This last couple of days I have been a bit busy. Very, very preoccupied in fact. And strangely, only when I am under such circumstances would I actually function the best. To be fair, I need not get myself under this situation if only I had had the drive to get things done way before they are due. And again to be fair, it's not that I had not tried getting myself started, it's just that without the drive to do them, it was like trying to mow the grass of a football field with a pair of nail clippers. My brains would simply choose not to switch on when I set myself on the task. Only when the deadline is staring at me around the corner does my brain get cracking feverishly and does what it does best.
It kinda made me thinking when I get myself under such situations. If only I could get myself to be ahead of things, instead of getting to the finishing line neck to neck with the deadlines, I wonder where I would have gotten myself to by this time in my life? Would I have been a successful executive in some multinational company earning 5 figures, USD or GBP salary? Or would I have been a dynamic entrepeneur heading towards greatness in a multimillion dollar business? Or perhaps closer down to earth, maybe already a manager by this time in the company I'm currently working with? It did get me thinking.
I have somehow been observing those few people in my company who are heading towards greatness, and not that much older than me. The difference between them and myself is that they somehow have that extra, that fire in the gut that drives them to do what they know they can do best, and then do it superbly. They are always in a state of preparedness, their swords already sharpened, eveready for any challenges that come their way. Even better, they even get themselves a step ahead of the others and their superior. A very good thing to do if you intend to get the boss's attention, and hence an assured path towards a fast track promotion.
I do not intend to blow my horn, but I do feel that when it comes to the matter of grey matter power, I do not feel in any way inferior to these high flying people. Brain for brain, I believe I do stand a chance. But whilst these people have their swords ready in their sheath come morning of the big battle, that is when you will see me taking out the swords for sharpening. Because I am simple too lazy to do it the night before. Or because I find it difficult to give a damn about things like getting yourself ready until it's too late. Because I feel that somehow all things will work out ok by themselves.
If only I cared to do research on a particular paper my boss is asking me to do weeks ago instead of frantically doing so over 2 days in the office. If only I cared to do my revision for my ACCA exams like even 1 week early instead of going through the contents of my text book yesterday to find out what the syllabus is about. If only I cared enough about everything I do to be ahead of everyone.
If only I can find the fire...
Time to hit the books again. ACCA exams' next Tuesday.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
A Long Weekend
It is very late at night now, 12.24am of Monday morning to be exact. I should be in bed by now, after having gone through a rather long and eventful weekend. The pace of the weekend was rather frantic and before I knew it, it is now already very late of Sunday night (or rather, very early of Monday morning!)I guess my mind is still in tune with the frantic pace all weekend and am finding it difficult to switch off just like that even though my body feels so tired that it aches all over.
Had a mini gathering of friends and families today over at my house. Maybe you can call it an open house, this weekend being the last weekend of Syawal. The event might not have been the same proportion of the Prime Minister's open house, but the work required and the energy spent on it felt as though it was. It was a good time to play catch up with some friends whom I've not met for so long. Some friends whom used to be very close with me. As much as some people choose not to believe it, relationships with friends do change after you get married. You can't just simply hang out with your old pals anymore. There are commitments that you have to attend to. Priorities change as families grow. And friendships will naturally require a new paradigm.
Two good friends of mine turned up today. It had been a long while since I last got together with either one of them. Both are now married with a child each. One is a guy who had been my housemate when I was studying for my degree in London UK, and the other is a childhood friend dating back from my primary school days. It was fun meeting up with them again, more so now that our lives are now evolved over things that are very different from the days when we were younger. We are now married and parents to our respective beloved child.
The presence of my ex-housemate was probably the toast of the day for me. I guess with the commitment of work and families, we have not been able to be in touch as we should have. Perhaps I only have myself to blame. I know I am lousy at keeping in touch, and without friends like this guy in this world I would probably be friendless. Conversations between us have been few and far in between for the last two years, and I suspect perhaps I've offended him and his wife somehow. Having him over today has made me to realise that friendships like this are well worth preserving. It would be a shame if such a good thing gets destroyed by a little misunderstanding or perception.
The other friend of mine is no other than the famous Sarini who used to be an avid blogger, who has now chosen to stay in the blogging wilderness. Rumors has it that she's still writing, but oh well, having her over at my place was good enough for me to play catch up with her. Her daughter Hana has grown up to be a beautiful girl and I felt so moved when I finally got to see Hana again. Heard so much about her from Sarini and I felt that she looked more beautiful than I had imagined. Uncle Izwan is very pleased to have you and your parents over.
Geee... it is close to 1 am already, and I can still feel words and ideas flowing out of my head like water running out of a tap. But I know I have to sleep soon nevertheless. I have so much to achieve at work this week, so many deadlines waiting to be met. What's worse than having to go to work on a Monday after a very long and tiring weekend with very little sleep on Sunday night, is having so much to achieve on that Monday after a very long and tiring weekend with very little sleep on Sunday night. I hope I won't regret this extra hour I've spent blogging instead of going to bed early tomorrow.
I already have a feeling that I will...
Had a mini gathering of friends and families today over at my house. Maybe you can call it an open house, this weekend being the last weekend of Syawal. The event might not have been the same proportion of the Prime Minister's open house, but the work required and the energy spent on it felt as though it was. It was a good time to play catch up with some friends whom I've not met for so long. Some friends whom used to be very close with me. As much as some people choose not to believe it, relationships with friends do change after you get married. You can't just simply hang out with your old pals anymore. There are commitments that you have to attend to. Priorities change as families grow. And friendships will naturally require a new paradigm.
Two good friends of mine turned up today. It had been a long while since I last got together with either one of them. Both are now married with a child each. One is a guy who had been my housemate when I was studying for my degree in London UK, and the other is a childhood friend dating back from my primary school days. It was fun meeting up with them again, more so now that our lives are now evolved over things that are very different from the days when we were younger. We are now married and parents to our respective beloved child.
The presence of my ex-housemate was probably the toast of the day for me. I guess with the commitment of work and families, we have not been able to be in touch as we should have. Perhaps I only have myself to blame. I know I am lousy at keeping in touch, and without friends like this guy in this world I would probably be friendless. Conversations between us have been few and far in between for the last two years, and I suspect perhaps I've offended him and his wife somehow. Having him over today has made me to realise that friendships like this are well worth preserving. It would be a shame if such a good thing gets destroyed by a little misunderstanding or perception.
The other friend of mine is no other than the famous Sarini who used to be an avid blogger, who has now chosen to stay in the blogging wilderness. Rumors has it that she's still writing, but oh well, having her over at my place was good enough for me to play catch up with her. Her daughter Hana has grown up to be a beautiful girl and I felt so moved when I finally got to see Hana again. Heard so much about her from Sarini and I felt that she looked more beautiful than I had imagined. Uncle Izwan is very pleased to have you and your parents over.
Geee... it is close to 1 am already, and I can still feel words and ideas flowing out of my head like water running out of a tap. But I know I have to sleep soon nevertheless. I have so much to achieve at work this week, so many deadlines waiting to be met. What's worse than having to go to work on a Monday after a very long and tiring weekend with very little sleep on Sunday night, is having so much to achieve on that Monday after a very long and tiring weekend with very little sleep on Sunday night. I hope I won't regret this extra hour I've spent blogging instead of going to bed early tomorrow.
I already have a feeling that I will...
Sunday, November 19, 2006
The Visit to The Dentist
I went to visit the dentist last Wednesday. It was no easy feat for me, considering the phobia that I have about meeting dentists. It was my first visit in 3 years, and the last visit was made more out of necessity rather than routine as I had a severe tooth ache that I couldn’t bear any longer and in pain and desperation I somehow got over the phobia temporarily and braced myself to see the doctor with the perpetual image of a drill in his hand. But the visit 3 years ago also taught me that my fear to visit the dentist could have had a serious consequence.
Now, open wide...
I had had the ache to my premolar tooth (one of the smaller gigi geraham... heck, I had to Google it up know what the particular tooth is called in English) since my university days and due to my perceived irrational fear to see the dentist, I had chosen to live with the pain rather than brave myself to get on the dentist’s chair. You see, my phobia for the dentist is not something which I was born with, or something that I had acquired from my visits to the dentist in my childhood days. Rather, my phobia started after a visit I made to the dentist when I was in the UK during my A-Level studying days. The same tooth (before the ache began) had cracked again, and the earlier filling in the tooth had come out leaving a big cavity. I decided to visit the dentist and get a new filling with no hesitation back then. But the way the dentist administered the filling back then left a long lasting effect on me that I still shiver whenever I recounted the story.
