The Comeback
It's been a long while since I had anything up here. Suddenly I just lost any desire to do any update. I just can't explain it. It is as mysterious as the disappearance of the Angkor Watt civilisations in the past. Oh yeah, I have had a lot of stories to tell, perhaps more so than I've ever had before. I guess I just came to a point where I felt the whole idea of blogging, or at least the way I do my blogging, had lost its allure, or maybe, I just failed to see the point of blogging anymore.
Reflecting on it, I realised that perhaps I had become too concsious of the things I was blogging about. "Is this interesting enough?", or "would people be able to relate to this?", or "am i putting up things interesting enough as the other blogger?". These questions began to play in my mind a lot whenever I wanted to blog. I had become too contemplative, and as a result, bored myself from the business of blogging.
I told a fellow blogger and a friend about the above problem I had. And she simply said that perhaps I shouldn't write for others to read, but write for the only simple pleasure of writing. But really, how does one get pleasure from doing something if he does not know what or for whom he is doing it for? Where do writers/novelists get their drive from? How does JK Rowling keeps coming up with captivating fantasies in her Harry Potter novels? And Stephen King? Where does he keep coming up with stories that scares people out of their wits all the time?
I'm not saying that I aspire my blog to have effects such as these illustrious writers. The point I'm driving home is that when we dish out something for the public to consume on, it should at least be interesting enough for anyone to give a damn about. Otherwise, it feels like an unimpressive street performer with nothing more than a hat with some measly change from those who pity him enough for his effort.
Perhaps I'm taking this whole idea of blogging too seriously. Perhaps I'm looking at it too much as a commercial idea rather than an avenue for personal rambling. Perhaps I tend to search for a point in everything I do, even down to stuffs like blogging where it is not perceived to be too serious a business. I guess it's down to the dayjob that I do. I'm an accountant you see, and ideas like substance over form, accountability, and true and fair view are too ingrained in my thinking. Maybe...
I have so many things to tell. But at the same time, I feel the interesting ones are those which I can't bring myself to publish on these pages. I would love to write scandalous or juicy stories like the Datin can, or like the Sarong Party girl, where their account of lives living on the edge warrants enough interest for people to give a damn about.
Yeah, I do have stories to share here. But we'll see whether there'll be enough to sustain anyone's interest. Enough to make me write regularly at least.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Friday, July 29, 2005
The Interview
The Interview
My heart beat was beating faster than normal, and beating faster and louder by the minute like the stompings of a pursuing T-Rex in the movie Jurassic Park. Heck, it was beating so hard at times that my heart felt like jumping out.
Dupp.. dapp.. dup.. dapp…
My state of mind was close to being chaotic. All the facts that I had cramped into my head in the previous week or so were a jumbled mess, and I realised that I was feeling even less confident about the ordeal I was about to go through at that moment then when I firsrt started preparing myself for it. Suddenly, I couldn’t even remember even the stuffs which were supposed to be simple, and belatedly realised that in my attempt to learn stuffs which I wasn’t so good at, I had neglected the stuffs that I do everyday, and as a result risk looking like an incompetent buff who’s been on the job for so long and still didn’t know thoroughly what’s required of me.
This wasn't in the job description!!
The above is the ordeal that I went through in anticipation of my job assessment interview on Tuesday morning.
The job interview, as I’ve mentioned before, is a job assessment process to evaluate whether or not I’m fit to do the job I’ve been doing as a senior executive for the last 5 years. I know it sounds funny. I would think I would have been kicked out of this place if I wasn’t able to do the job for even 3 months, let alone 5 years. But hey, it’s the company’s policy, and you either put up with it or leave, Dilbert-like though it may be.
Looking back in retrospect, I think the interview went quite ok. I wouldn’t say it was brilliant though. My answer to most of the interview questions were at best basic, and in some instances, needed further prompting from my interviewers. Have you ever had that feeling that you could probably have given a better answer, or phrased your answer better, just after you’ve answered a question? That happened to me a lot on Tuesday that by the time we got to the end of the session, I felt too immuned with such situation that I just stopped cringeing anymore whenever it happened again. It’s like developing an anti-body to bee stings after you’ve been stung too many times.
In my opinion, I find the questions to be a bit too technical to be relevant, especially in the context of day to day work. You can say it was quite heavy on the theory side. Questions like definitions of some terms in the accounting standards, and getting asked to elaborate on a few number of standards of my choice. On a day to day application at work however, you can count with the fingers in one hand people who could actually remember all the standards and accounting definitions by hard. Most people (me included) know the general basic characteristics of what is required, and if further references need to be made, then would we refer to the standards literatures available.
Oh well…
On the bright side, the sensation after such a nerve-wrecking experience is one of great relief. Situations like preparing yourself for an interview or exams are always nerve-wrecking, and the nerve dangling experience lies both in the anticipation and the event itself. And in some cases, the anticipation proves the worse of the two in terms of what it does to your composure. The result of the interview will be out in a month’s time, and at this moment at least, I’m just glad that I’m done and over with it.
Pray for me that I’ll make it will ya.
My heart beat was beating faster than normal, and beating faster and louder by the minute like the stompings of a pursuing T-Rex in the movie Jurassic Park. Heck, it was beating so hard at times that my heart felt like jumping out.
Dupp.. dapp.. dup.. dapp…
My state of mind was close to being chaotic. All the facts that I had cramped into my head in the previous week or so were a jumbled mess, and I realised that I was feeling even less confident about the ordeal I was about to go through at that moment then when I firsrt started preparing myself for it. Suddenly, I couldn’t even remember even the stuffs which were supposed to be simple, and belatedly realised that in my attempt to learn stuffs which I wasn’t so good at, I had neglected the stuffs that I do everyday, and as a result risk looking like an incompetent buff who’s been on the job for so long and still didn’t know thoroughly what’s required of me.
This wasn't in the job description!!
The above is the ordeal that I went through in anticipation of my job assessment interview on Tuesday morning.
The job interview, as I’ve mentioned before, is a job assessment process to evaluate whether or not I’m fit to do the job I’ve been doing as a senior executive for the last 5 years. I know it sounds funny. I would think I would have been kicked out of this place if I wasn’t able to do the job for even 3 months, let alone 5 years. But hey, it’s the company’s policy, and you either put up with it or leave, Dilbert-like though it may be.
Looking back in retrospect, I think the interview went quite ok. I wouldn’t say it was brilliant though. My answer to most of the interview questions were at best basic, and in some instances, needed further prompting from my interviewers. Have you ever had that feeling that you could probably have given a better answer, or phrased your answer better, just after you’ve answered a question? That happened to me a lot on Tuesday that by the time we got to the end of the session, I felt too immuned with such situation that I just stopped cringeing anymore whenever it happened again. It’s like developing an anti-body to bee stings after you’ve been stung too many times.
In my opinion, I find the questions to be a bit too technical to be relevant, especially in the context of day to day work. You can say it was quite heavy on the theory side. Questions like definitions of some terms in the accounting standards, and getting asked to elaborate on a few number of standards of my choice. On a day to day application at work however, you can count with the fingers in one hand people who could actually remember all the standards and accounting definitions by hard. Most people (me included) know the general basic characteristics of what is required, and if further references need to be made, then would we refer to the standards literatures available.
Oh well…
On the bright side, the sensation after such a nerve-wrecking experience is one of great relief. Situations like preparing yourself for an interview or exams are always nerve-wrecking, and the nerve dangling experience lies both in the anticipation and the event itself. And in some cases, the anticipation proves the worse of the two in terms of what it does to your composure. The result of the interview will be out in a month’s time, and at this moment at least, I’m just glad that I’m done and over with it.
Pray for me that I’ll make it will ya.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Be Nice To Everyone 'Coz You'll Never Know...
Be Nice To Everyone 'Coz You'll Never Know...
I'm away from the office attending a course today and tomorrow. It is nice to be away from the office once in a while, even though for a simple mandatory course that you have to attend as required by the job. Sort of breaks the monotony of the day to day routine. And anything that breaks the monotony usually has the effect of giving you a kick-start into reality once again, reminding you there is more to life than your 9-5 job and the lunches at Asian Flavours or Signatures. And while we're on the subject of lunches, there is always something to look forward to when it comes to food when you're attending training or courses.
The training I'm attending this next 2 days is an internal training provided by the company I work for, and the norm with internal training is that the trainers are usually senior staffs of the company who volunteers (or rather forced to volunteer really. Like they have the choice anyway... ) to become line trainers. To my surprise, I found out today that the person who provides our training is an acquaintance of mine whom I used to know back when I was in the UK. And he's not any older than I am. I gathered from him over lunch just now that he's now a senior manager in one of the subsidiaries of our company. And to think of I'm still in the midst of an assessment process whether or not I qualify to be doing a senior executive job.
So it was a bit weird having to sit back and listen like a good trainee when I used to not think much of him in the past. You see, we used to have our differences and to cut a long story short, I once did something enough to ruffle his feathers by a bit. He's the typical high energy go-getter whom usually gets on people's nerves, and steps on quite a few of people's feet. Professionally however, I have the utmost respect for him. And putting the baket of sour grapes aside, you can't help but admire someone like him who's gone that far in his career in an environment where such occurences is not the norm for someone his age. On that respect bro, I take my hat off to you.
I don't think he keeps a grudge of what happened between us in the past. He's not really asked me the difficult to impossible questions in class. Well, at least not yet...
I'm away from the office attending a course today and tomorrow. It is nice to be away from the office once in a while, even though for a simple mandatory course that you have to attend as required by the job. Sort of breaks the monotony of the day to day routine. And anything that breaks the monotony usually has the effect of giving you a kick-start into reality once again, reminding you there is more to life than your 9-5 job and the lunches at Asian Flavours or Signatures. And while we're on the subject of lunches, there is always something to look forward to when it comes to food when you're attending training or courses.
The training I'm attending this next 2 days is an internal training provided by the company I work for, and the norm with internal training is that the trainers are usually senior staffs of the company who volunteers (or rather forced to volunteer really. Like they have the choice anyway... ) to become line trainers. To my surprise, I found out today that the person who provides our training is an acquaintance of mine whom I used to know back when I was in the UK. And he's not any older than I am. I gathered from him over lunch just now that he's now a senior manager in one of the subsidiaries of our company. And to think of I'm still in the midst of an assessment process whether or not I qualify to be doing a senior executive job.
