Google
 

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

A Frustration Vented

A Frustration Vented

Warning: Long, irrational bitching session ahead!

Much has been written about working with difficult people in an organisation. And perhaps just as much has been written about working with incompetent and stupid people. But if anyone out there knows a guide or anyone who can help me to work with a person who is stupid, incompetent, difficult, and too proud to work with despite her stupidity, please oh please tell me about it, because I feel like I’m really getting close to my wits end having to do so for close to a year now.

My colleague from hell is not showing any signs that she’ll be going back there anytime soon, and continuously causes mayhem in the workplace. Even after being here for more than a year, I wonder if she even knows what she’s supposed to do in the bigger scheme of things. In meetings, she will babble about things which never happens, and will claim to have done things that she never did. And in the process, she has continued to mislead the boss that the ship is in order and everything is fine and dandy. If my work wasn’t so closely related to hers, it would have been easier to close one eye and let her burn herself once the fire she’s causing burns out of control. But it’s just unfortunate that my work very much depends on the integrity of her work. I churn out the company’s performance reporting based on the numbers that she provides. And regularly over the last few months, I’ve been handed out rubbish for my reporting, which has caused further outrage by the boss and those departments whom performance I’m reporting for. And being the point of production of the official numbers, I feel like an anal passage suffering from a serious constipation, having to deal with all the rubbishes thrown at me within the limited time I have to produce the reports, while at the same time, getting the crap from the boss and line departments for being late and producing unreliable numbers.

My motivation has fluctuated violently. I feel like I need to cover for her for the good of the company while at the same time, just let her carry on the show, and allow her to expose her incompetence and stupidity for everyone to see once the skeletons burst out of the overloaded closet. Chances are if I chose the latter, I might get burnt too. ‘Why didn’t you alert her Izwan? You should have known better, having been around longer!’. The truth is I HAVE, but was anyone listening??!! And chances are when shit does happen, I’m gonna get some of the crap too. That’s justice for you.

How can people be so stupid and stuborn at the same time? How? I feel like quitting this company this instant just to stop having to work with her. She’s in her mid-30s and a spinster too, and at the rate she’s going, I do not see your status improving anytime soon gal. Only a doormat could withstand a stubborn no-brainer like you.

I feel better now… the wonder verbal dissentries could do to you.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

A Tribute To Women

A Tribute To Women

Have you ever experienced moments when suddenly a familiar song pops in your head and just keeps playing over and over again that you finally find yourself humming the tune? It sort of generates from the mood you're feeling at the time. For instance, when I woke up on the day of my job assessment interview, the orchestra in my head started playing Wagner's Flight of The Valkyries.

I have to admit I've been feeling a bit sentimental of late. Just the other day, I saw a woman in an advanced stage of pregnancy walked out of the turnstile at the office lobby. My attention was caught by her pale features, and lethargy of being pregnant. But I couldn't help but notice the loving eyes of a mother to be in her eyes. And suddenly, I was reminded of my own wife, and the memories of the moments she went through when she was pregnant of our daughter. The morning sickness, the backaches, and the sleepless nights, just to name a few. And the strength and courage that she gathered when giving birth to her. The live-or-die experience. And suddenly, I felt warm tears welling in my eyes. It's a sacrifice that every mother puts herself through to bring a life into this world.

Here's to 3 of the most significant women in my life.

I love you mom.

I love you my dear wife.

I love you sis.

This song is for all the women out there.

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

(Tip to listen to the song: Click pause at the page default music widget at the right bottom of the side bar before clicking on play on the above widget to avoid the 2 music overlapping. TQ!)

Woman - John Lennon

Woman I can hardly express
My mixed emotions at my thoughtlessness
After all I'm forever in your debt
And woman I will try to express
My inner feelings and thankfulness
For showing me the meaning of success

Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

Woman I know you understand
The little child inside of the man
Please remember my life is in your hands
And woman hold me close to your heart
However distant don't keep us apart
After all it is written in the stars

Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Well

Woman please let me explain
I never meant to cause you sorrow or pain
So let me tell you again and again and again

I love you, yeah, yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah, yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah, yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah, yeah

Monday, February 13, 2006

The Weekend That Was

The Weekend That Was

The weekend flew by faster than you could say Dodgeball, and before you knew it, it’s Monday again. Life as a parent does help to shorten the weekend somehow, what with the weekend now mostly spent entertaining the little one. Spent Saturday in the office though, trying to finalise a report my boss dissected and butchered so badly that the reconstruction of it took 3 days and a lot of my depleting brain resources to do. But as usual, it’s the boss’s funny way of making me learn stuffs a quality executive should have, which is what he is. I’m not complaining really. I guess I should realise I have light years ahead of me before I could become as good as him.