First of all, he injected some sort of anasthetic into my gum, supposedly so that I won’t feel any pain from the procedure. Fine, I thought. This is nothing new. The anasthetic later had the effect of temporarily paralysing half of my face for half a day that I didn’t look too much different from Quasimodo from Hunchback of Notre Dame. The worst part actually came when the tooth drilling started in earnest, and guess what, it was bloody painful! I tried not to show any agitation at first, trying to preserve my male masochism the best I can. But it came to a point when I felt like the drilling actually hit a NERVE in my gum that I reactively screamed in pain. I can’t recall what the dentist said or reacted to my agony at the time as I was too absorbed by the pain. To make matters worse, all this happened about 3 days before my A-Levels exams. It had a traumatic effect on me, and the whole episode was enough to give me a life long phobia of the dentist.
A case of bad anasthetic...
My phobia however almost had a serious consequence. The filling done by the dentist who scared me to life unfortunately came off after only 2 more years, and this time I was understandably too hesitant to do anything about it. I decided to leave the cavity uncapped, to the detriment of the tooth and gum. It was getting increasingly painful whenever I accidentaly chomped my food with that particular tooth. My gum in that particular area had bled frequently and it was beginning to excrete puss. My breath was getting foul by the day, and I then decided enough was enough. I gathered my courage and braced myself for a dental visit 3 years ago. My tooth managed to be saved, just barely. The dentist said it was almost too late when I finally decided to do something about it, and he thought at first that the tooth had to be extracted. He performed a root canal treatment on it, and I was left with a lesson that such fears, irrational or rational it may be, needs to be conquered if I were to avoid getting myself into such a situation again.
Which brought me to my first visit to the dentist in 3 years yesterday.
The visit this time was more due to routine however. I know the common advice for a regular dentist visit should be done once every 6 months, and believe me I have been psyching myself to do that all the time. But time and time again I would find a convenient excuse not to go. The visit this time was triggered by my wife who had a minor complaint about an ache to her premolar tooth as well. So we went...
"Argghh... doctor, that is not the right tooth!" One of the common fears for those suffering from dental phobia
Getting seated on the dentist’s chair never fails to get my heart racing. Good thing the dentist didn’t find anything wrong with my teeth to warrant any serious procedure, so I was just up for scaling. It had been a long while since I had scaling of my teeth anyway.
There was an interesting fact that I learnt from the visit. The dentist took a quick look at my teeth and asked if I was a smoker. The question took me by surprise because I do not smoke. She said my teeth were stained, which is usually brought about by smoking. She then asked if I drank tea. Yeah, of course. I used to be an addict to teh tarik. She said tea is also responsible in leaving stains on teeth, especially the cheap teas with hypermarket brands that you buy from Tescos or Giant, as it is filled with colourings. She adviced that it is advisable to gargle after taking tea to make sure that the stains does not stick and stay on your teeth. Hmm... I never knew that.
The scaling exercise felt forever. And I didn’t know it could be quite an agonising experience either. I have sensitive teeth you see, and I would even cringe in discomfort when gargling cold water because of it. But it was all worth it in the end. After what seem like forever, my teeth had lost all its stains and my mouth felt so clean. And suddenly braving myself for this visit seem all worth it.
My blindingly shiny teeth afterwards...
Will I see the dentist again in 6 months? Hmmm... somehow the prospect doesn't seem so scary anymore.
Now, open wide...
I had had the ache to my premolar tooth (one of the smaller gigi geraham... heck, I had to Google it up know what the particular tooth is called in English) since my university days and due to my perceived irrational fear to see the dentist, I had chosen to live with the pain rather than brave myself to get on the dentist’s chair. You see, my phobia for the dentist is not something which I was born with, or something that I had acquired from my visits to the dentist in my childhood days. Rather, my phobia started after a visit I made to the dentist when I was in the UK during my A-Level studying days. The same tooth (before the ache began) had cracked again, and the earlier filling in the tooth had come out leaving a big cavity. I decided to visit the dentist and get a new filling with no hesitation back then. But the way the dentist administered the filling back then left a long lasting effect on me that I still shiver whenever I recounted the story.
First of all, he injected some sort of anasthetic into my gum, supposedly so that I won’t feel any pain from the procedure. Fine, I thought. This is nothing new. The anasthetic later had the effect of temporarily paralysing half of my face for half a day that I didn’t look too much different from Quasimodo from Hunchback of Notre Dame. The worst part actually came when the tooth drilling started in earnest, and guess what, it was bloody painful! I tried not to show any agitation at first, trying to preserve my male masochism the best I can. But it came to a point when I felt like the drilling actually hit a NERVE in my gum that I reactively screamed in pain. I can’t recall what the dentist said or reacted to my agony at the time as I was too absorbed by the pain. To make matters worse, all this happened about 3 days before my A-Levels exams. It had a traumatic effect on me, and the whole episode was enough to give me a life long phobia of the dentist.
A case of bad anasthetic...
My phobia however almost had a serious consequence. The filling done by the dentist who scared me to life unfortunately came off after only 2 more years, and this time I was understandably too hesitant to do anything about it. I decided to leave the cavity uncapped, to the detriment of the tooth and gum. It was getting increasingly painful whenever I accidentaly chomped my food with that particular tooth. My gum in that particular area had bled frequently and it was beginning to excrete puss. My breath was getting foul by the day, and I then decided enough was enough. I gathered my courage and braced myself for a dental visit 3 years ago. My tooth managed to be saved, just barely. The dentist said it was almost too late when I finally decided to do something about it, and he thought at first that the tooth had to be extracted. He performed a root canal treatment on it, and I was left with a lesson that such fears, irrational or rational it may be, needs to be conquered if I were to avoid getting myself into such a situation again.
Which brought me to my first visit to the dentist in 3 years yesterday.
The visit this time was more due to routine however. I know the common advice for a regular dentist visit should be done once every 6 months, and believe me I have been psyching myself to do that all the time. But time and time again I would find a convenient excuse not to go. The visit this time was triggered by my wife who had a minor complaint about an ache to her premolar tooth as well. So we went...
"Argghh... doctor, that is not the right tooth!" One of the common fears for those suffering from dental phobia
Getting seated on the dentist’s chair never fails to get my heart racing. Good thing the dentist didn’t find anything wrong with my teeth to warrant any serious procedure, so I was just up for scaling. It had been a long while since I had scaling of my teeth anyway.
There was an interesting fact that I learnt from the visit. The dentist took a quick look at my teeth and asked if I was a smoker. The question took me by surprise because I do not smoke. She said my teeth were stained, which is usually brought about by smoking. She then asked if I drank tea. Yeah, of course. I used to be an addict to teh tarik. She said tea is also responsible in leaving stains on teeth, especially the cheap teas with hypermarket brands that you buy from Tescos or Giant, as it is filled with colourings. She adviced that it is advisable to gargle after taking tea to make sure that the stains does not stick and stay on your teeth. Hmm... I never knew that.
The scaling exercise felt forever. And I didn’t know it could be quite an agonising experience either. I have sensitive teeth you see, and I would even cringe in discomfort when gargling cold water because of it. But it was all worth it in the end. After what seem like forever, my teeth had lost all its stains and my mouth felt so clean. And suddenly braving myself for this visit seem all worth it.
My blindingly shiny teeth afterwards...
Will I see the dentist again in 6 months? Hmmm... somehow the prospect doesn't seem so scary anymore.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Morning Babble
My company will hold its Raya Open House for the staffs today at one of the hotels in KL, and everyone's asked to turn up with their spankiest outfit. The Open House is scheduled to take place in the afternoon after the Friday prayers but I believe given the excitement and huha that has come with its anticipation, not much can be established in the office in the morning. As you can imagine, the women have started congregating amongst them comparing their latest fashionable baju kurung/kebaya and accessories that they (perhaps quietly) wish will be the envy of the other women and attraction of the men. Ntah le.. I do find this behaviour rather funny and so woman-like. It's like "see, see, look at what I'm wearing", or "hopefully this is good enough to land me the best dressed female prize". Haiyaa... the things that women crave for just baffles me.
Anyway, on the office front I've almost come to terms with the situation here. The trick is to keep a stone face and just keep moving on, regardless if the deadline has passed or not. I am not saying deadlines are not important, coz if I do think that I might as well work for AirAsia and not this company I'm working in now. But I'm not going to kill myself stretching myself any thinner as I already have now because it's crazy. I just have to keep marching on and hope that my sanity will still preserve at the end of it all. As it is, the stress that I'm experiencing has resulted in some behaviours of mine that resembles a female suffering from PMS.
Yeah, I get annoyed over the simplest things these days. Things like the women in the office busying themselves over petty stuffs like their baju raya. Or the boss talking nonsense about the company's Corporate Agenda in the department meeting yesterday. Ntah le.. in a way I don't mind feeling this way because it is a sign that I'm always on my toes, thus my nerves are more easily touched than usual. I've just been clenching my teeth and say it's ok and it's not their fault. And to help me calm myself, I've been playing lounge music on my PC, although I've just found out that it has made my colleague sitting next to me sleepy. Bet she's annoyed with me too now...
