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Monday, June 09, 2003

Of Faulty Toilets And Critical Moments

I was in a very critical situation today. The slightest movement that I made could have made the difference between disaster and safety. I was experienced however, the same situation had happened to me a number of times before. Therefore, I was patient, and I was calm. I knew the slightest mistake could make this entrapment into a bloody mess. I stood still without moving a muscle, and after what felt like forever, the water level in the toilet bowl with the automatic flush ebbed, just enough to allow me to make an escape before the predatory toilet would flush again.

I wonder how many others had had the same experience before? It is kinda sad when technology meant to make things easier for you could potentially make you a victim of faulty technology. The first time it happened to me, I wasn't too lucky. I was kinda naive back then, and when the water level rushed to the tip of the bowl, I panicked and moved too much (what anybody who is trying to put his pants on would do, even more so in such a critical moment). I ended up spending an extra 30 minutes or so washing up my feet and slippers from the incident. The second time it happened, my reaction was faster however. As the water level rushed up menacingly once again, thinking more of avoiding the 'excretes' of over 20-30 people on that floor sticking to my feet, I just ran out from the cubicle in my own natural state. Lucky for me, in that exact moment I made the escape, the toilet was empty. Had it not been, I guess I would have been remembered for eternity by people (and if I'm even more unfortunate, staffs of the future) on the floor for my commando appearance. Believe me, it's not really funny when it happens to you. You'll have to wait for at least 5 minutes, in the state that you are when water level had risen, before you could make any move. And that is if the toilet block is not so bad. The reason why I ran out the cubicle the second time was because I had been in there for more than 15 minutes, and I was ready to take the risk of my escape. Of course, I took my cue from the sounds of people coming in and out of the toilet.

Tips for anyone out there if you ever face the same predicament:
1. Stand up and stand still, and hold onto your belongings, pants etc. There is a sensor near the toilet bowl that would sense any movements before it flushes once again. Remember, any sort of movement is dangerous. Do not underestimate the tolet bowl sensor.
2. Be prepared for the inevitable, and rush out from the cubicle. Weigh your options. Listen for the movements in the toilet for your escape, and make sure you move swiftly (if you are not wearing anything especially) to the next cubicle before anyone comes in. Some practice from running around cones would be a useful exercise for this purpose.
3. If you are still in the cubicle, standing still waiting for the water to ebb, wait until the water has at least dropped to less than half of the bowl. Then do what you have to do, put on your pants, open the door and make for it. You would have one flush and a half to make your exit without getting stained with 'brownies'.

Good luck trying (though I hope you won't ever have to!). Indiana Jones would have been proud...