So it was a bit weird having to sit back and listen like a good trainee when I used to not think much of him in the past. You see, we used to have our differences and to cut a long story short, I once did something enough to ruffle his feathers by a bit. He's the typical high energy go-getter whom usually gets on people's nerves, and steps on quite a few of people's feet. Professionally however, I have the utmost respect for him. And putting the baket of sour grapes aside, you can't help but admire someone like him who's gone that far in his career in an environment where such occurences is not the norm for someone his age. On that respect bro, I take my hat off to you.
I don't think he keeps a grudge of what happened between us in the past. He's not really asked me the difficult to impossible questions in class. Well, at least not yet...
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
An Experience To Remember
An Experience To Remember
My wife and I have been attending ante-natal classes at the Damansara Specialist Hospital for the last 3 weeks. I have to say, the contents of the classes have been very useful, especially for first-born expectants like my wife and me. So far, we’ve learnt of what to expect during pregnancy (though this might come as a bit too late for us, considering my wife is now pretty close to the expected date of delivery), the right diet for the mother-to-be (this one too), arrangements that we should make when the baby is due, suitable physical and breathing exercises for the mother-to-be, and massage techniques for the husband to administer on wifey.
Last night’s lesson however, was arguably the most interesting todate.
We were given a show of the signs to look out for when labour is due. Signs like contractions, and the break of the water bag, and so forth. We were also shown a video of the stages of labour, from the moment the wife’s admitted to the hospital, to the moment when the baby is delivered and then subsequently the removal of the placenta. There are in fact 3 stages of labour. It begins with contractions, which will take place every 10-15 minutes, and the cervix will open up to 3cm. At this stage, the opening of the cervix will be at 1cm in every 1 hour. This is also when the water bag will burst.
The 2nd stage of labour is when the cervix will open up to 10cm. Contractions now become more regular at every 4-5 minutes. This is the stage when the baby will be delivered, and the mother would have to push as advised by the doctor. There’s a wide misconception that labour ends with the delivery of the baby when in fact it doesn’t. This stage is arguably the most excruciating one. Mothers-to-be are advised to try and relax at this stage and try to take their minds off the pain by trying to focus an imaginary target where they would focus their pushing. Some doctors even suggest reciting of prayers or poetry, or even focus on their husbands who would be standing by their side.
The 3rd stage takes place after the baby is safely delivered, and it’s when the placenta is removed, and the mid-wife claims “when the father no longer focuses his attention to the mother”. Tsskk…. So daddies to be out there, remember that all is not over yet after the baby’s out. The mother still needs your support emotionally and physically to push the placenta out. I shall take a mental note of that too come the day.
In short, my wife summarises the stages with the following:
1st stage: longer but less painful
2nd stage: shorter, but in terrible pain
3rd stage: shortest
Hehe...
The video show was a very useful visual exercise of what we should expect when the real moment of labour comes. It was also helpful in playing down the fears of some of us, who would be experiencing this miracle moment of child birth only for the first time. I’ve learnt to appreciate what all mothers would have to go through in bringing a life into this world. And that is not to mention the 9 months of sacrifice and discomfort that they would have to go through prior to that ultimate moment. And to think of, all we men had to do in contribution is making a small deposit on one night and just wait for the delivery after 9 months. We men do have the easy way out in the whole subject of procreation.
We were then took for a tour around the hospital to the labour and maternity wards. It felt like a privilege experience to be allowed into the labour ward. The place is closed to the general visitors to the hospital, and is only opened to women in the 3rd stage of labour and her next of kin, usually the husband. We were shown the room where the child birth process will take place.
This is when I made one of the most memorable volunteer of my life.
The mid-wife was showing us the arrangement of the labour ward on the day of labour, and we were having a simulation exercise of where everyone would be in the room on the big day. Understandably of course, I was keen to know where the father would be standing in the middle of all the excitement that day. So instinctively when the mid-wife asked who would like to volunteer, I said “I’ll do it” without even giving it a second thought.
The stunned reaction from the mid-wife to my spontaneous volunteer should have given me a hint of what was to come. I simply thought I was volunteering to stand where the husband would be standing on the day of labour, where I would be lending my hand and support to my wife. Instead I had volunteered to be ‘my wife’, and simulate the whole posture of being in labour. I was asked to lie down on the bed, spread my legs wide, and hold on to the railings in a comfortable position to push, and then simulated how the pushing is done.
I felt like the Ultimate Exhibit in front of the 10-odd couples who were there. I couldn’t quite see where my wife was as she was looking away, quite unable to control her laughter at my ordeal. I’m quite happy to say however I must have made quite a realistic exhibit, as I gave it my all when asked to push. Hehe… The bed was rather comfortable however, and at least I have had the first hand experience to tell my wife I’ve been there before. Hehe...
Wifey was still laughing heartily at the whole incident as we left the hospital last night. She said she might just be reminded of the whole thing again when she’s on the labour bed herself on the day of labour, and might just blurt out laughing again.
Well, hopefully I’d done enough to take some of her mind off the pain on that day with such a memory.
My wife and I have been attending ante-natal classes at the Damansara Specialist Hospital for the last 3 weeks. I have to say, the contents of the classes have been very useful, especially for first-born expectants like my wife and me. So far, we’ve learnt of what to expect during pregnancy (though this might come as a bit too late for us, considering my wife is now pretty close to the expected date of delivery), the right diet for the mother-to-be (this one too), arrangements that we should make when the baby is due, suitable physical and breathing exercises for the mother-to-be, and massage techniques for the husband to administer on wifey.
Last night’s lesson however, was arguably the most interesting todate.
We were given a show of the signs to look out for when labour is due. Signs like contractions, and the break of the water bag, and so forth. We were also shown a video of the stages of labour, from the moment the wife’s admitted to the hospital, to the moment when the baby is delivered and then subsequently the removal of the placenta. There are in fact 3 stages of labour. It begins with contractions, which will take place every 10-15 minutes, and the cervix will open up to 3cm. At this stage, the opening of the cervix will be at 1cm in every 1 hour. This is also when the water bag will burst.
The 2nd stage of labour is when the cervix will open up to 10cm. Contractions now become more regular at every 4-5 minutes. This is the stage when the baby will be delivered, and the mother would have to push as advised by the doctor. There’s a wide misconception that labour ends with the delivery of the baby when in fact it doesn’t. This stage is arguably the most excruciating one. Mothers-to-be are advised to try and relax at this stage and try to take their minds off the pain by trying to focus an imaginary target where they would focus their pushing. Some doctors even suggest reciting of prayers or poetry, or even focus on their husbands who would be standing by their side.
The 3rd stage takes place after the baby is safely delivered, and it’s when the placenta is removed, and the mid-wife claims “when the father no longer focuses his attention to the mother”. Tsskk…. So daddies to be out there, remember that all is not over yet after the baby’s out. The mother still needs your support emotionally and physically to push the placenta out. I shall take a mental note of that too come the day.
In short, my wife summarises the stages with the following:
1st stage: longer but less painful
2nd stage: shorter, but in terrible pain
3rd stage: shortest
Hehe...
The video show was a very useful visual exercise of what we should expect when the real moment of labour comes. It was also helpful in playing down the fears of some of us, who would be experiencing this miracle moment of child birth only for the first time. I’ve learnt to appreciate what all mothers would have to go through in bringing a life into this world. And that is not to mention the 9 months of sacrifice and discomfort that they would have to go through prior to that ultimate moment. And to think of, all we men had to do in contribution is making a small deposit on one night and just wait for the delivery after 9 months. We men do have the easy way out in the whole subject of procreation.
We were then took for a tour around the hospital to the labour and maternity wards. It felt like a privilege experience to be allowed into the labour ward. The place is closed to the general visitors to the hospital, and is only opened to women in the 3rd stage of labour and her next of kin, usually the husband. We were shown the room where the child birth process will take place.
This is when I made one of the most memorable volunteer of my life.
The mid-wife was showing us the arrangement of the labour ward on the day of labour, and we were having a simulation exercise of where everyone would be in the room on the big day. Understandably of course, I was keen to know where the father would be standing in the middle of all the excitement that day. So instinctively when the mid-wife asked who would like to volunteer, I said “I’ll do it” without even giving it a second thought.
The stunned reaction from the mid-wife to my spontaneous volunteer should have given me a hint of what was to come. I simply thought I was volunteering to stand where the husband would be standing on the day of labour, where I would be lending my hand and support to my wife. Instead I had volunteered to be ‘my wife’, and simulate the whole posture of being in labour. I was asked to lie down on the bed, spread my legs wide, and hold on to the railings in a comfortable position to push, and then simulated how the pushing is done.
I felt like the Ultimate Exhibit in front of the 10-odd couples who were there. I couldn’t quite see where my wife was as she was looking away, quite unable to control her laughter at my ordeal. I’m quite happy to say however I must have made quite a realistic exhibit, as I gave it my all when asked to push. Hehe… The bed was rather comfortable however, and at least I have had the first hand experience to tell my wife I’ve been there before. Hehe...
Wifey was still laughing heartily at the whole incident as we left the hospital last night. She said she might just be reminded of the whole thing again when she’s on the labour bed herself on the day of labour, and might just blurt out laughing again.
Well, hopefully I’d done enough to take some of her mind off the pain on that day with such a memory.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Light At The End Of A Short Tunnel
Light At The End Of A Short Tunnel
It's another Monday morning, and up to this point at least, I'm glad to say that I'm not feeling as much blues as I usually do on this day. The experience of last week when i felt mostly like a zombie throughout the whole week had made me to reflect on my perception of myself, work, and life in general. And among other things, I've realised that perhaps the reason why I felt so lousy and bored at work last week was because I was beginning to feel too big or too good for the work I'm doing now. Bruce Lee once said, empty your cup, and it shall be filled. And with respect to this metaphore, I must have been like an overflowing cup last week. I wasn't feeling the excitement of what I'm doing anymore.