Sunday was better spent however, and I really mean spent. My wife and I took Insyirah for shopping at One Utama. Insyirah has finally outgrown the current car seat that she’s using, which is really Hannah’s which she in turn had outgrown earlier. And additionally, we were also looking for an alternative pushchair for Insyirah, as her current one is a rather too big for us to bring along on long distance travels. It seems that the Matrix’s boot space is not as big as I’d like it to be, and the current pushchair that we have is a Mercedes equivalent of its kind; big, filled with gadgetaries, and probably the most comfortable pushchair a baby could be placed in. But the only problem is that it takes the whole of my car boot space away.

So we set out on our shopping expedition early in the morning. Well, around 10ish to be exact, to avoid the traffic congestion madness that usually occurs when you’re trying to park at One Utama. Having a baby in tow, such crawl in traffic is best avoided, and with Insyirah having no tolerance being stuck in traffic, it’s not really an option. The little girl has a tendency to scream impatiently when the car stops on the road, even when I’m stopping for the red lights. My father-in-law once joked that perhaps she should marry a royalty one day and drive around with a police escorted entourage, and drive through traffic without having to stop. Hmmm... now that’s a thought.

We went to a couple of stores that sold baby products, and in the end decided given our product spec and budget, Jusco still provided best value for money. It’s just like shopping for a car really. Some people might give more weight to posh or snob value, and would settle for nothing less than a Beemer or Merc. Baby products wise, the equivalent would be Maclaren or Preggo. Then there are those who are Honda or Toyota loyalists. Here the comparable would be Chicco, or maybe Graco. In my case, as always, I go for maximum value for the minimum expenses.. hehe... so if you’re anything like me, Jusco usually provides value for money. Sweet Cherry is to baby products what Naza / Inokom is to the Malaysian car market. The products are reliable and good, but some are still tempted to replace the Inokom badge on the car with its foreign made cousin’s name Hyundai. You get the drift...

The choice of the pushchair was rather straightforward. Since this was just going to be a complementary pushchair to the current one we have, I opted for the cheapest yet comfortable one there was. The car seat I wasn’t too sure of though. The choices available were aplenty. But in the end one caught my eye. The salesgirl told me if I waited for another month, the car seat could go for a 20% discount. Hmmm… discount. My calculative mind started calculating the saving I could make. RM60… not bad. That’s a week worth of lunching. Hehe... but the moment we placed Insyirah in the seat for her to try it out, I just melted seeing how much she enjoyed sitting in it. She was waving and kicking her legs about, smiling in delight at all of us. Having seen that smile of hers, how could I deny her the pleasure? So in one of my rarest moments, the accountant in me gave in to a little child’s show of innocent delight, and we got the car seat anyway. So you see what a child’s gestures could do to your better sense of judgement. Hehe... well, suffice to say it was all worth it.

Praying for a good week ahead.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

The Blues

The Blues

I am still feeling the blues after the long one week holiday. Work started yesterday, and I felt like a zombie being dragged by a sports car. My boss had a big presentation to do yesterday, so I was pushed to do a lot of findings yesterday. What made it worse was that the presentation was pushed early from late afternoon to morning, so boss was getting a bit panicky, and as a result yours truly got panicky also. Lucky it went well, but as a result the zombie was left in bits and pieces by the experience.

So today is another day. The blues is not so bad, but still there nevertheless. I am still searching for the inspiration that made me enjoy my work so much in the past. Hmmm.... I wonder where it's gone to now...

Saturday, February 04, 2006

The Two Cousins

The Two Cousins

I was at home lazing around today, having travelled from Ipoh yesterday. It's usually like that. I get the 'jet-lag' effect whenever I've travelled for anything longer than an hour. Was playing around with my camcorder today, taking videos of my daughter Insyirah and my niece Hannah. Boy I missed Hannah. Having not seen her for almost a week while away in Ipoh, it was a delight to see her again today. The girl could walk a few steps already! Boy, what a difference a week makes. It's no surprise really, babies do learn new things fast. Insyirah herself has managed to steady herself in a sitting position over the last week.