There's nothing like sharing your annoyance with the people around you. Hehe...
Anyway, on the office front I've almost come to terms with the situation here. The trick is to keep a stone face and just keep moving on, regardless if the deadline has passed or not. I am not saying deadlines are not important, coz if I do think that I might as well work for AirAsia and not this company I'm working in now. But I'm not going to kill myself stretching myself any thinner as I already have now because it's crazy. I just have to keep marching on and hope that my sanity will still preserve at the end of it all. As it is, the stress that I'm experiencing has resulted in some behaviours of mine that resembles a female suffering from PMS.
Yeah, I get annoyed over the simplest things these days. Things like the women in the office busying themselves over petty stuffs like their baju raya. Or the boss talking nonsense about the company's Corporate Agenda in the department meeting yesterday. Ntah le.. in a way I don't mind feeling this way because it is a sign that I'm always on my toes, thus my nerves are more easily touched than usual. I've just been clenching my teeth and say it's ok and it's not their fault. And to help me calm myself, I've been playing lounge music on my PC, although I've just found out that it has made my colleague sitting next to me sleepy. Bet she's annoyed with me too now...
There's nothing like sharing your annoyance with the people around you. Hehe...
Thursday, November 02, 2006
If
I love this poem by Rudyard Kipling. It is a good poem to lift the spirits when you're down in the dumps and self doubts begin to creep in. Something classy to recite when you want to reassure someone who needs upliftings words. A good reminder for one not to lose his/her head in the hardest adversity, or even when in the grandest of triumphs. It is a poem that tells the differences between a boy and a man.
Enjoy.
If...
by Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
Enjoy.
If...
by Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
I'm Too Sexy...
Did one of the many million tests they have in blogthings when my brain shut down and I kept failing to jump start it at work today. And what have I found out about myself?
Yeah baby yeah! (say it the way Mike Myers do…)
| You Are Super Spicy |
 You're a little bit crazy, a little bit naughty, and a whole lot of sexy. You go beyond hot - you set people's senses on fire! |
Yeah baby yeah! (say it the way Mike Myers do…)
The Post Holiday Blues
It is my second day at work, and already I’m feeling overwhelmed by work. Of course I was prepared for the barrages of work that was waiting for me after being away from the office for a week, but what I wasn’t prepared for was new tasks that my new boss have only thought off during the one week she was away from the office. And suddenly I have like 5 deadlines to meet in a space of a month, and I have to say we’re talking about big deadlines here. And with my brains and basically whole system been turned off for a good week during the festive season, I almost suffered from systems jam when faced with all this yesterday. I genuinely thought I was going to get a heart attack yesterday and went to bed early just in case. Ok la… I exaggerated a bit about the heart attack but lesser mortals than me might not have been so lucky.
It took me a week to rediscover my zest again over the holidays, and it just took one day to spoil all that. Sometimes I think my life evolves around work too much that it’s killing the very essence of the person I am. I hate to complain, because I know complaining takes you nowhere here. I woke up this morning pondering how much longer can I stand all this. The working environment, the colleague-from-hell who doesn’t seem to get any smarter by the day, a boss who has no clue what he’s supposed to do, and a new department head who seem to trust the dumb colleague more than anyone else, at the expense of some people (myself included) who are already frustrated with her legendary incompetence to begin with. At times, I can’t help but feel I’m stuck in a lost cause.
*Sigh* Ntah le..
It took me a week to rediscover my zest again over the holidays, and it just took one day to spoil all that. Sometimes I think my life evolves around work too much that it’s killing the very essence of the person I am. I hate to complain, because I know complaining takes you nowhere here. I woke up this morning pondering how much longer can I stand all this. The working environment, the colleague-from-hell who doesn’t seem to get any smarter by the day, a boss who has no clue what he’s supposed to do, and a new department head who seem to trust the dumb colleague more than anyone else, at the expense of some people (myself included) who are already frustrated with her legendary incompetence to begin with. At times, I can’t help but feel I’m stuck in a lost cause.
*Sigh* Ntah le..
Friday, October 27, 2006
My Raya This Year
The beginning of Raya Aidilfitri in fact begins on the night before 1st of Syawal, when muslims all over the world will recite the takbir, which marks the end of the fasting month of Ramadhan and the beginning of Aidilfitri. The takbir signifies victory for the muslims, for having gone through a month of restraint and supposedly rehabilitation in the month of Ramadhan. For the Muslim who managed to achieve this objective in Ramadhan, there is a reward of purity to the soul and that he/she would come to the 1st of Syawal with a soul as pure as a newborn, Insya-Allah. The only sins that are left to be cleansed are the sins with other human beings, which is why you will see Muslims (in Malaysia at least) seeking forgiveness from one another on the 1st of Syawal.
I spent the 1st day of Raya in KL with my family. This has become a more regular feature in our family's raya plans this last couple of years. In the past, we used to drive back to my parents' hometown (my parents were childhood sweethearts, and they lived about half an hour's drive from each other) in Pontian a few days before Hari Raya. The last few days of fasting in kampung and the fun of playing with firecrackers used to be the order of the day for us kids back then. Those really were the days. Now that all my cousins have grown up, and having children themselves, spaces in my late grandma's house is at a premium. At any one time, there could easily be more than 50 of us if everyone showed up at the same time. So these days, when I do get the chance to go back to Johor for Raya we'd have no choice but to put up in a hotel. Yeah... I know it's sad but hey that's the price of overpopulation.
"Smile, smile at the camera!". Insyirah and my father. Seronoknyaa...
Performed my Aidilfitri prayers at the Wilayah Mosque in Jalan Duta. There were loads of people, foreigners were quite many amongst them. After that, our beraya adventure began. And that meant a lot of food and outflow of cash in the form of duit raya. Hehe... after fasting for a month, I have to say it took a little getting used to to eat again during the day, let alone to indulge oneself into a food galore as most of us would on this special occassion. I just managed to go beraya to 2 houses on the 1st day, and even that was too much for me. Some people could manage to go from one house after another all day and end up going to a dozen open houses and still come home hungry for more food.
Just looking back to the Aidilfitris I've experienced in the past, I can't help but feel that this special day has different meanings to each and one of us, at different stages in our lives. I'm not talking about it from the spiritual aspect though, as when it comes to that I think most of us Muslims already know what it means and how significant it is. What I mean is the social aspect of it. For instance, a kid's perception of Aidilfitri is definitely different from that of an adult. Just reminiscing my own experiences, Hari Raya meant getting new baju melayu, songkok, shoes, and the whole package of new stuffs to wear. It meant a 7 hour ride in the car on our balik kampung journey. It meant meeting all my cousins whom I don't get to meet very often because our trips to kampung at any other times in the year never coincided with each other. It was about playing firecrackers, even getting ourselves into a 'mini rockets war' with the children whose house was across the kampung street (thank god no one's house got burnt down or anything like that back then). And of course it meant going on raya rounds to houses in the kampung and getting duit raya. The rate at the time was in the region of 10 sen to a max of 50 sen. Not that the amount mattered much at the time, it was just the fun of walking around the kampung with your relatives in your new outfit that made it fun.
"I want this, and this, and this, and that!!". Insyirah dissecting Raya hampers with my mother in law.
Things are slightly different for the teenagers. Nothing changes in the clothing department, and we still expect to get new clothes when it comes to Hari Raya. But we were fashion conscious at this age. We wanted our baju raya to be extra special and different from the rest. My mum told me her teenage years was her most memorable moment when it came to Aidilfitri. And the moment most special for her was when my father came over to the house for Raya... it was an event she would wait for all year. Hehe... how sweet.
Raya this year is however extra special for me as my daughter Insyirah who is now 14 months old is old enough to understand what the fuss this day is all about. Well, at least that's what the people around her are doing to her anyway, fussing over what she would wear and stuffs for Hari Raya. Her behaviour has been very commendable as well, being well-behaved when we go for raya visits. She was only 3 months old the last Hari Raya and back then she was practically crying and screaming whenever we went for visits, so the number of houses we went last year was very few. This year, the crying and screaming were replaced with baby talk and chit chat and I noticed she has been very indulgent in conversations. She's turned out to be a very cheeky and friendly toddler with a very hearty and infectious laugh. Love you girl...
"Drive safely ok?"
My little family and I drove to Ipoh in the evening of the 1st of Raya, and we'll be driving back to KL today. To those of you who will be travelling today, have a safe journey. Drive carefully and not recklessly. Ingatlah orang yang tersayang. Do not make your future Aidilfitris a tragic memory as a result of an instant moment of madness and recklessness on the road. Let's make sure it brings only memorable nostalgias that we will like to recount over and over again.