Not today
To be fair to myself, I was feeling a bit burnt out as well. The drill of the accounts month end closing was pushing me to the edge, while at the same time, my colleague-from-hell never failed to drive me up the wall. I've reflected on my perception of her as well, and I felt perhaps I've been a bit harsh with the way I treated her. We had a blow-up two weeks ago, and in my frustration I said some things which I wish I hadn’t. She was very defensive mind you, and wasn’t willing to take any of my criticism without a fight. I think most people like her are like that. Granted, she has also successfully driven other people in the office up the wall too, and even my boss has begun to lash the whip a little bit when dealing with her. Again, I'm not saying that I will just live with her lackadaisical attitude, rather I'm not going to let it get to me as much. Life is too precious and too short to let some egg-headed person to mess with it.
The last couple of weeks have also seen my weight ballooning by quite a bit. I have to admit that when I'm going through a difficult time, I tend to resort to food. Sweet, greasy, and fatty food specifically. Perhaps it is my way of fulfilling myself when I don't feel as fulfilled with some other aspects of my life, serving like some sort of escapade for me. Some other people do it differently. Women are well known to resort to shopping , and I used to know a techy-nerd friend of mine who went on to buy himself a palm-cum-organiser when going through the same phase. Escapades such as these are meant to be temporary only. And in my case at least, it has been 4kgs too long. Yup, I've been the reincarnation of a hippo this last couple of weeks.
So today shall mark as yet another turning point for me. In fact, I believe that our lives are filled with turning points, only that some points are bigger and momentous than others. Momentous ones will be moments like graduating from university, grand achievements or recoveries that would shape your perception on a grand scale. Those happens rather far and few in between. But it is the smaller turning points like the revelation from my recent soul searching episode that usually sustains us on a more frequent basis, and reminds us to have our feet on the ground, when some distractions tend to get to our heads.
I am happy to say that my optimism is back. I feel once again ready to hold any bull by it's horns. Let's hope it's enough to help me shed a couple of kilos as well.
It's another Monday morning, and up to this point at least, I'm glad to say that I'm not feeling as much blues as I usually do on this day. The experience of last week when i felt mostly like a zombie throughout the whole week had made me to reflect on my perception of myself, work, and life in general. And among other things, I've realised that perhaps the reason why I felt so lousy and bored at work last week was because I was beginning to feel too big or too good for the work I'm doing now. Bruce Lee once said, empty your cup, and it shall be filled. And with respect to this metaphore, I must have been like an overflowing cup last week. I wasn't feeling the excitement of what I'm doing anymore.
Not today
To be fair to myself, I was feeling a bit burnt out as well. The drill of the accounts month end closing was pushing me to the edge, while at the same time, my colleague-from-hell never failed to drive me up the wall. I've reflected on my perception of her as well, and I felt perhaps I've been a bit harsh with the way I treated her. We had a blow-up two weeks ago, and in my frustration I said some things which I wish I hadn’t. She was very defensive mind you, and wasn’t willing to take any of my criticism without a fight. I think most people like her are like that. Granted, she has also successfully driven other people in the office up the wall too, and even my boss has begun to lash the whip a little bit when dealing with her. Again, I'm not saying that I will just live with her lackadaisical attitude, rather I'm not going to let it get to me as much. Life is too precious and too short to let some egg-headed person to mess with it.
The last couple of weeks have also seen my weight ballooning by quite a bit. I have to admit that when I'm going through a difficult time, I tend to resort to food. Sweet, greasy, and fatty food specifically. Perhaps it is my way of fulfilling myself when I don't feel as fulfilled with some other aspects of my life, serving like some sort of escapade for me. Some other people do it differently. Women are well known to resort to shopping , and I used to know a techy-nerd friend of mine who went on to buy himself a palm-cum-organiser when going through the same phase. Escapades such as these are meant to be temporary only. And in my case at least, it has been 4kgs too long. Yup, I've been the reincarnation of a hippo this last couple of weeks.
So today shall mark as yet another turning point for me. In fact, I believe that our lives are filled with turning points, only that some points are bigger and momentous than others. Momentous ones will be moments like graduating from university, grand achievements or recoveries that would shape your perception on a grand scale. Those happens rather far and few in between. But it is the smaller turning points like the revelation from my recent soul searching episode that usually sustains us on a more frequent basis, and reminds us to have our feet on the ground, when some distractions tend to get to our heads.
I am happy to say that my optimism is back. I feel once again ready to hold any bull by it's horns. Let's hope it's enough to help me shed a couple of kilos as well.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Has Anyone Found A Misplaced Soul?
Has Anyone Found A Misplaced Soul?
...because I feel like I have misplaced mine. For the last couple of weeks, I can’t help but feeling like a zombie, moving around not quite aimlessly, but without as much purpose and intent as I would like myself to be. I feel like I’ve been living this last couple of weeks with not so much drive and passion as I would normally be. And when I’ve lost the drive, my judgements tend to be poorer, and I tend to make more mistakes. I’m beginning to place less value on many things that I’m doing. I just feel like saying ‘f**k it’ to most things at the moment.
Been trying to analyse the situation. On the career front, work continues to be the serial-murderer it has always been. I have been doing accounts reconciliation work too much that I just feel like vomitting if I have to do it again. I have two more reports due by the 15th of this month. And to get myself to meet that deadlines is like trying to push a sleeping hippo to do it’s annual physical exercise. It feels like a task of gigantic proportion. How am I supposed to come up with reports when I don’t feel like doing them at the moment? I’m beginning to sense the creeping of a panic attack here. Help!
I think I’m bored. Or maybe overworked. There are thousands of things I could think of doing rather than being in the office today. And top of my list would be to just lie down and sleep for as long as I want. To be in a place where no one will find me to ask about some reports or numbers that I’ve prepared for them. Where I won’t have to worry about job assessments. Where no one talks about work and deadlines. At the moment, even staring at a plain empty wall sounds attractive than being here.
I used to just eat more than I usually do whenever I feel this way. But after gaining almost 3 kilos in 2 weeks now, nothing else has improved apart from the weight. Dang… been stuffing on food suppossedly to have the chemicals to make you happy like chocolates and cakes of late. I’ve come to realise that’s probably not the right solution when my trousers suddenly became tighter than the belt I’m wearing.
Ok la.. let’s see if a cup of San Francisco’s Coffee mocha would do the trick. If that still doesn’t do it for me, maybe a long vacation is the answer. If only I have that many leaves left to take… boo hoo!
In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head,
In your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, dou, dou, dou, dou, dou...
- Zombie, Cranberries -
...because I feel like I have misplaced mine. For the last couple of weeks, I can’t help but feeling like a zombie, moving around not quite aimlessly, but without as much purpose and intent as I would like myself to be. I feel like I’ve been living this last couple of weeks with not so much drive and passion as I would normally be. And when I’ve lost the drive, my judgements tend to be poorer, and I tend to make more mistakes. I’m beginning to place less value on many things that I’m doing. I just feel like saying ‘f**k it’ to most things at the moment.
Been trying to analyse the situation. On the career front, work continues to be the serial-murderer it has always been. I have been doing accounts reconciliation work too much that I just feel like vomitting if I have to do it again. I have two more reports due by the 15th of this month. And to get myself to meet that deadlines is like trying to push a sleeping hippo to do it’s annual physical exercise. It feels like a task of gigantic proportion. How am I supposed to come up with reports when I don’t feel like doing them at the moment? I’m beginning to sense the creeping of a panic attack here. Help!
That looks so tempting...
I think I’m bored. Or maybe overworked. There are thousands of things I could think of doing rather than being in the office today. And top of my list would be to just lie down and sleep for as long as I want. To be in a place where no one will find me to ask about some reports or numbers that I’ve prepared for them. Where I won’t have to worry about job assessments. Where no one talks about work and deadlines. At the moment, even staring at a plain empty wall sounds attractive than being here.
I used to just eat more than I usually do whenever I feel this way. But after gaining almost 3 kilos in 2 weeks now, nothing else has improved apart from the weight. Dang… been stuffing on food suppossedly to have the chemicals to make you happy like chocolates and cakes of late. I’ve come to realise that’s probably not the right solution when my trousers suddenly became tighter than the belt I’m wearing.
Ok la.. let’s see if a cup of San Francisco’s Coffee mocha would do the trick. If that still doesn’t do it for me, maybe a long vacation is the answer. If only I have that many leaves left to take… boo hoo!
Sunday, June 26, 2005
It's Raining Babies
It’s Raining Babies
This weekend had been a rather hectic one, and the theme of the weekend certainly evolved around the subject of babies. Both my wife and I began the weekend by making our routine monthly check-up to the gynae on Saturday morning. The pregnancy has now come to its 32nd week, and after this last visit, the routine check-up will be more frequent at once every two weeks.
I think it was the first time that I ever made an appointment with the gynae on a Saturday and the queue to see her was breathlessly long. Our appointment was scheduled at 9.30am, and when I arrived at the allotted time, there must have been like half a dozen couples already there in the waiting room. Dang… and the doctor sort of practices first comes first serve despite the so called appointment that we made. By the time it came to our turn to see her, we had waited for almost 2 hours. That famous Malay phrase ‘penantian itu satu penyiksaan’ could not have felt more true.
I was met with 2 surprises on my visit to the gynae this time. I found out that a friend-colleague of mine was also seeing the same doctor. It was her second routine check-up, and her fetus is now 13 weeks old. It seems that every one of my friends at my age or near my age is having babies these days. I’ve been getting news about this friend or that friend, either informing me of the good news of their conception, or news about the safe delivery of their new born. And on that note, I just received the belated news that my good friend and blog guru Sarini safely gave birth to a baby girl on the 16th June 2005. Congratulations Sarini! May this be the first of many for the both of you. :-)
Oh yeah, and the other surprise was seeing the comedian Azli of the Senario gang in the same place that day. Apparently his wife was due for labour on that day itself. He must have brought his whole clan with him as the place was crowded with his relatives and friends.
Anyway, had another glimpse of our baby when the doctor performed the scan on wifey. I always look forward to this moment when we go for her routine check-up. It gives me the chance to catch a glimpse of our baby, and what the little wonder is doing in mummy’s tummy. I remember seeing the baby on the scan machine for the first time on our first visit to the gynae, and I got excited more than I thought I would. I guess I was still grappling with the reality of my wife being pregnant then, after just being married for just over 2 months (and still grappling with the reality of being a husband), and the experience felt rather surreal. I wasn’t quite sure how to react to the whole pregnancy idea until that day when I saw the fetus, only about 16 weeks old, flailing her arms around in my wife’s tummy. From that day onwards, I got connected to the little one. It was like she was saying hello to me. And she certainly had me at hello...
