayung i was using to wham it, and it actually had the nerve to make a counter attack on me. While I was clobbering away maddeningly, hitting the brave roach a couple of times slightly, that was when the alarm triggered off and my attention was immediately taken away to more serious concern.

The memory of my house being broken into in October last year suddenly came back rushing in my mind, and instinctively I grabbed a long spear that was in my room (which my father must have gotten from the many souvenirs he received while he was serving in Sarawak) and went out to check what was going on. Outside in the living room was my father, clad only in his kain sarong and a long sword in his hands, apparently prepared for any possibility. While we might have looked like rejected extra casts from The Lord of The Rings, the anxiety we felt was real. We went and inspected hurriedly at the possible points where we felt the house might have been broken through, bracing for any possibility. It was at this point that I only began to realise, I was only clad in a towel.

The indicator on the alarm control system showed that the breach or its attempt that prompted the alarm was made from my room and my brother's. However, we couldn't find any signs of attempt to break into the house anywhere. As the mystery deepened and anxiety escalated, I mentioned about my personal duel with the heroic roach earlier. Apparently, the impact of my bangings of the gayung on the tile floor caused enough vibration to set off the security alarm, which had a sensor placed at the toilet's ventilator.

There were nervous sighs of relief at this confession of mine all over in the house, and we were prepared to dismiss the incident due to that. We then set about to get ourselves ready for Subuh. But could that really be the reason for triggering the alarm? Or could someone actually tried to breach into our house through the ventilator of my bathroom, and somehow clumsily ran off triggering the alarm, at the sound of the bangings that I was making in the bathroom? Hmm... I don't know. We checked the windows and the ventilator from outside this morning and there were no signs of attempted forced entry.

I went back to my bathroom after we reset the alarm, getting ready for Subuh. To my surprise, the badly wounded roach was still running around looking for escape. Must have been one of those dim ones (and mightily strong as well) I guess, still running about unable to figure out where to hide after all that time.

I took the aerosol can and got it out of its misery.

What a way to start off the weekend.

Decisions... Decisions...

Decisions... Decisions...

Life is full of decisions. At the moment, I feel like there is so many for me to make. Decisions to make at work, at home, in my personal life, in my relations with friends and families etc. Suddenly i feel as though I have to make decisions on so many things at the same time that my head feels like bursting.

I guess it doesn't help that I'm the kinda person you can describe as crisis-shirker. Meaning I would usually avoid confrontations, or situations where I would be required to make a critical decision. When the going gets tough, I choose to have a coffee break instead, rather than buff up and get tough. I know it is not right, and I'm still conditioning myself to get better at handling problems life sometimes offers you.

The biggest decision I've had to make this year was buying a new car. Ohh.. haven't I mentioned this before? I decided that I would need a bigger car than my previous 2-door Satria. Thought of making do with wifey's Kelisa in the short term to help our budget, but with car prices expected to go up in the next couple of months, I guess I had to make a move soon. And what car is it?



The drool-inducing Matrix


At RM74k (on the road price, insurance and additional accessories included), I find it a good steal. We're pretty much in the process of finalising the purchase deal. The only thing that's stalling the process is the fact that I do not yet have enough money to supplement my car loan. I have to cough up an additional RM14k or so to make the deal complete. To be honest, it's not that i do not have the money. Remember the Satria I've offloaded? I actually make around RM20k from the sale of that car. And my inability to get my hands on that money is a problem that stands out like a sore thumb with me now.

Some people say making deals with friends is not so different from dealing with the devil himself. Oh well, ok... I made that up. But really, you know what the attitude is like when you make deals with friends or families. The theme would usually be 'lebih kurang'. 'Alaa... dengan member pun nak berkira ke, lebih kurang je laa...' is the order of the day. The friend or family member you're dealing with would expect you to give them some lee-way if they somehow do not come good with their promise or part of the bargain. And the problem is more often than not, you will end up more on the 'kurang' side than on the 'lebih'. Mana boleh tahann...

I offloaded the Satria to a close friend who promised me to give me the proceeds in a month's time, and mind you, we made this deal in early Feb 05. And now it'd mid April 05 already. What pisses me off is that why did he make such promise when he knew it was going to be difficult for him to come good with it? And what pisses me of further is that I still have to pay the car's loan monthly instalments until the car has been sold. Ok la, to be fair to him, he is selling the car for me and not buying it from me. He does second hand car dealership in his part time you see. But had he been honest with me about what the real scenario would have been, I wouldn't have been so annoyed. I would have at least planned my finances accordingly. Or maybe offloaded it elsewhere.

So let that be a lesson to you Izwan...

On another note, after a looong contemplation, I've finally decided to register for my ACCA exams in June 2005. That proved to be another tough decision to make. Coughed out GBP 153 for the registration just now, so really have to hit the books in the next month and a half.

Not to mention reduce the visits to San Francisco Coffee to stay easy on the wallet... :-(

How To Make an Izwan

How To Make an Izwan

How to make a Izwan

Ingredients: 1 part friendliness 3 parts silliness 3 parts leadership

Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little lustfulness if desired!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Jogging!

Jogging!

Managed to get away from the office for an hour or so for a session of jogging today. The chance to do so is very rare these days, when I could not be seen leaving my workstation earlier than 7 pm without getting groans of disapproval from many. I would love to say that it's due to my unquestionable popularity here, but if only that was true. Everybody needs answers to their requests and queries pronto from me, and honestly there are times when I even forget what i was going to do on any given day to begin with.