I spent the 1st day of Raya in KL with my family. This has become a more regular feature in our family's raya plans this last couple of years. In the past, we used to drive back to my parents' hometown (my parents were childhood sweethearts, and they lived about half an hour's drive from each other) in Pontian a few days before Hari Raya. The last few days of fasting in kampung and the fun of playing with firecrackers used to be the order of the day for us kids back then. Those really were the days. Now that all my cousins have grown up, and having children themselves, spaces in my late grandma's house is at a premium. At any one time, there could easily be more than 50 of us if everyone showed up at the same time. So these days, when I do get the chance to go back to Johor for Raya we'd have no choice but to put up in a hotel. Yeah... I know it's sad but hey that's the price of overpopulation.
"Smile, smile at the camera!". Insyirah and my father. Seronoknyaa...
Performed my Aidilfitri prayers at the Wilayah Mosque in Jalan Duta. There were loads of people, foreigners were quite many amongst them. After that, our beraya adventure began. And that meant a lot of food and outflow of cash in the form of duit raya. Hehe... after fasting for a month, I have to say it took a little getting used to to eat again during the day, let alone to indulge oneself into a food galore as most of us would on this special occassion. I just managed to go beraya to 2 houses on the 1st day, and even that was too much for me. Some people could manage to go from one house after another all day and end up going to a dozen open houses and still come home hungry for more food.
Just looking back to the Aidilfitris I've experienced in the past, I can't help but feel that this special day has different meanings to each and one of us, at different stages in our lives. I'm not talking about it from the spiritual aspect though, as when it comes to that I think most of us Muslims already know what it means and how significant it is. What I mean is the social aspect of it. For instance, a kid's perception of Aidilfitri is definitely different from that of an adult. Just reminiscing my own experiences, Hari Raya meant getting new baju melayu, songkok, shoes, and the whole package of new stuffs to wear. It meant a 7 hour ride in the car on our balik kampung journey. It meant meeting all my cousins whom I don't get to meet very often because our trips to kampung at any other times in the year never coincided with each other. It was about playing firecrackers, even getting ourselves into a 'mini rockets war' with the children whose house was across the kampung street (thank god no one's house got burnt down or anything like that back then). And of course it meant going on raya rounds to houses in the kampung and getting duit raya. The rate at the time was in the region of 10 sen to a max of 50 sen. Not that the amount mattered much at the time, it was just the fun of walking around the kampung with your relatives in your new outfit that made it fun.
"I want this, and this, and this, and that!!". Insyirah dissecting Raya hampers with my mother in law.
Things are slightly different for the teenagers. Nothing changes in the clothing department, and we still expect to get new clothes when it comes to Hari Raya. But we were fashion conscious at this age. We wanted our baju raya to be extra special and different from the rest. My mum told me her teenage years was her most memorable moment when it came to Aidilfitri. And the moment most special for her was when my father came over to the house for Raya... it was an event she would wait for all year. Hehe... how sweet.
Raya this year is however extra special for me as my daughter Insyirah who is now 14 months old is old enough to understand what the fuss this day is all about. Well, at least that's what the people around her are doing to her anyway, fussing over what she would wear and stuffs for Hari Raya. Her behaviour has been very commendable as well, being well-behaved when we go for raya visits. She was only 3 months old the last Hari Raya and back then she was practically crying and screaming whenever we went for visits, so the number of houses we went last year was very few. This year, the crying and screaming were replaced with baby talk and chit chat and I noticed she has been very indulgent in conversations. She's turned out to be a very cheeky and friendly toddler with a very hearty and infectious laugh. Love you girl...
"Drive safely ok?"
My little family and I drove to Ipoh in the evening of the 1st of Raya, and we'll be driving back to KL today. To those of you who will be travelling today, have a safe journey. Drive carefully and not recklessly. Ingatlah orang yang tersayang. Do not make your future Aidilfitris a tragic memory as a result of an instant moment of madness and recklessness on the road. Let's make sure it brings only memorable nostalgias that we will like to recount over and over again.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
A New Face
So there.
I've finally decided to give this blog a makeover. Well, with the Aidilfitri fever very much lingering in the air, and people celebrating Raya still fresh with the sweat and joy of decorating their houses, I felt it befitting that I gave my blog a new look as well. Perhaps it has been a tad overdue too. My blog had had the old look for too long that to be honest, I was beginning to feel a bit sick of the layout myself. I guess it is normal to feel that way with progression of time. Now I understand why my mom keeps changing the arrangement of the furnitures at home.
It didn't take me long to choose this new layout. I'd had something soothing and easy on the eye template in mind, and the color green was pretty much in the criteria. My wife commented however that the flower in the background at the top of the blog might give a bit of a feminine feel to the blog, but I didn't care. First of all, I like flowers anyway and having flowers as part of my deco. And secondly, traffic into this blog is comparable to the birth rate in Singapore that I don't think I should worry too much about comments.
Who knows with a new template, I will feel revived to make this blog alive again with updates. After having this blog for 3 years, I realise I've not really been able to live up to it. If I may be honest, it has been as much a source of an inspiration as it is embarassment to me. Inspiration as an outlet for me to pour whatever little literary talent I may (or may not) have. An embarassment for the lack of updates and substance that I have on it. Still, I feel compelled to allow this blog to exist rather than shutting it down. Surprisingly, I've made over a 100 postings here since it's inception. That fact alone is a worthy justification for it's existence.
Here's to a new face, and a refreshing future.
Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Batin.
I've finally decided to give this blog a makeover. Well, with the Aidilfitri fever very much lingering in the air, and people celebrating Raya still fresh with the sweat and joy of decorating their houses, I felt it befitting that I gave my blog a new look as well. Perhaps it has been a tad overdue too. My blog had had the old look for too long that to be honest, I was beginning to feel a bit sick of the layout myself. I guess it is normal to feel that way with progression of time. Now I understand why my mom keeps changing the arrangement of the furnitures at home.
It didn't take me long to choose this new layout. I'd had something soothing and easy on the eye template in mind, and the color green was pretty much in the criteria. My wife commented however that the flower in the background at the top of the blog might give a bit of a feminine feel to the blog, but I didn't care. First of all, I like flowers anyway and having flowers as part of my deco. And secondly, traffic into this blog is comparable to the birth rate in Singapore that I don't think I should worry too much about comments.
Who knows with a new template, I will feel revived to make this blog alive again with updates. After having this blog for 3 years, I realise I've not really been able to live up to it. If I may be honest, it has been as much a source of an inspiration as it is embarassment to me. Inspiration as an outlet for me to pour whatever little literary talent I may (or may not) have. An embarassment for the lack of updates and substance that I have on it. Still, I feel compelled to allow this blog to exist rather than shutting it down. Surprisingly, I've made over a 100 postings here since it's inception. That fact alone is a worthy justification for it's existence.
Here's to a new face, and a refreshing future.
Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Batin.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Ramadhan Is Here Once Again
Ramadhan Is Here Once Again
Today marks the first day of the holy month of Ramadhan, which to most people, well at least to Malaysians, is more commonly called as the fasting month. "Bulan puasa" as most Malaysians would fondly call it. I'm not sure if it's unique only in Malaysia, the month of Ramadhan would also see the mushrooming of evening markets, or Ramadhan markets as we call it, where you can find varieties of food and delicacies for the breaking of fast. I'm telling you, being at the Ramadhan market with a hungry tummy can be quite hazardous to your health, physically and financially. Which is why I think it is important for Muslims to remember that Ramadhan is not just about the fasting, but it is also about controlling your wants and desires. It's a time for curing and enriching of the soul. It's a time to renew the vow that we've made on new year's eve to become a better person.
Anyhow, I'll leave the preaching to someone else more qualified to do that. I just felt like since I'm talking about the holy month, it is necessary for me to talk about the gist and its significance in summary. The words above apply to me more than anyone else, anyway...
Every Ramadhan, I can't help getting nostalgic and reminisce about the Ramadhans of the past. Here are 2 of the Ramadhans that plays in my memory the most:
1985
I was 8. My family and I spent a good 3 weeks of the fasting month that year in Pittsburgh, USA as my father was attending a 3 months course there. I only managed to fast for a day while I was there. It was tough, as it was the summer season at the time. Breaking fast was close to 9pm, and my brother who was 5 was a lil devil in disguise and kept tempting me with food and snacks that he was having, since he was deemed too young to fast. I managed to convince my parents that perhaps I was too, and didn't fast the next day. Then I became a lil devil myself and tempted my older sister's perseverance in turn. She managed 3 more days than I did.
