The Comeback

The Comeback

It's been a long while since I had anything up here. Suddenly I just lost any desire to do any update. I just can't explain it. It is as mysterious as the disappearance of the Angkor Watt civilisations in the past. Oh yeah, I have had a lot of stories to tell, perhaps more so than I've ever had before. I guess I just came to a point where I felt the whole idea of blogging, or at least the way I do my blogging, had lost its allure, or maybe, I just failed to see the point of blogging anymore.

Reflecting on it, I realised that perhaps I had become too concsious of the things I was blogging about. "Is this interesting enough?", or "would people be able to relate to this?", or "am i putting up things interesting enough as the other blogger?". These questions began to play in my mind a lot whenever I wanted to blog. I had become too contemplative, and as a result, bored myself from the business of blogging.

I told a fellow blogger and a friend about the above problem I had. And she simply said that perhaps I shouldn't write for others to read, but write for the only simple pleasure of writing. But really, how does one get pleasure from doing something if he does not know what or for whom he is doing it for? Where do writers/novelists get their drive from? How does JK Rowling keeps coming up with captivating fantasies in her Harry Potter novels? And Stephen King? Where does he keep coming up with stories that scares people out of their wits all the time?

I'm not saying that I aspire my blog to have effects such as these illustrious writers. The point I'm driving home is that when we dish out something for the public to consume on, it should at least be interesting enough for anyone to give a damn about. Otherwise, it feels like an unimpressive street performer with nothing more than a hat with some measly change from those who pity him enough for his effort.

Perhaps I'm taking this whole idea of blogging too seriously. Perhaps I'm looking at it too much as a commercial idea rather than an avenue for personal rambling. Perhaps I tend to search for a point in everything I do, even down to stuffs like blogging where it is not perceived to be too serious a business. I guess it's down to the dayjob that I do. I'm an accountant you see, and ideas like substance over form, accountability, and true and fair view are too ingrained in my thinking. Maybe...

I have so many things to tell. But at the same time, I feel the interesting ones are those which I can't bring myself to publish on these pages. I would love to write scandalous or juicy stories like the Datin can, or like the Sarong Party girl, where their account of lives living on the edge warrants enough interest for people to give a damn about.

Yeah, I do have stories to share here. But we'll see whether there'll be enough to sustain anyone's interest. Enough to make me write regularly at least.