The baby weighed at 1.864kg, and that’s slightly under the ideal weight of 2kg as the doctor advised us at this stage of the pregnancy. Hmm... I guess I must have not been stuffing wifey enough.. hehe. No worries, said the doctor. I still have enough time to do that. Wife has gained about 13kg so far, and I think she’s getting a bit worried about the weight gain. Hehe... don’t worry dear. You’re still as lovely as the person I married in September last year, if not lovelier.
Anyhow, the rest of our weekend was spent attending toddlers’ birthday parties. As I’ve mentioned in my post on Friday, we had a birthday party to celebrate the birthdays of my nephew and niece, who turned 3, and my younger brother Didi, on Saturday. It occurred to me again that I would soon belong to the bapak budak group. The place was littered with toddlers and babies that you could have been forgiven for thinking they had all fallen from the skies. Man I feel old... And then today, another birthday party, this time another niece’s of mine 1st birthday. It was a good place to exchange notes however, and conversations were naturally engaged about my own upcoming baby and my preparations for the baby’s arrival.
It’s raining babies I tell you. And soon enough, there will be one coming this way, Insya-Allah.
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Amen!
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Amen! OW!
- It's Raining Men, Geri Halliwell -
This weekend had been a rather hectic one, and the theme of the weekend certainly evolved around the subject of babies. Both my wife and I began the weekend by making our routine monthly check-up to the gynae on Saturday morning. The pregnancy has now come to its 32nd week, and after this last visit, the routine check-up will be more frequent at once every two weeks.
I think it was the first time that I ever made an appointment with the gynae on a Saturday and the queue to see her was breathlessly long. Our appointment was scheduled at 9.30am, and when I arrived at the allotted time, there must have been like half a dozen couples already there in the waiting room. Dang… and the doctor sort of practices first comes first serve despite the so called appointment that we made. By the time it came to our turn to see her, we had waited for almost 2 hours. That famous Malay phrase ‘penantian itu satu penyiksaan’ could not have felt more true.
I was met with 2 surprises on my visit to the gynae this time. I found out that a friend-colleague of mine was also seeing the same doctor. It was her second routine check-up, and her fetus is now 13 weeks old. It seems that every one of my friends at my age or near my age is having babies these days. I’ve been getting news about this friend or that friend, either informing me of the good news of their conception, or news about the safe delivery of their new born. And on that note, I just received the belated news that my good friend and blog guru Sarini safely gave birth to a baby girl on the 16th June 2005. Congratulations Sarini! May this be the first of many for the both of you. :-)
Oh yeah, and the other surprise was seeing the comedian Azli of the Senario gang in the same place that day. Apparently his wife was due for labour on that day itself. He must have brought his whole clan with him as the place was crowded with his relatives and friends.
Anyway, had another glimpse of our baby when the doctor performed the scan on wifey. I always look forward to this moment when we go for her routine check-up. It gives me the chance to catch a glimpse of our baby, and what the little wonder is doing in mummy’s tummy. I remember seeing the baby on the scan machine for the first time on our first visit to the gynae, and I got excited more than I thought I would. I guess I was still grappling with the reality of my wife being pregnant then, after just being married for just over 2 months (and still grappling with the reality of being a husband), and the experience felt rather surreal. I wasn’t quite sure how to react to the whole pregnancy idea until that day when I saw the fetus, only about 16 weeks old, flailing her arms around in my wife’s tummy. From that day onwards, I got connected to the little one. It was like she was saying hello to me. And she certainly had me at hello...
The baby weighed at 1.864kg, and that’s slightly under the ideal weight of 2kg as the doctor advised us at this stage of the pregnancy. Hmm... I guess I must have not been stuffing wifey enough.. hehe. No worries, said the doctor. I still have enough time to do that. Wife has gained about 13kg so far, and I think she’s getting a bit worried about the weight gain. Hehe... don’t worry dear. You’re still as lovely as the person I married in September last year, if not lovelier.
Anyhow, the rest of our weekend was spent attending toddlers’ birthday parties. As I’ve mentioned in my post on Friday, we had a birthday party to celebrate the birthdays of my nephew and niece, who turned 3, and my younger brother Didi, on Saturday. It occurred to me again that I would soon belong to the bapak budak group. The place was littered with toddlers and babies that you could have been forgiven for thinking they had all fallen from the skies. Man I feel old... And then today, another birthday party, this time another niece’s of mine 1st birthday. It was a good place to exchange notes however, and conversations were naturally engaged about my own upcoming baby and my preparations for the baby’s arrival.
It’s raining babies I tell you. And soon enough, there will be one coming this way, Insya-Allah.
Friday, June 24, 2005
TGIF!
TGIF!
Before I knew it, it's Friday again. And thank goodness for that. The week flew pretty fast for me, though I did hope that it could have flown by faster. Hehe... was away from the office on Monday and Tuesday attending a budgeting workshop, and lucky when i came into the office on Wednesday, I was not awaited by another mountain of work as I had feared.
The first quarter of the year is usually rather kind for us in accounts, and with the realignment of duties here, I can afford to not get my hands dirty on everything here. Since I will be in charge of reporting only beginning this month, I won't have to worry about the closing process, theoretically speaking. My notorious senior-colleague will be in charge of that beginning this month. When I asked her what her plan was in preparing for this month's closing, she said she'd just follow through from what she did in previous months, which weren't much. And almost immediately she insisted that I hand over everything that I did for previous month ends' closing to her this month. Oookkaayyy... I just hope this month's closing will not be a disaster. Either that, or I would have to do her work for her again.
By the way, today is my younger brother Didi's birthday. Happy 25th birthday bro! And conveniently, he shares his birthday with a niece and nephew of mind, who will be having their 3rd birthday celebration tomorrow. And the good thing about sharing your birthday with young children, especially young children whose parents hold birthday parties for them, is that your birthday gets celebrated too. With a cake, birthday presents and all. Lucky guy. Though i have to admit that my parents did make it a point to buy me a cake for my birthday last year. Very kind and sweet of them, perhaps since it was going to be my last birthday as a bachelor.
Oh well, have a good day ahead all. Aren't we all glad it's Friday? :-)
Before I knew it, it's Friday again. And thank goodness for that. The week flew pretty fast for me, though I did hope that it could have flown by faster. Hehe... was away from the office on Monday and Tuesday attending a budgeting workshop, and lucky when i came into the office on Wednesday, I was not awaited by another mountain of work as I had feared.
The first quarter of the year is usually rather kind for us in accounts, and with the realignment of duties here, I can afford to not get my hands dirty on everything here. Since I will be in charge of reporting only beginning this month, I won't have to worry about the closing process, theoretically speaking. My notorious senior-colleague will be in charge of that beginning this month. When I asked her what her plan was in preparing for this month's closing, she said she'd just follow through from what she did in previous months, which weren't much. And almost immediately she insisted that I hand over everything that I did for previous month ends' closing to her this month. Oookkaayyy... I just hope this month's closing will not be a disaster. Either that, or I would have to do her work for her again.
By the way, today is my younger brother Didi's birthday. Happy 25th birthday bro! And conveniently, he shares his birthday with a niece and nephew of mind, who will be having their 3rd birthday celebration tomorrow. And the good thing about sharing your birthday with young children, especially young children whose parents hold birthday parties for them, is that your birthday gets celebrated too. With a cake, birthday presents and all. Lucky guy. Though i have to admit that my parents did make it a point to buy me a cake for my birthday last year. Very kind and sweet of them, perhaps since it was going to be my last birthday as a bachelor.
Oh well, have a good day ahead all. Aren't we all glad it's Friday? :-)
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Letting The Cat Out Of The Bag...
Letting The Cat Out Of The Bag...
I have an announcement to make. I have been keeping the news for quite a while now, biding my time for the right moment to spill it. Not that I want to make a big deal out of it either. The big news is? Both my wife and I are expecting a baby come this August.
So finally I've said it.
Don't get me wrong. I'm as excited as the guy who finally got his full driving licence after driving with a probationary 'P' sticker for 2 years when I first got the news. And just like that guy who finally managed to move on from the ridicule of having that red hot 'P' stuck on the front and back of his car, I would have loved to inform the whole world about this piece of news of joy for me and my wife. But somehow, I just didn't feel right talking about it, especially when the pregnancy was still at its early stages.
For one, I've heard some of the elders said that it is not wise to talk about it so much, or make too big a deal out of it, especially when the pregnancy is still at its early stages. Maybe they felt it sounds a bit boastful or too early to sound the gong and tell the whole world about it, at least not until the pregnancy has come to its last trimester. I guess there is some validity to the argument. It has a 'don't count your chicks before they hatch' ring to it. And even as my wife's come to her last trimester, I've never stopped praying to The Almighty for the good health and being of my beloved wife and baby until the day of the delivery comes. Amiin.
But of course as time progresses it becomes increasingly difficult not to talk about it, or the anticipation of the little one's arrival. Inevitably, I would feel compelled to talk about the preparation for parenthood and a lot of other stories relating to pregnancy and babies. And after doing our first preliminary shopping for baby stuffs today, I felt perhaps it was finally time for me to come out clean about it.
Getting ourselves started on the shopping felt a bit weird. None of us had done this before, obviously, so we weren't quite sure of the essential things to get first. I have been getting some tips from friends who are parents themselves on what to get, and the advices are pretty much the same: ration your purchases ie buy little by little, to go easy on the wallet. The main things to get first would be the essentials, things you would need urgently after the baby's born. So with that in mind, and not to mention that I'm desperately waiting for the next pay day, we bought some diapers, towel, baby wipes, and 2 pairs of baby outfits. Nothing much to get any baby jumping up and down to get excited about, really. The next round of shopping shall take place in 2 weeks, and it promises to be a more exciting outing than the first one. Am thinking of looking around for a baby cot and a small cupboard for the baby's stuffs.
And speaking about cats, my pet cat Neo died yesterday after being run down by a car. Poor cat. You would always be remembered for having foot fetish and play with our feet whenever we do our laundry. And despite the name we gave you, we know now you were never meant to fulfil any prophecy. Nevertheless Neo, you will be missed.
Roger and out.
I have an announcement to make. I have been keeping the news for quite a while now, biding my time for the right moment to spill it. Not that I want to make a big deal out of it either. The big news is? Both my wife and I are expecting a baby come this August.
