An Experience To Remember

An Experience To Remember

My wife and I have been attending ante-natal classes at the Damansara Specialist Hospital for the last 3 weeks. I have to say, the contents of the classes have been very useful, especially for first-born expectants like my wife and me. So far, we’ve learnt of what to expect during pregnancy (though this might come as a bit too late for us, considering my wife is now pretty close to the expected date of delivery), the right diet for the mother-to-be (this one too), arrangements that we should make when the baby is due, suitable physical and breathing exercises for the mother-to-be, and massage techniques for the husband to administer on wifey.

Last night’s lesson however, was arguably the most interesting todate.

We were given a show of the signs to look out for when labour is due. Signs like contractions, and the break of the water bag, and so forth. We were also shown a video of the stages of labour, from the moment the wife’s admitted to the hospital, to the moment when the baby is delivered and then subsequently the removal of the placenta. There are in fact 3 stages of labour. It begins with contractions, which will take place every 10-15 minutes, and the cervix will open up to 3cm. At this stage, the opening of the cervix will be at 1cm in every 1 hour. This is also when the water bag will burst.

The 2nd stage of labour is when the cervix will open up to 10cm. Contractions now become more regular at every 4-5 minutes. This is the stage when the baby will be delivered, and the mother would have to push as advised by the doctor. There’s a wide misconception that labour ends with the delivery of the baby when in fact it doesn’t. This stage is arguably the most excruciating one. Mothers-to-be are advised to try and relax at this stage and try to take their minds off the pain by trying to focus an imaginary target where they would focus their pushing. Some doctors even suggest reciting of prayers or poetry, or even focus on their husbands who would be standing by their side.

The 3rd stage takes place after the baby is safely delivered, and it’s when the placenta is removed, and the mid-wife claims “when the father no longer focuses his attention to the mother”. Tsskk…. So daddies to be out there, remember that all is not over yet after the baby’s out. The mother still needs your support emotionally and physically to push the placenta out. I shall take a mental note of that too come the day.

In short, my wife summarises the stages with the following:

1st stage: longer but less painful
2nd stage: shorter, but in terrible pain
3rd stage: shortest

Hehe...

The video show was a very useful visual exercise of what we should expect when the real moment of labour comes. It was also helpful in playing down the fears of some of us, who would be experiencing this miracle moment of child birth only for the first time. I’ve learnt to appreciate what all mothers would have to go through in bringing a life into this world. And that is not to mention the 9 months of sacrifice and discomfort that they would have to go through prior to that ultimate moment. And to think of, all we men had to do in contribution is making a small deposit on one night and just wait for the delivery after 9 months. We men do have the easy way out in the whole subject of procreation.

We were then took for a tour around the hospital to the labour and maternity wards. It felt like a privilege experience to be allowed into the labour ward. The place is closed to the general visitors to the hospital, and is only opened to women in the 3rd stage of labour and her next of kin, usually the husband. We were shown the room where the child birth process will take place.

This is when I made one of the most memorable volunteer of my life.

The mid-wife was showing us the arrangement of the labour ward on the day of labour, and we were having a simulation exercise of where everyone would be in the room on the big day. Understandably of course, I was keen to know where the father would be standing in the middle of all the excitement that day. So instinctively when the mid-wife asked who would like to volunteer, I said “I’ll do it” without even giving it a second thought.

The stunned reaction from the mid-wife to my spontaneous volunteer should have given me a hint of what was to come. I simply thought I was volunteering to stand where the husband would be standing on the day of labour, where I would be lending my hand and support to my wife. Instead I had volunteered to be ‘my wife’, and simulate the whole posture of being in labour. I was asked to lie down on the bed, spread my legs wide, and hold on to the railings in a comfortable position to push, and then simulated how the pushing is done.

I felt like the Ultimate Exhibit in front of the 10-odd couples who were there. I couldn’t quite see where my wife was as she was looking away, quite unable to control her laughter at my ordeal. I’m quite happy to say however I must have made quite a realistic exhibit, as I gave it my all when asked to push. Hehe… The bed was rather comfortable however, and at least I have had the first hand experience to tell my wife I’ve been there before. Hehe...

Wifey was still laughing heartily at the whole incident as we left the hospital last night. She said she might just be reminded of the whole thing again when she’s on the labour bed herself on the day of labour, and might just blurt out laughing again.

Well, hopefully I’d done enough to take some of her mind off the pain on that day with such a memory.