1995
I was 18, and I was studying my A-Levels in an English public school in Oxford, UK. It was my first Ramadhan without the company of my family. And even more significant, it was my first experience of Ramadhan where Muslims were a minority. There were only 4 of us Muslims in that school. The first few days were a bit challenging, as I wasn't able to get proper food for sahur. Until my matron noticed this and informed the school kitchen to do something about it, after which I was having lamb chops almost every morning.
Ramadhan came about around winter time in those days, so we had it very easy. Breaking of fast came about around 4pm, so effectively we were fasting about 3 hours less, and in a much cooler climate. I remember when Ramadhan coincided with our term break, I would sometimes go back to sleep after Fajr prayers and wake up around 2 for Zuhur, and by the time I was fully awake around 4, it was time for breaking of fast. Those were the days...
Here's to a blessed Ramadhan to everyone.
Today marks the first day of the holy month of Ramadhan, which to most people, well at least to Malaysians, is more commonly called as the fasting month. "Bulan puasa" as most Malaysians would fondly call it. I'm not sure if it's unique only in Malaysia, the month of Ramadhan would also see the mushrooming of evening markets, or Ramadhan markets as we call it, where you can find varieties of food and delicacies for the breaking of fast. I'm telling you, being at the Ramadhan market with a hungry tummy can be quite hazardous to your health, physically and financially. Which is why I think it is important for Muslims to remember that Ramadhan is not just about the fasting, but it is also about controlling your wants and desires. It's a time for curing and enriching of the soul. It's a time to renew the vow that we've made on new year's eve to become a better person.
Anyhow, I'll leave the preaching to someone else more qualified to do that. I just felt like since I'm talking about the holy month, it is necessary for me to talk about the gist and its significance in summary. The words above apply to me more than anyone else, anyway...
Every Ramadhan, I can't help getting nostalgic and reminisce about the Ramadhans of the past. Here are 2 of the Ramadhans that plays in my memory the most:
1985
I was 8. My family and I spent a good 3 weeks of the fasting month that year in Pittsburgh, USA as my father was attending a 3 months course there. I only managed to fast for a day while I was there. It was tough, as it was the summer season at the time. Breaking fast was close to 9pm, and my brother who was 5 was a lil devil in disguise and kept tempting me with food and snacks that he was having, since he was deemed too young to fast. I managed to convince my parents that perhaps I was too, and didn't fast the next day. Then I became a lil devil myself and tempted my older sister's perseverance in turn. She managed 3 more days than I did.
1995
I was 18, and I was studying my A-Levels in an English public school in Oxford, UK. It was my first Ramadhan without the company of my family. And even more significant, it was my first experience of Ramadhan where Muslims were a minority. There were only 4 of us Muslims in that school. The first few days were a bit challenging, as I wasn't able to get proper food for sahur. Until my matron noticed this and informed the school kitchen to do something about it, after which I was having lamb chops almost every morning.
Ramadhan came about around winter time in those days, so we had it very easy. Breaking of fast came about around 4pm, so effectively we were fasting about 3 hours less, and in a much cooler climate. I remember when Ramadhan coincided with our term break, I would sometimes go back to sleep after Fajr prayers and wake up around 2 for Zuhur, and by the time I was fully awake around 4, it was time for breaking of fast. Those were the days...
Here's to a blessed Ramadhan to everyone.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
I'm Back
I'm Back
"I can see clearly now the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way,
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) sunshiny day.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) sunshiny day."
I’m suddenly feeling a sense of contentment and peace. It is quite a change from what I had been experiencing over the last 2 months. I had been so overwhelmed by the stresses at work, a rather worrying financial situation, and not to mention the strain of studying for my remaining ACCA papers. All these factors combining into one big combo, I was beginning to wonder when would I ever reach the end of the tunnel. Perhaps now I finally have...
As described above, many things have happened in my life since my last posting. Things had picked up speed almost considerably I may say, more than what I was prepared for. If anything, the experiences in the last couple of months have taught me a number of things. Among others, I have to get myself in order to be well prepared for whatever challenges life throws at you. In my case, I guess I wasn’t. Upon reflection, I guess I’m still grappling with the reality and responsibilty of a husband and father, and subconsciously my mind is somehow still frozen to my bachelor days. I need to be more organised, more calm, and yeah, more responsible. These are the things I need to improve should I want to progress far in my life.
The other thing I’ve realised and learnt was that spiritually I had been heading towards the worse. Perhaps I had sensed that a long time even before recently, but I guess it only hit home on me now. I had been late in performing my prayers, I had not been reciting the Quran as frequently as I should, and I had not been trying to enrich my soul with knowledge and awareness of Islam. That perhaps led to my sense of aimlessness and hopelessness that I had been experiencing. I have to thank my wife for being the broken radio (in a good sense that is) who kept reminding me to perform my duties as a good Muslim and as someone who could set a good example to her and my little child. Thanx dear... I knew you would hold me up when my chips are down.
Now with the horizon seemingly clear and my natural zest returning, my spirit feels refreshed and everything feels possible. I feel like I can do almost anything. My morale is high, and what’s more I am feeling like a new car that’s come out of the assembly line, and now going through its tune up phase. In other words, I have this sense that things will only get better, Insya-Allah. After some moments of struggle in the arena, the toreador has finally managed to tame the bull.
Torro!! Torro!! ;-)
"I can see clearly now the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way,
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) sunshiny day.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) sunshiny day."
I’m suddenly feeling a sense of contentment and peace. It is quite a change from what I had been experiencing over the last 2 months. I had been so overwhelmed by the stresses at work, a rather worrying financial situation, and not to mention the strain of studying for my remaining ACCA papers. All these factors combining into one big combo, I was beginning to wonder when would I ever reach the end of the tunnel. Perhaps now I finally have...
As described above, many things have happened in my life since my last posting. Things had picked up speed almost considerably I may say, more than what I was prepared for. If anything, the experiences in the last couple of months have taught me a number of things. Among others, I have to get myself in order to be well prepared for whatever challenges life throws at you. In my case, I guess I wasn’t. Upon reflection, I guess I’m still grappling with the reality and responsibilty of a husband and father, and subconsciously my mind is somehow still frozen to my bachelor days. I need to be more organised, more calm, and yeah, more responsible. These are the things I need to improve should I want to progress far in my life.
The other thing I’ve realised and learnt was that spiritually I had been heading towards the worse. Perhaps I had sensed that a long time even before recently, but I guess it only hit home on me now. I had been late in performing my prayers, I had not been reciting the Quran as frequently as I should, and I had not been trying to enrich my soul with knowledge and awareness of Islam. That perhaps led to my sense of aimlessness and hopelessness that I had been experiencing. I have to thank my wife for being the broken radio (in a good sense that is) who kept reminding me to perform my duties as a good Muslim and as someone who could set a good example to her and my little child. Thanx dear... I knew you would hold me up when my chips are down.
Now with the horizon seemingly clear and my natural zest returning, my spirit feels refreshed and everything feels possible. I feel like I can do almost anything. My morale is high, and what’s more I am feeling like a new car that’s come out of the assembly line, and now going through its tune up phase. In other words, I have this sense that things will only get better, Insya-Allah. After some moments of struggle in the arena, the toreador has finally managed to tame the bull.
Torro!! Torro!! ;-)
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
My Birthday
My Birthday
No.. no… it is not going to be around anytime soon. I’ve been struggling to keep myelf awake at the office, after 3 very long weeks at work and revising for exams (more on these later… when I get the time to write about em that is! Good luck to that!). Browsed through the net and found rhis website of quizzes you can do when you have nothing better to do like yours truly, or you’re just desperate to paste something on your blog after being inactive for ages.. again, like yours truly. Its about the meaning of your birthdays. The results kinda made me go ‘hmmmmm…’.. I’m not one to say if they are true. But I can sure relate to some of the characteristics mentioned.
For instance...
Weakness: Overreliance on others for happiness.
I was a wreck when I was studying in the UK for 5 years, but little did I know why I was feeling as such. Only after I came back to Malaysia did I realise I missed my family so much that their absence kinda made part of me dead. Yeah I know it sounds pathetic... but that’s the way I am. I’m lousy at being left alone, and I always find myself in need of those who understand me by my side... cry baby...
Hey it works… I’m not so sleepy anymore... ;-)
No.. no… it is not going to be around anytime soon. I’ve been struggling to keep myelf awake at the office, after 3 very long weeks at work and revising for exams (more on these later… when I get the time to write about em that is! Good luck to that!). Browsed through the net and found rhis website of quizzes you can do when you have nothing better to do like yours truly, or you’re just desperate to paste something on your blog after being inactive for ages.. again, like yours truly. Its about the meaning of your birthdays. The results kinda made me go ‘hmmmmm…’.. I’m not one to say if they are true. But I can sure relate to some of the characteristics mentioned.