The sight of the two cousins frolicking around was a joy to watch. Obviously they missed each other over the last week. Insyirah was screaming in delight when she saw Hannah, and it melts my heart to see the two of them babbling in baby talk to each other. I can foresee these two growing up to be really close friends in the future.

Aren't they lovely?

20050410-4.jpg

20050410-4.jpg

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

The Cycle of Life

The Cycle of Life

Inevitably, after an incredible lack of updates lasting almost half a year, so many things and events have taken place within that time. Perhaps arguably, I could say that could have been one of the main reasons why I've not managed an update for so long; too many things to tell and talk about, that I had prefered to just bask in it rather than trouble myself typing them on a computer. Or perhaps I need a laptop, with a Streamyx internet connection, where I could just log on to the blogger site in a matter of seconds, where I wouldn't get bored out of my mind having to wait for our super slow home PC to dial-up to the internet, and just lose interest the moment I've got myself logged on. Perhaps... but let's not digress too far here.

So what's happened since July last year? Well, there have been the highs and the lows. Births, deaths, marriages, promotion, and the English Premier League to name a few of that matters to me. But really, the main highlights of last year really centred on these 2 following themes; birth and death.

A few weeks after my last entry, my wife and I were blessed with a healthy, cute baby girl. The arrival of the little one has brought a lot of change to my perspective of life. The whole makeup of my marriage has been given an added spice and joy with her arrival. We've named the little one Nuha Insyirah, which in Arabic means the "calm intelligent one". Her first 2 months were anything but calm however, where she would wake up often in the middle of the night crying, which we suspect was due to colic. Wanting to be the exemplary father and husband, I would often stay up until very late to put the baby to sleep. But sleep deprivation is really not something I could live with, and I was no different from a character from House of The Dead when at work the day after. Needless to say my wife has since taken over the night shift full time, and I've now reduced myself to more minor role of the ocassional diaper change. Well, at least I could claim that I've changed my kid's nappy.

My little girl is now almost 6 months old. Here I have some latest pics of her over the last couple of months.

20050410-4.jpg
Insyirah yesterday. In the car on the way to Jitra.

20050410-4.jpg
Boy she loves to travel...

20050410-4.jpg
With her "Tok Neena". When she bites her lips like that, she resembles a picture of her mother so much when my wife was her age.


The last couple of months also witnessed the passing of some important people in my life. Two uncles of mine passed away in September and October respectively, of which one of them I was particularly close to, and was even my family's spokesperson at my wedding over a year ago. He died from a heart attack. It was so sudden that it took a while for the fact to sink in with me. It made me to reflect that when the Angel of Death comes knocking, there's no postponing him.

And then most significantly, my beloved grandmother passed away recently on the 18th January this year. Remember her? Who offered me this advice of wisdom of hers? I will always be haunted by the last thing she said to me before she went away. It was a couple of days before the day she died, and she was still strong enough to move about on her bed and chatted with me. She was complaining that her back was aching, and she was feeling most uncomfortable lying down on the rubber-air mat that we got her. She had been ill for over a month by that time you see, and we had to get her a special rubber-air mat for her to lie on so that she won't get blisters on her back.

I helped her to move her body to the spot she felt most comfortable. She asked me to push her hair back, and unbuttoned the top button of her blouse, as she felt it was choking her. Even when unwell, she always wanted to wear her nicest dress. She's that kind of person. She takes pride of her appearance.

I stroked her hair, and touched her forehead. When I told her I was going out, she reminded me after a brief pause,

"Come and see me when you get back dear".

I just nodded obligingly, not quite realising the significance of that request, that it was to be her last from me. I did come back to see her that night, but she was already asleep. And she pretty much slept most of the time until her last breath on the 18th. I can be happy with the fact that I was at least by her side when she breathe her last. In fact, my whole family was there at that time, Subhanallah. I was reciting the Yasin by her side, while my wife was whispering the Syahadah to her ear. By grace of Allah, she almost breath her last after I'd finished reading the Yasin once, just before I was about to read it for the second time.

Mak Tok, Pakcik Mat, and Pak Long. May Allah's grace be with you in the hereafter, and Insya-Allah may we meet again in His blessings one day.

20050410-4.jpg
My beloved late grandmother, with Insyirah. You'll always be loved, and missed grandma.