So finally I've said it.
Don't get me wrong. I'm as excited as the guy who finally got his full driving licence after driving with a probationary 'P' sticker for 2 years when I first got the news. And just like that guy who finally managed to move on from the ridicule of having that red hot 'P' stuck on the front and back of his car, I would have loved to inform the whole world about this piece of news of joy for me and my wife. But somehow, I just didn't feel right talking about it, especially when the pregnancy was still at its early stages.
For one, I've heard some of the elders said that it is not wise to talk about it so much, or make too big a deal out of it, especially when the pregnancy is still at its early stages. Maybe they felt it sounds a bit boastful or too early to sound the gong and tell the whole world about it, at least not until the pregnancy has come to its last trimester. I guess there is some validity to the argument. It has a 'don't count your chicks before they hatch' ring to it. And even as my wife's come to her last trimester, I've never stopped praying to The Almighty for the good health and being of my beloved wife and baby until the day of the delivery comes. Amiin.
But of course as time progresses it becomes increasingly difficult not to talk about it, or the anticipation of the little one's arrival. Inevitably, I would feel compelled to talk about the preparation for parenthood and a lot of other stories relating to pregnancy and babies. And after doing our first preliminary shopping for baby stuffs today, I felt perhaps it was finally time for me to come out clean about it.
Getting ourselves started on the shopping felt a bit weird. None of us had done this before, obviously, so we weren't quite sure of the essential things to get first. I have been getting some tips from friends who are parents themselves on what to get, and the advices are pretty much the same: ration your purchases ie buy little by little, to go easy on the wallet. The main things to get first would be the essentials, things you would need urgently after the baby's born. So with that in mind, and not to mention that I'm desperately waiting for the next pay day, we bought some diapers, towel, baby wipes, and 2 pairs of baby outfits. Nothing much to get any baby jumping up and down to get excited about, really. The next round of shopping shall take place in 2 weeks, and it promises to be a more exciting outing than the first one. Am thinking of looking around for a baby cot and a small cupboard for the baby's stuffs.
And speaking about cats, my pet cat Neo died yesterday after being run down by a car. Poor cat. You would always be remembered for having foot fetish and play with our feet whenever we do our laundry. And despite the name we gave you, we know now you were never meant to fulfil any prophecy. Nevertheless Neo, you will be missed.
Roger and out.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
A Reflection
A Reflection
I just got back from a good half hour of jogging. Boy it makes me feel good. Have not had any decent exercise since I began enslaving myself to my ACCA revision a couple of weeks ago. Despite having much more work to do at the office, I decided to put all the work aside and had the much needed exercise.
I have to admit, I've been pretty disappointed with myself this week. With my bosses and most people away from the office since Monday, I had planned to do some catching up with work and get myself ahead. Work had piled up rather consistently, and I have to say that I've been lagging at least a week or two. But with the absence of people in the office, and hence resulting a lack of activities, I had become a bit relaxed and before I know it, people will be coming back to the office tomorrow. Suddenly I feel like the rabbit that loses its lead to the turtle in a race... blimey.
And then there's that notorious colleague of mine. No, no... this is not another bitching exercise. Like I've said, I'm not really used to the practice of bitching about another person, and personally I can't keep any ill feeling towards someone without getting myself distracted from getting on with my life. Whenever I do have this kind of sentiment towards someone, things will start going wrong for me, and I will not be at my best. I will start making more mistakes, losing my sharpness at work, not to mention losing my temper more easily, and suddenly I realise that I'm not that much better of a person either compared to the person I'm complaining about.
Hence I've realised, as I often have in similar cases in the past, I would need to look deeper inside at my own weaknesses, and remind myself that I'm not without the many faults I hate others for either. And perhaps I should be more forgiving to this person. By saying this I'm not going to let the wrong things she's doing to just go on happening. When pointing at other people's mistakes, people rarely realise the fine line between correcting the person and ostracising them. And I feel perhaps I've been doing the latter rather more aggresively than I've ever had. I should therefore put this behind me and deal this better like a man.
Now you see the wonders a half hour jog could do to a man's senses.
I just got back from a good half hour of jogging. Boy it makes me feel good. Have not had any decent exercise since I began enslaving myself to my ACCA revision a couple of weeks ago. Despite having much more work to do at the office, I decided to put all the work aside and had the much needed exercise.
I have to admit, I've been pretty disappointed with myself this week. With my bosses and most people away from the office since Monday, I had planned to do some catching up with work and get myself ahead. Work had piled up rather consistently, and I have to say that I've been lagging at least a week or two. But with the absence of people in the office, and hence resulting a lack of activities, I had become a bit relaxed and before I know it, people will be coming back to the office tomorrow. Suddenly I feel like the rabbit that loses its lead to the turtle in a race... blimey.
And then there's that notorious colleague of mine. No, no... this is not another bitching exercise. Like I've said, I'm not really used to the practice of bitching about another person, and personally I can't keep any ill feeling towards someone without getting myself distracted from getting on with my life. Whenever I do have this kind of sentiment towards someone, things will start going wrong for me, and I will not be at my best. I will start making more mistakes, losing my sharpness at work, not to mention losing my temper more easily, and suddenly I realise that I'm not that much better of a person either compared to the person I'm complaining about.
Hence I've realised, as I often have in similar cases in the past, I would need to look deeper inside at my own weaknesses, and remind myself that I'm not without the many faults I hate others for either. And perhaps I should be more forgiving to this person. By saying this I'm not going to let the wrong things she's doing to just go on happening. When pointing at other people's mistakes, people rarely realise the fine line between correcting the person and ostracising them. And I feel perhaps I've been doing the latter rather more aggresively than I've ever had. I should therefore put this behind me and deal this better like a man.
Now you see the wonders a half hour jog could do to a man's senses.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Nobody Likes A Whiner
Nobody Likes A Whiner
Lately, I’ve been very pi**ed off with a particular colleague of mine. She’s not really a colleague mind you, but someone in a position more senior than mine. And my function serves, or used to serve, as a supplemnt to her position. With foresight, I feel it’s kinda weird that my department are taking someone from outside to do a job that I have more experience and know-how to do, with I having carried out the supporting role for the job for the last 4 years. But then you don’t question the management’s decision, and I put that down to the possible reason that the management must have thought I was either incapable or unprepared to do the job myself. I’ve always felt I had much more to learn, and perhaps there’s some wisdom in the management’s choice that my limited knowledge could understand. But then, I digress…
My animosity towards this senior of mine has been cumulating ever since her first few months here. It all started fine enough when she joined my department in November 2004, with all the credentials she has to show. She is a certified financial analyst and with some other accounting qualification at hand, and with the prospect of having a qualified professional to work alongside with, I was relishing it. And to be honest, I was feeling a bit intimidated too. Surely, she would bring with her some ideas a person of her qualification would usually do.
The first few months were understandably a transitional period, and expectedly of course, I would have to carry the extra burden that comes with teaching my senior the trades about the job she’s supposed to perform. Honestly, it was a rather humbling experience at first, with her commenting that the current system is so inefficient that so much time and manpower could be saved with some extra initiatives she intends to carry out. Heck, I was even put down by her when we had a financial performance reconciliation meeting with a line department, when she chided me in front of the member from the line department that MY inefficiency was causing unnecessary stress in reconciliation work, and then further made promise to the person that beginning the next month, when she takes full rein of the job, such unnecessary tasks would not happen again. So I was made to look incompetent. Fine. I thought to myself, let’s see how she’d do it.
All these while my discrepancies with the respective line department had been in the region of RM10k, which could be defined as immaterial. My senior was proposing a zero difference, which in reporting for a trading company like this, is extraordinary. So she prepared the financial report for that line department the next month. And the difference was? RM 20 million!
Her first reaction to that huge difference? 'Izwan, check what’s wrong with my numbers. I can’t seem to point where the difference comes from'. You’re talking about RM20 million here makcik, not 20 sen. It’s like not being able to find the Twin Towers when you’re in KL. And so I redid the report that she prepared. And beginning that month itself, she told me to carry on with the reporting as she began to dislike the person from that line department that we had a meeting with the previous month. She said ‘he’s too pushy, asking too many questions about the report’. Well if my accounts you prepared showed a RM20 million difference, I would ask a million of questions too!
Things went pretty much downhill from then. She wasn’t taking charge of things that she’s supposed to. And what annoys me the most is that, she would do some shoddy work with reports in a split second without even verifying the correctness of the numbers, and then hand them to me to verify and confirm. And that’s pretty much the pattern up until now that I end up doing most of the reports, and most of the time correcting the mess that she made.
I blew my top recently though. I had to go on leave for my exams, and I left her some tasks which were urgent for submission while I was away. When I came back to the office, I was horrified to find out that nothing yet was done. When I confronted her, she claimed our non-exec staffs did not get back to her and informed her what to do, so she did nothing. ‘You waited for instructions from your non-exec staffs? Shouldn’t you be instructing them what to do?’, I fired back. She was adamant the particular non-exec staff was making her life difficult however. Ok la, fine I said…
So I told her to help me do it now, since I had loads of other things I left her to do that were still undone to do. She went on to do what I asked her to do, and again submitted to me haywired numbers. When I confronted her again with this, she said she couldn’t do it any further, as she was already busy with some other tasks at that time, failing to note that sitting next to her cubicle, I couldn’t help noticing her computer screen would always either show the website of some online music, or opened forward e-mail attachments. And on that same ‘busy’ evening of hers, she left the office at 5pm to go for squash practice.
Grrrrrr!!!
And today, as I’m working my a** off to complete the task that she claims she’s too busy to help me with, she’s been out of the office all morning sightseeing at a nearby convention that I would have to skip since I’m NOT TOO BUSY doing my job.
Arrgghhhh!!