For instance...
Weakness: Overreliance on others for happiness.
I was a wreck when I was studying in the UK for 5 years, but little did I know why I was feeling as such. Only after I came back to Malaysia did I realise I missed my family so much that their absence kinda made part of me dead. Yeah I know it sounds pathetic... but that’s the way I am. I’m lousy at being left alone, and I always find myself in need of those who understand me by my side... cry baby...
Hey it works… I’m not so sleepy anymore... ;-)
| Your Birthdate: August 24 |
 You understand people well and are a natural born therapist. A peacemaker, people always seem to get along when you are around. You tend to be a father or mother figure to friends, even to those older than you. You enjoy your role, and you find that you are close to many people. Your strength: Your devotion Your weakness: Reliance on others for happiness Your power color: Lilac Your power symbol: Heart Your power month: June |
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Rejoicing The Little Triumphs
Rejoicing The Little Triumphs
I arrived at the office today with a slight feeling of triumphalism. In fact, I’ve been feeling this way for some time now that it makes me wonder. In the case of this morning, the reason why I’m suddenly feeling so good about myself is because of the simple reason that I managed to catch the ‘express’ elevator on my own to my office floor. You see, where I work, the available elevators on the ground floor would wait until the next elevator comes to the same floor before it closes and brings us up to out respective office floors. This is to ensure that there will be no pile-up of people waiting around the elevators as a result of inconsistent availability of elevators at any one time.
But there is an override to this system. The next immediate elevator that comes after the first one that becomes available will not be subject to this system, and it will not wait and close immediately once the doors are cleared. This also applies when the elevator is not summoned (when the elevator buttoned is pressed to call for a lift). I’ve been spending enough time in front of the elevators in the ground floor of my office to have noticed this pattern. So when I wait for the elevators to my floor, I’ve made a point to check which ones would be coming to the ground floor. And I'll make sure that I'll take the second one or third one that would be arriving. It helps that there are indicators above each lifts to indicate its location. Hehe.. I know it sounds petty, but this knowledge of mine gives me a big sense of uplifting (pun intended.. hehe). It makes me feel good about myself. But hey... you have to look at the small triumphs in life to lighten up your day. Small portions of something good can make a real difference.
Here’s to finding the small uplifting differences in our lives!
I arrived at the office today with a slight feeling of triumphalism. In fact, I’ve been feeling this way for some time now that it makes me wonder. In the case of this morning, the reason why I’m suddenly feeling so good about myself is because of the simple reason that I managed to catch the ‘express’ elevator on my own to my office floor. You see, where I work, the available elevators on the ground floor would wait until the next elevator comes to the same floor before it closes and brings us up to out respective office floors. This is to ensure that there will be no pile-up of people waiting around the elevators as a result of inconsistent availability of elevators at any one time.
But there is an override to this system. The next immediate elevator that comes after the first one that becomes available will not be subject to this system, and it will not wait and close immediately once the doors are cleared. This also applies when the elevator is not summoned (when the elevator buttoned is pressed to call for a lift). I’ve been spending enough time in front of the elevators in the ground floor of my office to have noticed this pattern. So when I wait for the elevators to my floor, I’ve made a point to check which ones would be coming to the ground floor. And I'll make sure that I'll take the second one or third one that would be arriving. It helps that there are indicators above each lifts to indicate its location. Hehe.. I know it sounds petty, but this knowledge of mine gives me a big sense of uplifting (pun intended.. hehe). It makes me feel good about myself. But hey... you have to look at the small triumphs in life to lighten up your day. Small portions of something good can make a real difference.
Here’s to finding the small uplifting differences in our lives!
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Work Away From Work
Work Away From Work
By the standards of the last couple of weeks, this weekend has thus far been the most relaxed and peaceful one for me. I think I've said this far too many times, and at the risk of being accused of oversaying it yet again, work in my office has been close to slavery proportions. March to June are really busy times, and coupled with the factors of a demanding boss and a difficult colleague, it is considered a success that I somehow managed to breathe alive still. Weekend in the office has become almost a regular feature for my wife and myself, and to be honest I am beginning to feel sick going to work these days. Wifey and myself could do with a long relaxing break after all this madness is over. I wish it would come soon enough.
An event worth highlighting this last one month is my wife's purchase of a new laptop. She bought it at the PC fair that took place in KL a couple of weeks ago. The idea is for her to be able to get more work done from home instead of having to stay until late in the office, or having to go to the office during weekends. I have to admit that a laptop is a very useful tool. For one, my ideas to write come flowing more easily on the keyboard of a laptop than on a PC, thus supposedly would allow me to write more on this blog than ever... hehe... we'll see. And on a more practical note, it helps to do some work from home as well. So I do not feel as obliged to be in the office over the weekends anymore.
On the domestic front, my little girl Insyirah will be 9 months tomorrow. My, how time flies! Her development has been a rather rapid one this last couple of days. It is a wonder that her sweet little voice can be such a great remedy to a hard day's work of stress. The other day she called out for me when she saw me walked up the stairs from work, 'abahhh'.. and the whole day's stress was gone in a second. She has just learned to bring herself up into a sitting position, and I reckon she will start crawling and walking in no time. Time realy does fly when you have a kid growing up...
I have this darling picture of her staring at me on my desk at work...
... while this picture of hers graces the wallpaper of my PDA.
Ok.. it's time for more serious use for this laptop. Going to get some work done now. Go Izwan Go!
By the standards of the last couple of weeks, this weekend has thus far been the most relaxed and peaceful one for me. I think I've said this far too many times, and at the risk of being accused of oversaying it yet again, work in my office has been close to slavery proportions. March to June are really busy times, and coupled with the factors of a demanding boss and a difficult colleague, it is considered a success that I somehow managed to breathe alive still. Weekend in the office has become almost a regular feature for my wife and myself, and to be honest I am beginning to feel sick going to work these days. Wifey and myself could do with a long relaxing break after all this madness is over. I wish it would come soon enough.
An event worth highlighting this last one month is my wife's purchase of a new laptop. She bought it at the PC fair that took place in KL a couple of weeks ago. The idea is for her to be able to get more work done from home instead of having to stay until late in the office, or having to go to the office during weekends. I have to admit that a laptop is a very useful tool. For one, my ideas to write come flowing more easily on the keyboard of a laptop than on a PC, thus supposedly would allow me to write more on this blog than ever... hehe... we'll see. And on a more practical note, it helps to do some work from home as well. So I do not feel as obliged to be in the office over the weekends anymore.
On the domestic front, my little girl Insyirah will be 9 months tomorrow. My, how time flies! Her development has been a rather rapid one this last couple of days. It is a wonder that her sweet little voice can be such a great remedy to a hard day's work of stress. The other day she called out for me when she saw me walked up the stairs from work, 'abahhh'.. and the whole day's stress was gone in a second. She has just learned to bring herself up into a sitting position, and I reckon she will start crawling and walking in no time. Time realy does fly when you have a kid growing up...
I have this darling picture of her staring at me on my desk at work...
... while this picture of hers graces the wallpaper of my PDA.
Ok.. it's time for more serious use for this laptop. Going to get some work done now. Go Izwan Go!
Friday, April 28, 2006
The 6 O'clock Horror
The 6 O'clock Horror
I was getting myself ready to go home yesterday. It was close to 6pm. I had stayed back in the office till very late at night for the last couple of days, not really due to work, but waiting on my wife whose job is almost tantamount to slavery these days, and I was feeling very sleepy and tired. My reasons were failing me, and I wasn't even able to converse well. Words stumble out of my mouth rather than flowing fluently. And my already slanting eyes were squinting even more. Called the wife, and told her how I felt. We would go home first, and let me have a few minutes of sleep, then we'll come back to the office for her to continue work.
'Another 10 minutes dear? I'm just wrapping up here, and then we can go home', wifey said. Yeay... for the first time in a month, I might just be able to see the evening sun again.
And then 5 minutes later, the office phone rang. It was the boss.
'Izwan, can I see you in 5 minutes to discuss the board paper? There are certain things that I'd like to highlight from the draft you sent me this afternoon'.
Arggghhh....
And that's the 6 o'clock horror for you.
I was getting myself ready to go home yesterday. It was close to 6pm. I had stayed back in the office till very late at night for the last couple of days, not really due to work, but waiting on my wife whose job is almost tantamount to slavery these days, and I was feeling very sleepy and tired. My reasons were failing me, and I wasn't even able to converse well. Words stumble out of my mouth rather than flowing fluently. And my already slanting eyes were squinting even more. Called the wife, and told her how I felt. We would go home first, and let me have a few minutes of sleep, then we'll come back to the office for her to continue work.
'Another 10 minutes dear? I'm just wrapping up here, and then we can go home', wifey said. Yeay... for the first time in a month, I might just be able to see the evening sun again.
