Ramadhan Is Here Once Again

Ramadhan Is Here Once Again

Today marks the first day of the holy month of Ramadhan, which to most people, well at least to Malaysians, is more commonly called as the fasting month. "Bulan puasa" as most Malaysians would fondly call it. I'm not sure if it's unique only in Malaysia, the month of Ramadhan would also see the mushrooming of evening markets, or Ramadhan markets as we call it, where you can find varieties of food and delicacies for the breaking of fast. I'm telling you, being at the Ramadhan market with a hungry tummy can be quite hazardous to your health, physically and financially. Which is why I think it is important for Muslims to remember that Ramadhan is not just about the fasting, but it is also about controlling your wants and desires. It's a time for curing and enriching of the soul. It's a time to renew the vow that we've made on new year's eve to become a better person.

Anyhow, I'll leave the preaching to someone else more qualified to do that. I just felt like since I'm talking about the holy month, it is necessary for me to talk about the gist and its significance in summary. The words above apply to me more than anyone else, anyway...

Every Ramadhan, I can't help getting nostalgic and reminisce about the Ramadhans of the past. Here are 2 of the Ramadhans that plays in my memory the most:

1985

I was 8. My family and I spent a good 3 weeks of the fasting month that year in Pittsburgh, USA as my father was attending a 3 months course there. I only managed to fast for a day while I was there. It was tough, as it was the summer season at the time. Breaking fast was close to 9pm, and my brother who was 5 was a lil devil in disguise and kept tempting me with food and snacks that he was having, since he was deemed too young to fast. I managed to convince my parents that perhaps I was too, and didn't fast the next day. Then I became a lil devil myself and tempted my older sister's perseverance in turn. She managed 3 more days than I did.

1995

I was 18, and I was studying my A-Levels in an English public school in Oxford, UK. It was my first Ramadhan without the company of my family. And even more significant, it was my first experience of Ramadhan where Muslims were a minority. There were only 4 of us Muslims in that school. The first few days were a bit challenging, as I wasn't able to get proper food for sahur. Until my matron noticed this and informed the school kitchen to do something about it, after which I was having lamb chops almost every morning.

Ramadhan came about around winter time in those days, so we had it very easy. Breaking of fast came about around 4pm, so effectively we were fasting about 3 hours less, and in a much cooler climate. I remember when Ramadhan coincided with our term break, I would sometimes go back to sleep after Fajr prayers and wake up around 2 for Zuhur, and by the time I was fully awake around 4, it was time for breaking of fast. Those were the days...

Here's to a blessed Ramadhan to everyone.

I'm Back

I'm Back

"I can see clearly now the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way,
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) sunshiny day.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) sunshiny day."

I’m suddenly feeling a sense of contentment and peace. It is quite a change from what I had been experiencing over the last 2 months. I had been so overwhelmed by the stresses at work, a rather worrying financial situation, and not to mention the strain of studying for my remaining ACCA papers. All these factors combining into one big combo, I was beginning to wonder when would I ever reach the end of the tunnel. Perhaps now I finally have...

As described above, many things have happened in my life since my last posting. Things had picked up speed almost considerably I may say, more than what I was prepared for. If anything, the experiences in the last couple of months have taught me a number of things. Among others, I have to get myself in order to be well prepared for whatever challenges life throws at you. In my case, I guess I wasn’t. Upon reflection, I guess I’m still grappling with the reality and responsibilty of a husband and father, and subconsciously my mind is somehow still frozen to my bachelor days. I need to be more organised, more calm, and yeah, more responsible. These are the things I need to improve should I want to progress far in my life.

The other thing I’ve realised and learnt was that spiritually I had been heading towards the worse. Perhaps I had sensed that a long time even before recently, but I guess it only hit home on me now. I had been late in performing my prayers, I had not been reciting the Quran as frequently as I should, and I had not been trying to enrich my soul with knowledge and awareness of Islam. That perhaps led to my sense of aimlessness and hopelessness that I had been experiencing. I have to thank my wife for being the broken radio (in a good sense that is) who kept reminding me to perform my duties as a good Muslim and as someone who could set a good example to her and my little child. Thanx dear... I knew you would hold me up when my chips are down.

Now with the horizon seemingly clear and my natural zest returning, my spirit feels refreshed and everything feels possible. I feel like I can do almost anything. My morale is high, and what’s more I am feeling like a new car that’s come out of the assembly line, and now going through its tune up phase. In other words, I have this sense that things will only get better, Insya-Allah. After some moments of struggle in the arena, the toreador has finally managed to tame the bull.

Torro!! Torro!! ;-)