Finding The Fire

This last couple of days I have been a bit busy. Very, very preoccupied in fact. And strangely, only when I am under such circumstances would I actually function the best. To be fair, I need not get myself under this situation if only I had had the drive to get things done way before they are due. And again to be fair, it's not that I had not tried getting myself started, it's just that without the drive to do them, it was like trying to mow the grass of a football field with a pair of nail clippers. My brains would simply choose not to switch on when I set myself on the task. Only when the deadline is staring at me around the corner does my brain get cracking feverishly and does what it does best.

It kinda made me thinking when I get myself under such situations. If only I could get myself to be ahead of things, instead of getting to the finishing line neck to neck with the deadlines, I wonder where I would have gotten myself to by this time in my life? Would I have been a successful executive in some multinational company earning 5 figures, USD or GBP salary? Or would I have been a dynamic entrepeneur heading towards greatness in a multimillion dollar business? Or perhaps closer down to earth, maybe already a manager by this time in the company I'm currently working with? It did get me thinking.

I have somehow been observing those few people in my company who are heading towards greatness, and not that much older than me. The difference between them and myself is that they somehow have that extra, that fire in the gut that drives them to do what they know they can do best, and then do it superbly. They are always in a state of preparedness, their swords already sharpened, eveready for any challenges that come their way. Even better, they even get themselves a step ahead of the others and their superior. A very good thing to do if you intend to get the boss's attention, and hence an assured path towards a fast track promotion.

I do not intend to blow my horn, but I do feel that when it comes to the matter of grey matter power, I do not feel in any way inferior to these high flying people. Brain for brain, I believe I do stand a chance. But whilst these people have their swords ready in their sheath come morning of the big battle, that is when you will see me taking out the swords for sharpening. Because I am simple too lazy to do it the night before. Or because I find it difficult to give a damn about things like getting yourself ready until it's too late. Because I feel that somehow all things will work out ok by themselves.

If only I cared to do research on a particular paper my boss is asking me to do weeks ago instead of frantically doing so over 2 days in the office. If only I cared to do my revision for my ACCA exams like even 1 week early instead of going through the contents of my text book yesterday to find out what the syllabus is about. If only I cared enough about everything I do to be ahead of everyone.

If only I can find the fire...

Time to hit the books again. ACCA exams' next Tuesday.