And then 5 minutes later, the office phone rang. It was the boss.
'Izwan, can I see you in 5 minutes to discuss the board paper? There are certain things that I'd like to highlight from the draft you sent me this afternoon'.
Arggghhh....
And that's the 6 o'clock horror for you.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Just The 3 Of Us
Just The 3 Of Us
It's been 3 days since my whole family bar my wife and myself left for Jakarta for a vacation. My wife and myself couldn't join them as February and March are usually a torturous time for us who work in the accounting line. So for those aspiring accountants out there, you would do well to take note of this. The company's year end accounts closing is just around the corner and the situation here is like an ant community hustling and bustling to prepare for the upcoming winter. Yeap.. that's year end closing for you.
With my parents being away from home this last couple of days, my darling Insyirah has been left at home with the maids. And unfortunately, she is very aware of the absence of her Nanny (my mother) and grandfather. I think she misses them already. Probably realised after a couple of days that some important people in her life was missing. Yesterday, as my wife and I were getting ready to go to work, she refused to let go of her mum. It's the first time that I've noticed her to behave in such a way. It was a good thing that my in-laws were kind enough to extend their weekend visit for another day. At least we were assured that she would be in the best of hands. She wasn't in the best of moods yesterday though. But I've been told that just like her daddy, she suffers from the occasional Monday blues too.
There has been no news from any of my family members since their last message on Saturday, informing us of their safe arrival. Probably lost in the whole excitement of vacationing and shopping. Terasa gak hati aku yang terover sensitif ni kekadang... tsskk.. oh well, when there's so much to see and do, it is easy to get lost in it all. At least my wife and I have the whole house to ourselves. Hmmm... and how very rarely do we get that chance.
Maybe I should take them out to dinner tonight. Been a while since I last took my wife out on a date. Of course, Insyirah will tag along. :-)
It's been 3 days since my whole family bar my wife and myself left for Jakarta for a vacation. My wife and myself couldn't join them as February and March are usually a torturous time for us who work in the accounting line. So for those aspiring accountants out there, you would do well to take note of this. The company's year end accounts closing is just around the corner and the situation here is like an ant community hustling and bustling to prepare for the upcoming winter. Yeap.. that's year end closing for you.
With my parents being away from home this last couple of days, my darling Insyirah has been left at home with the maids. And unfortunately, she is very aware of the absence of her Nanny (my mother) and grandfather. I think she misses them already. Probably realised after a couple of days that some important people in her life was missing. Yesterday, as my wife and I were getting ready to go to work, she refused to let go of her mum. It's the first time that I've noticed her to behave in such a way. It was a good thing that my in-laws were kind enough to extend their weekend visit for another day. At least we were assured that she would be in the best of hands. She wasn't in the best of moods yesterday though. But I've been told that just like her daddy, she suffers from the occasional Monday blues too.
There has been no news from any of my family members since their last message on Saturday, informing us of their safe arrival. Probably lost in the whole excitement of vacationing and shopping. Terasa gak hati aku yang terover sensitif ni kekadang... tsskk.. oh well, when there's so much to see and do, it is easy to get lost in it all. At least my wife and I have the whole house to ourselves. Hmmm... and how very rarely do we get that chance.
Maybe I should take them out to dinner tonight. Been a while since I last took my wife out on a date. Of course, Insyirah will tag along. :-)
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
The Birthday Girls!
The Birthday Girls!
My sister and her daughter Hannah celebrates their birthdays on the 4th and 6th March respectively. Time flew by like no one’s business, and before you knew it, Hannah is already a year old. A year old… unbelievable. It felt like only yesterday when the whole family was dining out in celebration of my sister’s birthday, which was exactly a year ago. We had the dinner before the day Hannah was born. My sister was in a super-advanced stage of her pregnancy by that time, and Hannah was due at any moment. I guess she wanted to wait for her mummy to celebrate her birthday before announcing her own big arrival.
Happy Birthday Girls!
Hannah has been a rather handful to handle these days, and she is not without her own bag of mischief. My mother likes to compare Hannah to my sister when she was her age; very active and mischievous. Recently, she’s learnt to play peek-a-boo. I have to say, she does it very well. I happen to be lucky to be able to capture my game of peek-a-boo with her on my video cam recently. The adorable thing is that she knows that she has to be in a hiding position first before jumping out to surprise her subject.
Getting into position...
Pausing for best effect... wait for it... andd..
Chakkk!! You can see how seriously she takes this whole peek-a-boo business.. hehe..
And while we're still on the subject of birthdays, Insyirah will be 7 months old tomorrow! Happy 7 month old sayang!
7 months tomorrow!
These images are the reason why parents like myself keep wanting to leave the office at 5pm sharp. Oh well, you parents out there will understand...
Here's to a good week ahead.
My sister and her daughter Hannah celebrates their birthdays on the 4th and 6th March respectively. Time flew by like no one’s business, and before you knew it, Hannah is already a year old. A year old… unbelievable. It felt like only yesterday when the whole family was dining out in celebration of my sister’s birthday, which was exactly a year ago. We had the dinner before the day Hannah was born. My sister was in a super-advanced stage of her pregnancy by that time, and Hannah was due at any moment. I guess she wanted to wait for her mummy to celebrate her birthday before announcing her own big arrival.
Happy Birthday Girls!
Hannah has been a rather handful to handle these days, and she is not without her own bag of mischief. My mother likes to compare Hannah to my sister when she was her age; very active and mischievous. Recently, she’s learnt to play peek-a-boo. I have to say, she does it very well. I happen to be lucky to be able to capture my game of peek-a-boo with her on my video cam recently. The adorable thing is that she knows that she has to be in a hiding position first before jumping out to surprise her subject.
Getting into position...
Pausing for best effect... wait for it... andd..
Chakkk!! You can see how seriously she takes this whole peek-a-boo business.. hehe..
And while we're still on the subject of birthdays, Insyirah will be 7 months old tomorrow! Happy 7 month old sayang!
7 months tomorrow!
These images are the reason why parents like myself keep wanting to leave the office at 5pm sharp. Oh well, you parents out there will understand...
Here's to a good week ahead.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
*Sigh*
*Sigh*
The day didn’t start very well for me today. I woke up today feeling lousier than when I went to bed last night, which says a lot because I didn’t feel that great either last night. I had been in Singapore for a stock take exercise from Monday, and having arrived in KL yesterday afternoon, I came straight to the office for quite a bit of unfinished business. After a day of climbing up oil tanks and walking around the oil terminal, I felt like I could do with an extra day off work. Yeah I know… what a sissy.
Work is murder of late, or at least it seems until I’m sharp enough to change the situation. I always blame myself for the circumstances that I’m in. That’s probably due to my own nature that I somehow feel I have the power to change most of the circumstances that I get myself into. As a result in the event that I don’t, I get depressed too easily. And when I feel that people are upset with me for my lack of sensitivity or sharpness to read the situation, the feeling is even worse.
My feelings is sometimes a complicated web of emotions and reasons. Sometimes I get too tired to reason things out, and I just resign to forget about the whole matter. Don’t get me wrong. I just forget about the confrontational part. I just need the gist of the argument. Just tell me what I need to know, slam-wham-bam, and I’ll get it done. I hate confrontations, and I don’t like to get into arguments. Sometimes we get ourselves dragged into long arguments and confrontations that most of the times we find ourselves forgetting what all the fuss is about in the first place. And chances are by that time, you might have said the things you’ll be sorry for later. So to make sure that I don’t end up doing much damage, I try to minimise the argument time to a certain limit. 5, 10 minutes maybe. Don’t prolong it... but I’m guilty of overdrive too sometimes. And I hate it when I do that.
I tend to shut things I don’t like out, and I choose to live with the rosy parts of life. Maybe it’s my way of looking at things from the bright side of life. Some people probably do not get that about me, and I usually get branded insensitive as a result. Maybe there’s some truth in that anyway. Many rights can’t make a wrong, right? I don’t know. And in typical me fashion, most of the time I don’t care...
I am just sorry for the way I am. I’ll try to get things right.
The day didn’t start very well for me today. I woke up today feeling lousier than when I went to bed last night, which says a lot because I didn’t feel that great either last night. I had been in Singapore for a stock take exercise from Monday, and having arrived in KL yesterday afternoon, I came straight to the office for quite a bit of unfinished business. After a day of climbing up oil tanks and walking around the oil terminal, I felt like I could do with an extra day off work. Yeah I know… what a sissy.
Work is murder of late, or at least it seems until I’m sharp enough to change the situation. I always blame myself for the circumstances that I’m in. That’s probably due to my own nature that I somehow feel I have the power to change most of the circumstances that I get myself into. As a result in the event that I don’t, I get depressed too easily. And when I feel that people are upset with me for my lack of sensitivity or sharpness to read the situation, the feeling is even worse.