My point is, I’m tired of whining about her everyday, and I really hate to whine and bitch about her. It doesn’t feel right, and maybe I should bring the matter up to my boss for his further action on the matter. Another colleague of mine made a comment that I looked busy all the time, and when I responded sarcastically it’s because I’m carrying a deadweight in the office, she countered back by saying ‘that’s what you say. Others might see it differently.’ I take that as a hint that perhaps I’ve whined about the matter too much, and maybe I should put a stop to it. I admit, nobody likes a whiner. Now it’s either I do something about it, or shut up about the matter altogether. And I intend to make this colleague-from-hell of mine to be more accountable for her responsibilities here, some way or another. You just watch…
I know, I know. I shall stop the whining. *Sigh*
Lately, I’ve been very pi**ed off with a particular colleague of mine. She’s not really a colleague mind you, but someone in a position more senior than mine. And my function serves, or used to serve, as a supplemnt to her position. With foresight, I feel it’s kinda weird that my department are taking someone from outside to do a job that I have more experience and know-how to do, with I having carried out the supporting role for the job for the last 4 years. But then you don’t question the management’s decision, and I put that down to the possible reason that the management must have thought I was either incapable or unprepared to do the job myself. I’ve always felt I had much more to learn, and perhaps there’s some wisdom in the management’s choice that my limited knowledge could understand. But then, I digress…
My animosity towards this senior of mine has been cumulating ever since her first few months here. It all started fine enough when she joined my department in November 2004, with all the credentials she has to show. She is a certified financial analyst and with some other accounting qualification at hand, and with the prospect of having a qualified professional to work alongside with, I was relishing it. And to be honest, I was feeling a bit intimidated too. Surely, she would bring with her some ideas a person of her qualification would usually do.
The first few months were understandably a transitional period, and expectedly of course, I would have to carry the extra burden that comes with teaching my senior the trades about the job she’s supposed to perform. Honestly, it was a rather humbling experience at first, with her commenting that the current system is so inefficient that so much time and manpower could be saved with some extra initiatives she intends to carry out. Heck, I was even put down by her when we had a financial performance reconciliation meeting with a line department, when she chided me in front of the member from the line department that MY inefficiency was causing unnecessary stress in reconciliation work, and then further made promise to the person that beginning the next month, when she takes full rein of the job, such unnecessary tasks would not happen again. So I was made to look incompetent. Fine. I thought to myself, let’s see how she’d do it.
All these while my discrepancies with the respective line department had been in the region of RM10k, which could be defined as immaterial. My senior was proposing a zero difference, which in reporting for a trading company like this, is extraordinary. So she prepared the financial report for that line department the next month. And the difference was? RM 20 million!
Her first reaction to that huge difference? 'Izwan, check what’s wrong with my numbers. I can’t seem to point where the difference comes from'. You’re talking about RM20 million here makcik, not 20 sen. It’s like not being able to find the Twin Towers when you’re in KL. And so I redid the report that she prepared. And beginning that month itself, she told me to carry on with the reporting as she began to dislike the person from that line department that we had a meeting with the previous month. She said ‘he’s too pushy, asking too many questions about the report’. Well if my accounts you prepared showed a RM20 million difference, I would ask a million of questions too!
Things went pretty much downhill from then. She wasn’t taking charge of things that she’s supposed to. And what annoys me the most is that, she would do some shoddy work with reports in a split second without even verifying the correctness of the numbers, and then hand them to me to verify and confirm. And that’s pretty much the pattern up until now that I end up doing most of the reports, and most of the time correcting the mess that she made.
I blew my top recently though. I had to go on leave for my exams, and I left her some tasks which were urgent for submission while I was away. When I came back to the office, I was horrified to find out that nothing yet was done. When I confronted her, she claimed our non-exec staffs did not get back to her and informed her what to do, so she did nothing. ‘You waited for instructions from your non-exec staffs? Shouldn’t you be instructing them what to do?’, I fired back. She was adamant the particular non-exec staff was making her life difficult however. Ok la, fine I said…
So I told her to help me do it now, since I had loads of other things I left her to do that were still undone to do. She went on to do what I asked her to do, and again submitted to me haywired numbers. When I confronted her again with this, she said she couldn’t do it any further, as she was already busy with some other tasks at that time, failing to note that sitting next to her cubicle, I couldn’t help noticing her computer screen would always either show the website of some online music, or opened forward e-mail attachments. And on that same ‘busy’ evening of hers, she left the office at 5pm to go for squash practice.
Grrrrrr!!!
And today, as I’m working my a** off to complete the task that she claims she’s too busy to help me with, she’s been out of the office all morning sightseeing at a nearby convention that I would have to skip since I’m NOT TOO BUSY doing my job.
Arrgghhhh!!
My point is, I’m tired of whining about her everyday, and I really hate to whine and bitch about her. It doesn’t feel right, and maybe I should bring the matter up to my boss for his further action on the matter. Another colleague of mine made a comment that I looked busy all the time, and when I responded sarcastically it’s because I’m carrying a deadweight in the office, she countered back by saying ‘that’s what you say. Others might see it differently.’ I take that as a hint that perhaps I’ve whined about the matter too much, and maybe I should put a stop to it. I admit, nobody likes a whiner. Now it’s either I do something about it, or shut up about the matter altogether. And I intend to make this colleague-from-hell of mine to be more accountable for her responsibilities here, some way or another. You just watch…
I know, I know. I shall stop the whining. *Sigh*
Monday, June 13, 2005
Not Another Manic Monday
Not Another Manic Monday
It's just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my funday
An I-don't-have-to-run day
It's just another manic Monday
- Manic Monday, Bangles -
It doesn't really feel like a Monday morning today. Most probably due to almost 90% of the office people being away today, on duty for this annual convention that the company I work for organise. I've been wanting to volunteer for the conference since the day I started work here, but there has always been something to stop me from being available to participate. The first year was due to some misunderstanding between myself and the organising committee, and my name got left out at the finalisation of names of participants. Ever since then, my non-participation have been largely due to busy work schedule and I feel even the boss has reservations about me participating. Oh well, I guess I won't mind. It should ensure me a relatively peaceful few days in the office, until the convention ends in 3 days.
Spent the weekend lazing around and not doing much. It felt like a sinful luxury, what after the weeks of exertions preparing for my ACCA exams. The highlight of the weekend was probably attending my cousin's wedding in Subang Jaya. My, listening to the sound of kompangs and seeing the bride and groom walk up the aisle brings back sweet memories of my own wedding all over again. Like I told wifey, it feels only like yesterday when we were just married. Hehe...
The wedding was ok. It is unfortunate however, that some bad feelings were generated from the whole affair. I guess since I belong to the 2nd generation in the family, I might not have felt the pang so much that have come out from the controversies that had arisen. I do not want to speak ill of anyone, and I think it's suffice to say that some matters relating to family affairs could have been done better. I'm not telling people how the whole function should have been conducted, but when one side of the family felt they were being deliberatly marginalised in favour of the other, you can't help feeling unwanted. And then setting up rules like no children under the age of 8 should be brought to the hotel function. That basically ruled out almost 60% of my relatives, and in the end many others just chose to stay away altogether. It is a bit sad that such a sacred event like a wedding becomes a cause for ill-feeling, especially within a family. Many lessons can be gained from here.
Oh well...
The morning's still young, and apart from the rain outside, the signs are today is not going to be like another manic Monday. And in such rarities, I don't have to wish it was Sunday. :-)
Have a good week ahead people!
It's just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my funday
An I-don't-have-to-run day
It's just another manic Monday
- Manic Monday, Bangles -
It doesn't really feel like a Monday morning today. Most probably due to almost 90% of the office people being away today, on duty for this annual convention that the company I work for organise. I've been wanting to volunteer for the conference since the day I started work here, but there has always been something to stop me from being available to participate. The first year was due to some misunderstanding between myself and the organising committee, and my name got left out at the finalisation of names of participants. Ever since then, my non-participation have been largely due to busy work schedule and I feel even the boss has reservations about me participating. Oh well, I guess I won't mind. It should ensure me a relatively peaceful few days in the office, until the convention ends in 3 days.
Spent the weekend lazing around and not doing much. It felt like a sinful luxury, what after the weeks of exertions preparing for my ACCA exams. The highlight of the weekend was probably attending my cousin's wedding in Subang Jaya. My, listening to the sound of kompangs and seeing the bride and groom walk up the aisle brings back sweet memories of my own wedding all over again. Like I told wifey, it feels only like yesterday when we were just married. Hehe...
The wedding was ok. It is unfortunate however, that some bad feelings were generated from the whole affair. I guess since I belong to the 2nd generation in the family, I might not have felt the pang so much that have come out from the controversies that had arisen. I do not want to speak ill of anyone, and I think it's suffice to say that some matters relating to family affairs could have been done better. I'm not telling people how the whole function should have been conducted, but when one side of the family felt they were being deliberatly marginalised in favour of the other, you can't help feeling unwanted. And then setting up rules like no children under the age of 8 should be brought to the hotel function. That basically ruled out almost 60% of my relatives, and in the end many others just chose to stay away altogether. It is a bit sad that such a sacred event like a wedding becomes a cause for ill-feeling, especially within a family. Many lessons can be gained from here.
Oh well...
The morning's still young, and apart from the rain outside, the signs are today is not going to be like another manic Monday. And in such rarities, I don't have to wish it was Sunday. :-)
Have a good week ahead people!
Friday, June 10, 2005
Merdeka! Merdeka!
Merdeka! Merdeka!
The late Tunku after passing his ACCA exams...
Do not adjust your wristwatches or even your calendar. It is not yet the 31st August and yet another celebration of Malaysia's independence day. It is however a celebration of independence of sort for me, as I've finally finished the last of my 2 ACCA papers this last Wednesday. Well, I can't really say that everything is done and over with yet as I still have 8 more papers to sit for, assuming I pass the 2 papers I sat for this time. Classes for the December examination should begin sometime in July. Nevertheless, I'm going to bask in this moment of temporary freedom while it lasts. Ahhhh....
So how did it go? Well, I'm happy to say that I think it went okay. My exam answers weren't exactly award-winning material, but I think I've done enough to realistically hope for a pass. Yep, a pass is all I need. Gone are the days when I used to come home from an exam going through my class notes and textbooks checking whether I've given the right answers in the exam, and then estimating what score I would probably be getting. And in those days, anything less than 90% was considered as a disappointment. These days, even the passing mark of 50% is considered such a sacred number that I would happily accept it if someone had told me before the exam that's the score I would be getting. Boy, how time has changed.
