Keeping The 'Smiths' At Bay

I don't intend to lose the fight just yet...

Of late, I have been the feeling like I'm playing the character of Neo played by Keanu Reeves in the classic cult film trilogy of The Matrix, squaring off with hundreds and thousands of multiplying Agent Smiths, feeling like I'm constantly on the verge of losing the fight. For those who are not too familiar with the Matrix movies to make sense of the metaphor I'm trying to make, here's another one. Imagine a clown performing a juggling act who constantly gets thrown more and more juggling items, bigger and heavier, every now and then that after some time you have that feeling that the clown will eventually drop something to the ground, resulting a big mess all over the place.

In short, I have been feeling totally overwhelmed of late by the frantic pace of stuffs and events that have come my way, mostly finding their roots from the office. If there's anything I've come to reflect more than any other of late, it's about whether all this frantic chase of deadlines and incessant pressures are all worth it. What's the carrot for all this trouble anyway? An overdue promotion with measly pay raise, and with more hard work to top it off? And to rub salt to the injury, they make it bloody difficult for you to pass the assessment for the promotion to begin with.

I feel like the lagging rat in the brutal rat race that I have no chance of winning, with a whip lasher constantly lashing its whip behind me to run faster and further. And to be honest, I am beginning to feel more and more certain by the day that I do not want to continue the race anymore. I feel like taking the leap out and finally do what I really want to do, although the problem is at the moment it is not yet very clear to me how I can do that whilst at the same time bring in the dough for my family.

So in the mean time, until I can learn to fly like Neo in The Matrix, or find a portal somewhere where I can transport myself to another world that offers me a better life, I just have to keep fighting and keep all the Agent Smiths at bay.