My feelings is sometimes a complicated web of emotions and reasons. Sometimes I get too tired to reason things out, and I just resign to forget about the whole matter. Don’t get me wrong. I just forget about the confrontational part. I just need the gist of the argument. Just tell me what I need to know, slam-wham-bam, and I’ll get it done. I hate confrontations, and I don’t like to get into arguments. Sometimes we get ourselves dragged into long arguments and confrontations that most of the times we find ourselves forgetting what all the fuss is about in the first place. And chances are by that time, you might have said the things you’ll be sorry for later. So to make sure that I don’t end up doing much damage, I try to minimise the argument time to a certain limit. 5, 10 minutes maybe. Don’t prolong it... but I’m guilty of overdrive too sometimes. And I hate it when I do that.
I tend to shut things I don’t like out, and I choose to live with the rosy parts of life. Maybe it’s my way of looking at things from the bright side of life. Some people probably do not get that about me, and I usually get branded insensitive as a result. Maybe there’s some truth in that anyway. Many rights can’t make a wrong, right? I don’t know. And in typical me fashion, most of the time I don’t care...
I am just sorry for the way I am. I’ll try to get things right.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
A Frustration Vented
A Frustration Vented
Warning: Long, irrational bitching session ahead!
Much has been written about working with difficult people in an organisation. And perhaps just as much has been written about working with incompetent and stupid people. But if anyone out there knows a guide or anyone who can help me to work with a person who is stupid, incompetent, difficult, and too proud to work with despite her stupidity, please oh please tell me about it, because I feel like I’m really getting close to my wits end having to do so for close to a year now.
My colleague from hell is not showing any signs that she’ll be going back there anytime soon, and continuously causes mayhem in the workplace. Even after being here for more than a year, I wonder if she even knows what she’s supposed to do in the bigger scheme of things. In meetings, she will babble about things which never happens, and will claim to have done things that she never did. And in the process, she has continued to mislead the boss that the ship is in order and everything is fine and dandy. If my work wasn’t so closely related to hers, it would have been easier to close one eye and let her burn herself once the fire she’s causing burns out of control. But it’s just unfortunate that my work very much depends on the integrity of her work. I churn out the company’s performance reporting based on the numbers that she provides. And regularly over the last few months, I’ve been handed out rubbish for my reporting, which has caused further outrage by the boss and those departments whom performance I’m reporting for. And being the point of production of the official numbers, I feel like an anal passage suffering from a serious constipation, having to deal with all the rubbishes thrown at me within the limited time I have to produce the reports, while at the same time, getting the crap from the boss and line departments for being late and producing unreliable numbers.
My motivation has fluctuated violently. I feel like I need to cover for her for the good of the company while at the same time, just let her carry on the show, and allow her to expose her incompetence and stupidity for everyone to see once the skeletons burst out of the overloaded closet. Chances are if I chose the latter, I might get burnt too. ‘Why didn’t you alert her Izwan? You should have known better, having been around longer!’. The truth is I HAVE, but was anyone listening??!! And chances are when shit does happen, I’m gonna get some of the crap too. That’s justice for you.
How can people be so stupid and stuborn at the same time? How? I feel like quitting this company this instant just to stop having to work with her. She’s in her mid-30s and a spinster too, and at the rate she’s going, I do not see your status improving anytime soon gal. Only a doormat could withstand a stubborn no-brainer like you.
I feel better now… the wonder verbal dissentries could do to you.
Warning: Long, irrational bitching session ahead!
Much has been written about working with difficult people in an organisation. And perhaps just as much has been written about working with incompetent and stupid people. But if anyone out there knows a guide or anyone who can help me to work with a person who is stupid, incompetent, difficult, and too proud to work with despite her stupidity, please oh please tell me about it, because I feel like I’m really getting close to my wits end having to do so for close to a year now.
My colleague from hell is not showing any signs that she’ll be going back there anytime soon, and continuously causes mayhem in the workplace. Even after being here for more than a year, I wonder if she even knows what she’s supposed to do in the bigger scheme of things. In meetings, she will babble about things which never happens, and will claim to have done things that she never did. And in the process, she has continued to mislead the boss that the ship is in order and everything is fine and dandy. If my work wasn’t so closely related to hers, it would have been easier to close one eye and let her burn herself once the fire she’s causing burns out of control. But it’s just unfortunate that my work very much depends on the integrity of her work. I churn out the company’s performance reporting based on the numbers that she provides. And regularly over the last few months, I’ve been handed out rubbish for my reporting, which has caused further outrage by the boss and those departments whom performance I’m reporting for. And being the point of production of the official numbers, I feel like an anal passage suffering from a serious constipation, having to deal with all the rubbishes thrown at me within the limited time I have to produce the reports, while at the same time, getting the crap from the boss and line departments for being late and producing unreliable numbers.
My motivation has fluctuated violently. I feel like I need to cover for her for the good of the company while at the same time, just let her carry on the show, and allow her to expose her incompetence and stupidity for everyone to see once the skeletons burst out of the overloaded closet. Chances are if I chose the latter, I might get burnt too. ‘Why didn’t you alert her Izwan? You should have known better, having been around longer!’. The truth is I HAVE, but was anyone listening??!! And chances are when shit does happen, I’m gonna get some of the crap too. That’s justice for you.
How can people be so stupid and stuborn at the same time? How? I feel like quitting this company this instant just to stop having to work with her. She’s in her mid-30s and a spinster too, and at the rate she’s going, I do not see your status improving anytime soon gal. Only a doormat could withstand a stubborn no-brainer like you.
I feel better now… the wonder verbal dissentries could do to you.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
A Tribute To Women
A Tribute To Women
Have you ever experienced moments when suddenly a familiar song pops in your head and just keeps playing over and over again that you finally find yourself humming the tune? It sort of generates from the mood you're feeling at the time. For instance, when I woke up on the day of my job assessment interview, the orchestra in my head started playing Wagner's Flight of The Valkyries.
I have to admit I've been feeling a bit sentimental of late. Just the other day, I saw a woman in an advanced stage of pregnancy walked out of the turnstile at the office lobby. My attention was caught by her pale features, and lethargy of being pregnant. But I couldn't help but notice the loving eyes of a mother to be in her eyes. And suddenly, I was reminded of my own wife, and the memories of the moments she went through when she was pregnant of our daughter. The morning sickness, the backaches, and the sleepless nights, just to name a few. And the strength and courage that she gathered when giving birth to her. The live-or-die experience. And suddenly, I felt warm tears welling in my eyes. It's a sacrifice that every mother puts herself through to bring a life into this world.
Here's to 3 of the most significant women in my life.
I love you mom.
I love you my dear wife.
I love you sis.
This song is for all the women out there.
(Tip to listen to the song: Click pause at the page default music widget at the right bottom of the side bar before clicking on play on the above widget to avoid the 2 music overlapping. TQ!)
Have you ever experienced moments when suddenly a familiar song pops in your head and just keeps playing over and over again that you finally find yourself humming the tune? It sort of generates from the mood you're feeling at the time. For instance, when I woke up on the day of my job assessment interview, the orchestra in my head started playing Wagner's Flight of The Valkyries.
I have to admit I've been feeling a bit sentimental of late. Just the other day, I saw a woman in an advanced stage of pregnancy walked out of the turnstile at the office lobby. My attention was caught by her pale features, and lethargy of being pregnant. But I couldn't help but notice the loving eyes of a mother to be in her eyes. And suddenly, I was reminded of my own wife, and the memories of the moments she went through when she was pregnant of our daughter. The morning sickness, the backaches, and the sleepless nights, just to name a few. And the strength and courage that she gathered when giving birth to her. The live-or-die experience. And suddenly, I felt warm tears welling in my eyes. It's a sacrifice that every mother puts herself through to bring a life into this world.
Here's to 3 of the most significant women in my life.
I love you mom.
I love you my dear wife.
I love you sis.
This song is for all the women out there.
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(Tip to listen to the song: Click pause at the page default music widget at the right bottom of the side bar before clicking on play on the above widget to avoid the 2 music overlapping. TQ!)
Woman - John Lennon
Woman I can hardly express
My mixed emotions at my thoughtlessness
After all I'm forever in your debt
And woman I will try to express
My inner feelings and thankfulness
For showing me the meaning of success
Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Woman I know you understand
The little child inside of the man
Please remember my life is in your hands
And woman hold me close to your heart
However distant don't keep us apart
After all it is written in the stars
Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Well
Woman please let me explain
I never meant to cause you sorrow or pain
So let me tell you again and again and again
I love you, yeah, yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah, yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah, yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah, yeah
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