Been piling up the weight like no one's business, so hopefully the 45 minutes jog session would do me good.

Any Given Sunday

Any Given Sunday

For the first time in weeks, yesterday's Sunday turned out to be a normal one for me. Normal in a sense that I could do whatever I wanted to do on any given Sunday. What I'm getting at is that it was the first Sunday in the last couple of weeks that I didn't have to come to the office and instead spent it like anyone would on a normal Sunday.

I think it has a relaxing effect on me already. I'm not as grouchy and as negative come Monday morning. All work and no play does make Izwan a very groucy boy... The Monday blues effect is somehow less. I do believe that to be effective, you have to have a good balance of work and play. But really, when it comes to it, work can be real murder.

Went to Midvalley Megamall with wifey yesterday. Main mission: to get a baby monitor for baby Hannah. We had surveyed KLCC for it, but every store we went that sells baby products seem to have sold it out. Luckily, Jayajusco in Megamall has it, and now my sister could be more flexible to be around the house. The baby monitor showed how practical it could be already yesterday when we were having dinner last night. I had a quick eerie sense when the baby monitor suddenly came to live, the one that sort of reminded you to movies like Signs or The Ring. First came the static sound for the first 10 seconds or so, and then the cries that the baby made. It's a wonderful gadget nevertheless, that it would catch the slightest of sounds the baby makes, but not other light sounds in the background (e.g. the fan, walking movements etc). So it was a day of wonderful discovery for yours truly...;-).

Also bought myself 2 long sleeve shirts for work while in Midvalley. My wife said that my other shirts are getting a bit worn out. So today, i'm wearing one of those I bought yesterday. It gives me that sense of newness today... no wonder I don't feel the blues so much. Hehe... and to cap the wonderful day, we had ice cream at Baskin Robbins before leaving for home. And just to share such a wonderful feeling I had yesterday, I bought 2 more quarts of Baskins to take away home for the whole family.

And that's what I call a real Sunday... ;-)

Wish I Was Elsewhere

Wish I Was Elsewhere

Hi there. It has been another long hiatus eh? I guess some people are beginning to get used to that fact on this blog. Yup, the blue moon comes by as often as my updates. I'm really sorry folks (like there's really anyone out there anymore!), but I've been so preoccupied (the usual excuse eh?). This time of the year, the month of March and April to be exact, is a humongously busy time for people in my line. Well, I know, I know... I can almost hear murmurs at the back saying my updates have always been few and far in between at any time in the year... *sigh*..

Ok la.. so maybe it's just a lame reason for lack of updates. Having said that, I'm in the office today, even though Saturday is not an official working day for my company. Forever trying to tie up loose ends... it's that time of the year of audit, reports, and company board meetings. It's that time of the year when bilis in the company like me gets enmeshed in the sambal for the nasi lemak that's to be served to the big fishes...

Some metaphor...

Honestly, though my body is here, my mind has been all over the place this morning. Here's a list of places I would rather be this point of time:

1. In bed... I could just sleep the whole morning.
2. In front of the TV watching the Amazing Race.
3. At the cinemas, contemplating on what show to watch in the afternoon.
4. Queenstown, New Zealand. Couldn't get enough of the place.
5. Anywhere else but here...

There are some other things on my mind that's been bugging me off late, but maybe that's for another entry.

At the moment, I have to hold on tight to the reins that's holding my mind from running away from my body, and get some work done.

Welcome Hannah!

Welcome Hannah!

Last Sunday, 6th March 2005 was a very happy moment for my family. My elder sister Lili, safely gave birth to the cutest baby girl. Welcome to the family Hannah!

Her birth was also close to being coincidental with Lili’s own birthday, which is on the 4th of March. I guess the baby wanted my sister to be over with her birthday dinners and celebrations first before deciding to come out to this world. We took my sister out for her birthday dinner on the night of the 5th of March 2005, and after dinner we had her cut her birthday cake. I could see that night that she was looking very tired. I felt a sense of pity and admiration looking at her that night. I asked her how was she feeling as she edged closer towards her labour. She replied in her usual good spirits,’I can’t wait to get this over with’.

The next day after Subuh she was bleeding. My brother in law took her to the hospital, and the doctor said she was beginning to come into labour. When I arrived at the hospital later that morning, she looked in agony. Man, that must have been the first time I saw my sister in such pain and agony, and she had not even gone to the labour room yet! I noticed that my mum and my sister’s mother-in-law were by her side, giving words of calm and encouragement. I have to say la, these 2 mothers were very calm. My brother-in-law on the other hand, looked understandably anxious and nervous.

Wonderfully, my sister wasn’t in labour for too long. As a matter of fact, it was a very short while. She went into the labour room at 11.45am, with very minimal contraction at that time. I was already contemplating spending the rest of the day at the hospital. By 12.30pm however, my brother-in-law appeared from the labour room with the new-born Hannah. Alhamdulillah... I’ve heard of stories where the mother goes through contraction for hours. Someone even told me that the average time of contraction for the first born child is about 12 hours. So to get it over with in less than an hour is a God gift.

I guess Hannah must have heard what my sister said the night before... :-).

Will try to get her pics on the blog next. Stay tuned!

Loser Test

Loser Test

I feel kind of a loser doing this test, but being in the office at 6.46pm waiting for my brother to finish work before I could go home, I just had nothing better to do. (Lots to do actually, but not gonna think about it now...)

So here's the result of my test. I'm kinda cool it seems. Really? It kinda make me kind of a loser as well, doesn't it? Hah... who cares.