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Monday, July 18, 2005

Light At The End Of A Short Tunnel

Light At The End Of A Short Tunnel

It's another Monday morning, and up to this point at least, I'm glad to say that I'm not feeling as much blues as I usually do on this day. The experience of last week when i felt mostly like a zombie throughout the whole week had made me to reflect on my perception of myself, work, and life in general. And among other things, I've realised that perhaps the reason why I felt so lousy and bored at work last week was because I was beginning to feel too big or too good for the work I'm doing now. Bruce Lee once said, empty your cup, and it shall be filled. And with respect to this metaphore, I must have been like an overflowing cup last week. I wasn't feeling the excitement of what I'm doing anymore.

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Not today

To be fair to myself, I was feeling a bit burnt out as well. The drill of the accounts month end closing was pushing me to the edge, while at the same time, my colleague-from-hell never failed to drive me up the wall. I've reflected on my perception of her as well, and I felt perhaps I've been a bit harsh with the way I treated her. We had a blow-up two weeks ago, and in my frustration I said some things which I wish I hadn’t. She was very defensive mind you, and wasn’t willing to take any of my criticism without a fight. I think most people like her are like that. Granted, she has also successfully driven other people in the office up the wall too, and even my boss has begun to lash the whip a little bit when dealing with her. Again, I'm not saying that I will just live with her lackadaisical attitude, rather I'm not going to let it get to me as much. Life is too precious and too short to let some egg-headed person to mess with it.

The last couple of weeks have also seen my weight ballooning by quite a bit. I have to admit that when I'm going through a difficult time, I tend to resort to food. Sweet, greasy, and fatty food specifically. Perhaps it is my way of fulfilling myself when I don't feel as fulfilled with some other aspects of my life, serving like some sort of escapade for me. Some other people do it differently. Women are well known to resort to shopping , and I used to know a techy-nerd friend of mine who went on to buy himself a palm-cum-organiser when going through the same phase. Escapades such as these are meant to be temporary only. And in my case at least, it has been 4kgs too long. Yup, I've been the reincarnation of a hippo this last couple of weeks.

So today shall mark as yet another turning point for me. In fact, I believe that our lives are filled with turning points, only that some points are bigger and momentous than others. Momentous ones will be moments like graduating from university, grand achievements or recoveries that would shape your perception on a grand scale. Those happens rather far and few in between. But it is the smaller turning points like the revelation from my recent soul searching episode that usually sustains us on a more frequent basis, and reminds us to have our feet on the ground, when some distractions tend to get to our heads.

I am happy to say that my optimism is back. I feel once again ready to hold any bull by it's horns. Let's hope it's enough to help me shed a couple of kilos as well.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good for you my fren!!! happy to hear such positive words from u this monday morning! talk about shedding a few kilos...i m too on a diet now..hehehe..so..may the force be with us! amin...

Izwan said...

Hehe... it's good to know I've got a partner in crime to achieve the same target. May the force be with us indeed.. ;-)

I've just got back from an hour's session of jogging. 2 laps around the KLCC park seems more difficult by the day. Hope to see the reading on the weighing scale go south by a lil bit by end of this week. Hehe..

Anonymous said...

Hey, I'v gone jogging there too...(more walking thn jogging actually), after taking your advice the last time of course! Maybe on the next session, I will also go on a lookout for Izwan...hehehe...

Izwan said...

Hehe... glad to know someone's heeding my advice. Walking indeed is a good exercise, even better than jogging really, as it reduces strains on your limbs usually brought about from jogging.

Do say hello if we happen to bump into each other. That would be cool.. ;-)