The Cycle of Life

The Cycle of Life

Inevitably, after an incredible lack of updates lasting almost half a year, so many things and events have taken place within that time. Perhaps arguably, I could say that could have been one of the main reasons why I've not managed an update for so long; too many things to tell and talk about, that I had prefered to just bask in it rather than trouble myself typing them on a computer. Or perhaps I need a laptop, with a Streamyx internet connection, where I could just log on to the blogger site in a matter of seconds, where I wouldn't get bored out of my mind having to wait for our super slow home PC to dial-up to the internet, and just lose interest the moment I've got myself logged on. Perhaps... but let's not digress too far here.

So what's happened since July last year? Well, there have been the highs and the lows. Births, deaths, marriages, promotion, and the English Premier League to name a few of that matters to me. But really, the main highlights of last year really centred on these 2 following themes; birth and death.

A few weeks after my last entry, my wife and I were blessed with a healthy, cute baby girl. The arrival of the little one has brought a lot of change to my perspective of life. The whole makeup of my marriage has been given an added spice and joy with her arrival. We've named the little one Nuha Insyirah, which in Arabic means the "calm intelligent one". Her first 2 months were anything but calm however, where she would wake up often in the middle of the night crying, which we suspect was due to colic. Wanting to be the exemplary father and husband, I would often stay up until very late to put the baby to sleep. But sleep deprivation is really not something I could live with, and I was no different from a character from House of The Dead when at work the day after. Needless to say my wife has since taken over the night shift full time, and I've now reduced myself to more minor role of the ocassional diaper change. Well, at least I could claim that I've changed my kid's nappy.

My little girl is now almost 6 months old. Here I have some latest pics of her over the last couple of months.


Insyirah yesterday. In the car on the way to Jitra.


Boy she loves to travel...


With her "Tok Neena". When she bites her lips like that, she resembles a picture of her mother so much when my wife was her age.


The last couple of months also witnessed the passing of some important people in my life. Two uncles of mine passed away in September and October respectively, of which one of them I was particularly close to, and was even my family's spokesperson at my wedding over a year ago. He died from a heart attack. It was so sudden that it took a while for the fact to sink in with me. It made me to reflect that when the Angel of Death comes knocking, there's no postponing him.

And then most significantly, my beloved grandmother passed away recently on the 18th January this year. Remember her? Who offered me this advice of wisdom of hers? I will always be haunted by the last thing she said to me before she went away. It was a couple of days before the day she died, and she was still strong enough to move about on her bed and chatted with me. She was complaining that her back was aching, and she was feeling most uncomfortable lying down on the rubber-air mat that we got her. She had been ill for over a month by that time you see, and we had to get her a special rubber-air mat for her to lie on so that she won't get blisters on her back.

I helped her to move her body to the spot she felt most comfortable. She asked me to push her hair back, and unbuttoned the top button of her blouse, as she felt it was choking her. Even when unwell, she always wanted to wear her nicest dress. She's that kind of person. She takes pride of her appearance.

I stroked her hair, and touched her forehead. When I told her I was going out, she reminded me after a brief pause,

"Come and see me when you get back dear".

I just nodded obligingly, not quite realising the significance of that request, that it was to be her last from me. I did come back to see her that night, but she was already asleep. And she pretty much slept most of the time until her last breath on the 18th. I can be happy with the fact that I was at least by her side when she breathe her last. In fact, my whole family was there at that time, Subhanallah. I was reciting the Yasin by her side, while my wife was whispering the Syahadah to her ear. By grace of Allah, she almost breath her last after I'd finished reading the Yasin once, just before I was about to read it for the second time.

Mak Tok, Pakcik Mat, and Pak Long. May Allah's grace be with you in the hereafter, and Insya-Allah may we meet again in His blessings one day.


My beloved late grandmother, with Insyirah. You'll always be loved, and missed grandma.