Doing my studies part time has opened my eyes to a few things which I used to take for granted. One of them is how much time a full time student has in his hands to prepare for the exams, compared to us part timers. Having to do it part time, I've had to plan my revision time properly, and squeeze it through my busy work and social schedule. And it is even more difficult than I make it sound. Like I've mentioned before, it is the last thing that you fancy, to open your 300 over pages textbook, together with your yellow-colored highlighted class notes, after you've just had a long day at the office. And in my case, when I say long days at the office, I literally mean it. I can count with the fingers on my right hand of the number of days I've actually left the office before 6pm in a year.
As much as I dread it, that's exactly what I've forced myself to do this last couple of weeks. Been staying till past midnight on some ocassions worming my textbooks and highlighting lines on my class notes. It requires quite a considerable amount of mental strength to get myself doing all that.
Come to think of it, the revision doesn't feel so bad after you've survived the first hour of it. And even more so, it could sometime prove difficult to switch off your head when going to bed later in the night. It is the next morning when the real test sets in, when you have to wake up. And knowing you'd have to go through the same routine all over again.
Until of course, the end of the exams. Which is why I'm rejoicing this moment so much, temporary though it might be.
Before walking into the exams hall, you can see all sorts of emotions visible on the faces of the candidates. There were the confident ones, those with the relaxed eyebrows and slight smile, a reflection of quiet confidence. These kinds of people are ready for anything you throw them, and therefore are peace in mind. And then there are those who spot questions, and have that slightly wary look about them. The forehead is slightly stretched, as the eyebrows are dragged to the centre of their faces by the tension. "If they start asking about question A rather than question B, I'm gonna be dead meat" is the favourite theme in these people's minds.
And then there are those who are totally unprepared for it. This group can be divided into 2 though: 1. The first is the one with the deceptive smile, one which makes you think they're prepared. The smile in fact is just a sign of calm resignation, knowing that all the worries in the world would not help to serve the cause in the next few hours of the exams; 2. The second is the remorseful type, and you will see they have that sorry "I promise to myself I would not get myself in this situation again in the future" look. This 2nd type is more optimistic however, and they're the ones who first come up with the phrase "it might not be as bad as you think". They believe in miracles, and however dismal their performance in the exam might be, still hopeful for the improbable.
My exams result will come out in August. And I am counting on it to be a month of multiple celebrations for me. Amiin.
The late Tunku after passing his ACCA exams...
Do not adjust your wristwatches or even your calendar. It is not yet the 31st August and yet another celebration of Malaysia's independence day. It is however a celebration of independence of sort for me, as I've finally finished the last of my 2 ACCA papers this last Wednesday. Well, I can't really say that everything is done and over with yet as I still have 8 more papers to sit for, assuming I pass the 2 papers I sat for this time. Classes for the December examination should begin sometime in July. Nevertheless, I'm going to bask in this moment of temporary freedom while it lasts. Ahhhh....
So how did it go? Well, I'm happy to say that I think it went okay. My exam answers weren't exactly award-winning material, but I think I've done enough to realistically hope for a pass. Yep, a pass is all I need. Gone are the days when I used to come home from an exam going through my class notes and textbooks checking whether I've given the right answers in the exam, and then estimating what score I would probably be getting. And in those days, anything less than 90% was considered as a disappointment. These days, even the passing mark of 50% is considered such a sacred number that I would happily accept it if someone had told me before the exam that's the score I would be getting. Boy, how time has changed.
Doing my studies part time has opened my eyes to a few things which I used to take for granted. One of them is how much time a full time student has in his hands to prepare for the exams, compared to us part timers. Having to do it part time, I've had to plan my revision time properly, and squeeze it through my busy work and social schedule. And it is even more difficult than I make it sound. Like I've mentioned before, it is the last thing that you fancy, to open your 300 over pages textbook, together with your yellow-colored highlighted class notes, after you've just had a long day at the office. And in my case, when I say long days at the office, I literally mean it. I can count with the fingers on my right hand of the number of days I've actually left the office before 6pm in a year.
As much as I dread it, that's exactly what I've forced myself to do this last couple of weeks. Been staying till past midnight on some ocassions worming my textbooks and highlighting lines on my class notes. It requires quite a considerable amount of mental strength to get myself doing all that.
Come to think of it, the revision doesn't feel so bad after you've survived the first hour of it. And even more so, it could sometime prove difficult to switch off your head when going to bed later in the night. It is the next morning when the real test sets in, when you have to wake up. And knowing you'd have to go through the same routine all over again.
Until of course, the end of the exams. Which is why I'm rejoicing this moment so much, temporary though it might be.
Before walking into the exams hall, you can see all sorts of emotions visible on the faces of the candidates. There were the confident ones, those with the relaxed eyebrows and slight smile, a reflection of quiet confidence. These kinds of people are ready for anything you throw them, and therefore are peace in mind. And then there are those who spot questions, and have that slightly wary look about them. The forehead is slightly stretched, as the eyebrows are dragged to the centre of their faces by the tension. "If they start asking about question A rather than question B, I'm gonna be dead meat" is the favourite theme in these people's minds.
And then there are those who are totally unprepared for it. This group can be divided into 2 though: 1. The first is the one with the deceptive smile, one which makes you think they're prepared. The smile in fact is just a sign of calm resignation, knowing that all the worries in the world would not help to serve the cause in the next few hours of the exams; 2. The second is the remorseful type, and you will see they have that sorry "I promise to myself I would not get myself in this situation again in the future" look. This 2nd type is more optimistic however, and they're the ones who first come up with the phrase "it might not be as bad as you think". They believe in miracles, and however dismal their performance in the exam might be, still hopeful for the improbable.
My exams result will come out in August. And I am counting on it to be a month of multiple celebrations for me. Amiin.
Monday, May 30, 2005
Baby Hannah
Baby Hannah
I had promised to put up pictures of my baby niece a couple of months ago when she was born. What with my limited knowledge of uploading pictures on the net, and my own lack of a camera to take pictures with, I've been unable to do so. Until today that is.
Since then, my brother has taught me the whole new world of uploading pictures into my blog. I guess some of you would have noticed the sudden bloom of pictures available in here recently. It's a development you could associate with my jakunnes. Hehe... and then recently I've taken the liberty to buy myself a thumb drive, perhaps the most significant step I've taken in my quest to be a more IT literate person. A pittance of an investment to some, but a huge step in IT investment for me. I'm learning something new everyday. But then, I seem to digress...
Here's a series of some of Hannah's pictures, since the first few days she was born, until today. I tell you, she's been a bundle of joy in the house for everyone. Though she might not be the only one for long now. Someone else is on the way I hear you ask? Well, that's another story for another time I guess... ;-).
For now, introducing my cute niece to the world!
Hope you ohh-ed and ahh-ad as much as we have. :-).
I had promised to put up pictures of my baby niece a couple of months ago when she was born. What with my limited knowledge of uploading pictures on the net, and my own lack of a camera to take pictures with, I've been unable to do so. Until today that is.
Since then, my brother has taught me the whole new world of uploading pictures into my blog. I guess some of you would have noticed the sudden bloom of pictures available in here recently. It's a development you could associate with my jakunnes. Hehe... and then recently I've taken the liberty to buy myself a thumb drive, perhaps the most significant step I've taken in my quest to be a more IT literate person. A pittance of an investment to some, but a huge step in IT investment for me. I'm learning something new everyday. But then, I seem to digress...
Here's a series of some of Hannah's pictures, since the first few days she was born, until today. I tell you, she's been a bundle of joy in the house for everyone. Though she might not be the only one for long now. Someone else is on the way I hear you ask? Well, that's another story for another time I guess... ;-).
For now, introducing my cute niece to the world!
"Whatcha looking at?!" On her 2nd day. Showing her attitude look only my sister could do better.
"Hi mama!" This kid knows how to look adorable.
"Is this for the latest issue of Babies Times Pak Ngah?" Her features resembles many of my brother in law's. Future Daddy's girl I see.
"Come ere you. I'll give you a gentle head butt!!".
"Enough with the modelling Pak Ngah. I'm sleepyyy.....zzzzzzzzzzzz...". When sleeping however, she looks like a small copy of my sister.
Hope you ohh-ed and ahh-ad as much as we have. :-).
Sunday, May 29, 2005
A Hair Raising Experience
A Hair Raising Experience
Been spending the whole weekend preparing myself for my ACCA exams in a week’s time. I tell you, it’s a struggle. After a long week of grueling work at the office, your mind does not really fancy another grueling weekend hitting the books. To be honest, I am beginning to feel that studying probably takes more hard work than your usual routine work at the office. While office work can become routine after a while, and with routine comes comfort at the regularity, studying means having to know and understand something new. And of course not to mention, the classic dreadful feeling of having to be examined on them.
Einstein once said that the average human being only utilise up to ten per cent of their brain capabilities. Maybe there is some truth in that. In pushing myself to do as much revision as possible these past weekends, my body metabolism was so high that I think my body lost as much water revising over 6 hours as I would jogging for an hour. Even after drinking jug after jug of water, I wasn’t making as many trips to the loo as I would usually do under normal circumstances. It felt like I was risking overheating my brain as I attempted to go over the average brain speed norm of ten per cent. I think I must have hit 10.5% max.
I once heard that after Einstein passed away, his brain was retained for research, to find out what the brain of someone of his genius is made of. What they found out was the mucus (or something that separates the cortex of our brains, I’m not sure of the right term used to describe it. My science has always been a bit hazy) that separates his right and left brain was almost non existent, that it practically enabled Einstein to use the functions associated with the respective hemispheres of his brain to the fullest. Electric signals could be transmitted faster between the 2 cortex of his brains, which is not just essential for quick thinking and decision making, but also made him a very creative person. His brain was therefore a sizzling data processing machine, which probably explains the electric-charged hair-do he is usually spotted with in his famous pictures.
My hair’s still down, so I guess I’ve not done enough revision as I’m supposed to. Until the day of my exams next week, it is going to be a loooong and hair-raising journey for me.
We use ten per cent of our brains. Imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other 60 per cent.
Ellen Degeneres, The Beginning
Been spending the whole weekend preparing myself for my ACCA exams in a week’s time. I tell you, it’s a struggle. After a long week of grueling work at the office, your mind does not really fancy another grueling weekend hitting the books. To be honest, I am beginning to feel that studying probably takes more hard work than your usual routine work at the office. While office work can become routine after a while, and with routine comes comfort at the regularity, studying means having to know and understand something new. And of course not to mention, the classic dreadful feeling of having to be examined on them.
