Letting Go...

I just have to accept that what i expect will not happen, and then maybe it will be easier for me to be at peace with what's going on. Maybe then there will not be too much resistance, and less tension. 

But..

Maybe then we'll just drift apart and diverge in our own ways... Lost in our own paths that brings our own personal comfort and complacency. Just like the universe itself which keeps expanding itself, it seems like the natural order of things to drift apart and diverge from the original point of emergence. Sometimes the force of divergence is too strong and so varied in its form, just holding on can be such a stressful and painful experience. At times, such as now, i do not know whether i should care. 

Maybe i just have too many ideals. And my ideals are just not acceptable to some. Maybe people find them bothersome. The suggestion to accept my ideals becomes like an intrusion, a question of the validity of one's own ideals. People get defensive. They fight back. They become contemptuos. Hence, what started as an attempt in sharing ideals for the common good instead becomes a game of contempt, bad faith, anger and frustration.

The last straw will be the lost of hope and faith. As it is now, it feels like the last straw may have been nudged enough to fall loose with the slightest of pull next.

Maybe i just have to accept the inevitable. Maybe then i will be at peace again and be able reconstruct my spirits to be strong and independent again. Maybe then the hurt will go, or at least not as intense.

Maybe...