Has Anyone Found A Misplaced Soul?

Has Anyone Found A Misplaced Soul?

In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head,
In your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, dou, dou, dou, dou, dou...
- Zombie, Cranberries -

...because I feel like I have misplaced mine. For the last couple of weeks, I can’t help but feeling like a zombie, moving around not quite aimlessly, but without as much purpose and intent as I would like myself to be. I feel like I’ve been living this last couple of weeks with not so much drive and passion as I would normally be. And when I’ve lost the drive, my judgements tend to be poorer, and I tend to make more mistakes. I’m beginning to place less value on many things that I’m doing. I just feel like saying ‘f**k it’ to most things at the moment.

Been trying to analyse the situation. On the career front, work continues to be the serial-murderer it has always been. I have been doing accounts reconciliation work too much that I just feel like vomitting if I have to do it again. I have two more reports due by the 15th of this month. And to get myself to meet that deadlines is like trying to push a sleeping hippo to do it’s annual physical exercise. It feels like a task of gigantic proportion. How am I supposed to come up with reports when I don’t feel like doing them at the moment? I’m beginning to sense the creeping of a panic attack here. Help!

That looks so tempting...

I think I’m bored. Or maybe overworked. There are thousands of things I could think of doing rather than being in the office today. And top of my list would be to just lie down and sleep for as long as I want. To be in a place where no one will find me to ask about some reports or numbers that I’ve prepared for them. Where I won’t have to worry about job assessments. Where no one talks about work and deadlines. At the moment, even staring at a plain empty wall sounds attractive than being here.

I used to just eat more than I usually do whenever I feel this way. But after gaining almost 3 kilos in 2 weeks now, nothing else has improved apart from the weight. Dang… been stuffing on food suppossedly to have the chemicals to make you happy like chocolates and cakes of late. I’ve come to realise that’s probably not the right solution when my trousers suddenly became tighter than the belt I’m wearing.

Ok la.. let’s see if a cup of San Francisco’s Coffee mocha would do the trick. If that still doesn’t do it for me, maybe a long vacation is the answer. If only I have that many leaves left to take… boo hoo!