Einstein once said that the average human being only utilise up to ten per cent of their brain capabilities. Maybe there is some truth in that. In pushing myself to do as much revision as possible these past weekends, my body metabolism was so high that I think my body lost as much water revising over 6 hours as I would jogging for an hour. Even after drinking jug after jug of water, I wasn’t making as many trips to the loo as I would usually do under normal circumstances. It felt like I was risking overheating my brain as I attempted to go over the average brain speed norm of ten per cent. I think I must have hit 10.5% max.
I once heard that after Einstein passed away, his brain was retained for research, to find out what the brain of someone of his genius is made of. What they found out was the mucus (or something that separates the cortex of our brains, I’m not sure of the right term used to describe it. My science has always been a bit hazy) that separates his right and left brain was almost non existent, that it practically enabled Einstein to use the functions associated with the respective hemispheres of his brain to the fullest. Electric signals could be transmitted faster between the 2 cortex of his brains, which is not just essential for quick thinking and decision making, but also made him a very creative person. His brain was therefore a sizzling data processing machine, which probably explains the electric-charged hair-do he is usually spotted with in his famous pictures.
That electric-charged hair-do is probably due to brain overheating
My hair’s still down, so I guess I’ve not done enough revision as I’m supposed to. Until the day of my exams next week, it is going to be a loooong and hair-raising journey for me.
Friday, May 27, 2005
The Case of The Missing Comments...
The Case of The Missing Comments...
My enetation comment has somehow mysteriously disappeared. When I first noticed it on Tuesday, I had dismissed it to the ocassional glitch that enetation usually offers you. But when it kept on disappearing till today, I was beginning to feel a bit exasperated. Something felt missing in the The One's blog make-up, and it was just like missing a set of old good furniture in the house.
So I contacted my blog guru and got her help to check the problem. I had suspected that maybe I had accidentally tampered with the template over last weekend, and as a result screwed up the comment template. My guru however informed me that this wasn't the case. The enetation comment just didn't want to appear. Maybe blogger felt it was about time people having blogs with them started using their own comment engine. So good ol' Sarini helped me put up the blogger's comment. It's ok I guess, but it just feels different. Just like getting a new set of furniture, the eyes just have to get used to the new look.
Enetation, you will be missed. Tsskkk...
My enetation comment has somehow mysteriously disappeared. When I first noticed it on Tuesday, I had dismissed it to the ocassional glitch that enetation usually offers you. But when it kept on disappearing till today, I was beginning to feel a bit exasperated. Something felt missing in the The One's blog make-up, and it was just like missing a set of old good furniture in the house.
So I contacted my blog guru and got her help to check the problem. I had suspected that maybe I had accidentally tampered with the template over last weekend, and as a result screwed up the comment template. My guru however informed me that this wasn't the case. The enetation comment just didn't want to appear. Maybe blogger felt it was about time people having blogs with them started using their own comment engine. So good ol' Sarini helped me put up the blogger's comment. It's ok I guess, but it just feels different. Just like getting a new set of furniture, the eyes just have to get used to the new look.
Enetation, you will be missed. Tsskkk...
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Friday, May 20, 2005
Tadaa!!
Tadaa!!
Guess what? See the 'users online' count on the left side of this screen? I've made another leap (by my standards laa..) in improving this blog. Been wanting put the user tracker on my blog for some time now, but I've neither had the time nor the know-how to do it. Been doing some blog hopping and learning to do it by viewing the source of other people's blogs. Don't worry, I wasn't copying anyone's layouts or ideas, I was just learning how some people put up some stuffs and applications on their blogs to make them look interactive. Hopefully I won't get sued for infringement of copyright rules. :p
I've always wondered if there's anyone out there apart from myself that comes by this blog at any one time. It's hard to say, but judging from the lack of comments and tags that I'm getting, the possibility seems to point at none. With this user tracker now, I would at least be able to know for sure. Hehe..
To anyone out there dropping by, would love it if you could leave your footprints here in some way. It would go some way to making the place merrier. ;-)
Night night.
Guess what? See the 'users online' count on the left side of this screen? I've made another leap (by my standards laa..) in improving this blog. Been wanting put the user tracker on my blog for some time now, but I've neither had the time nor the know-how to do it. Been doing some blog hopping and learning to do it by viewing the source of other people's blogs. Don't worry, I wasn't copying anyone's layouts or ideas, I was just learning how some people put up some stuffs and applications on their blogs to make them look interactive. Hopefully I won't get sued for infringement of copyright rules. :p
I've always wondered if there's anyone out there apart from myself that comes by this blog at any one time. It's hard to say, but judging from the lack of comments and tags that I'm getting, the possibility seems to point at none. With this user tracker now, I would at least be able to know for sure. Hehe..
To anyone out there dropping by, would love it if you could leave your footprints here in some way. It would go some way to making the place merrier. ;-)
Night night.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
No, no... this is not a movie review. I think I could leave that part to a lot of other websites on the internet dedicated to the movie. I am not that good at doing reviews anyway, and I might just end up spoiling the story for you given my lack of story telling skills. But just to be on the safe side, there might just be accidental spoilers ahead. So those who have yet to watch the movie, you've been warned.
My general feeling about the movie: it was great, and much better than the first 2 instalments. As I have yet to watch the last 3 episodes of the Star Wars series, I would stop short from saying that this 3rd instalment was the best of em all. Most of you Star Wars fans out there would have figured it out anyway that the 3 prequels were made to tell the story of the making of Darth Vader. So most of the people flocking to the cinema to watch Revenge of The Sith would be anticipating how Anakin finally succumbed to the darkside. Which probably explains why the first 2 intsalments were relative bores. It seems to me like George Lucas might have come up with the story for Revenge first and struggled to make up stories for the first 2 movies to come to the climax. The plot was more purposeful, and the storyline more solid. And the light sabre fighting scenes were awesome.
I could sense how much awaited the Revenge was when the movie started rolling, everyone in the cinema was applauding it. Hehe... to be quiet honest, I actually felt like applauding myself. Before the movie started, I could see some people talking to strangers sitting next to them discussing the movie. It felt like a Star Wars convention of sort, and it was going to be the last. Unless George Lucas comes with more sequels or prequels after this one. Personally, I was thinking it would be rather fun if prequels were made of the making of Yoda. Hehe... just a passing thought.
Possible spoilers ahead. All in all, the movie ended giving me a feel of melancholy. The thought of someone succumbing to the darkside through sacrifice and love for someone does make a great story line for a tragic love story. History have shown in the past how good people have turned bad through sacrifice for loved ones, confusion, and other bad elements taking advantage of other's helplesness. But it does make a great story line. And for that, I think George Lucas have done a great job in making this latest and probably last instalment of Star Wars a very watchable one.
Go and see it!
No, no... this is not a movie review. I think I could leave that part to a lot of other websites on the internet dedicated to the movie. I am not that good at doing reviews anyway, and I might just end up spoiling the story for you given my lack of story telling skills. But just to be on the safe side, there might just be accidental spoilers ahead. So those who have yet to watch the movie, you've been warned.
My general feeling about the movie: it was great, and much better than the first 2 instalments. As I have yet to watch the last 3 episodes of the Star Wars series, I would stop short from saying that this 3rd instalment was the best of em all. Most of you Star Wars fans out there would have figured it out anyway that the 3 prequels were made to tell the story of the making of Darth Vader. So most of the people flocking to the cinema to watch Revenge of The Sith would be anticipating how Anakin finally succumbed to the darkside. Which probably explains why the first 2 intsalments were relative bores. It seems to me like George Lucas might have come up with the story for Revenge first and struggled to make up stories for the first 2 movies to come to the climax. The plot was more purposeful, and the storyline more solid. And the light sabre fighting scenes were awesome.
I could sense how much awaited the Revenge was when the movie started rolling, everyone in the cinema was applauding it. Hehe... to be quiet honest, I actually felt like applauding myself. Before the movie started, I could see some people talking to strangers sitting next to them discussing the movie. It felt like a Star Wars convention of sort, and it was going to be the last. Unless George Lucas comes with more sequels or prequels after this one. Personally, I was thinking it would be rather fun if prequels were made of the making of Yoda. Hehe... just a passing thought.
Possible spoilers ahead. All in all, the movie ended giving me a feel of melancholy. The thought of someone succumbing to the darkside through sacrifice and love for someone does make a great story line for a tragic love story. History have shown in the past how good people have turned bad through sacrifice for loved ones, confusion, and other bad elements taking advantage of other's helplesness. But it does make a great story line. And for that, I think George Lucas have done a great job in making this latest and probably last instalment of Star Wars a very watchable one.
Go and see it!
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Of Competitions and Beauty Pageants
Of Winning Competitions and Beauty Pageants
I can't work. I can't even begin to focus myself to get down to serious work this morning. I feel more like surfing the net in the office (big offense ooo..), or just sit down and do nothing. And the fact that 60% of my colleagues are on leave today probably doesn't help either. And goodness no one has been looking for me yet this morning. It feels kinda tranquil at the moment, though I suspect it's just another calm before the storm. That typifies the job in accounts and finance where our task is pretty much cyclical. Middle of the month, especially the early months of the financial year is whe I'm relatively idle, and it's the perfect time for me to start tidying up my ever-untidy cubicle. When I feel like it...
I guess I know why I find it so hard to focus today. Been a bit side tracked since yesterday when I found out that I am one of the lucky winners of 2 tickets to watch the 3rd part of the Star Wars Trilogy: Revenge of The Sith at KLCC TGV cinema tonight. There was a competition to come up with captions for a picture of Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker slugging it out with their light sabres. Since they were giving away 100 tickets, I just thought, what the heck... I'll just send an entry. They are giving out a 100 tickets, so there's always a good chance of winning anyway. Sent my entry like 2 minutes before the dateline, and wallaa... today I'm one of the lucky winners to the show tonight. Had I have to buy the ticket myself, I would have waited at least 2 weeks after the movie opens in Malaysia before I go and watch it. You know la what the queue is like when a movie of Star Wars' following opens in Malaysia...
Another interesting matter that came to my attention recently which has a slight relation to the subject of winning competitions is the subject of Malaysia's Miss Malaysia / Universe 2004, Ms Andrea Fonseka. I've never been a follower of beauty pageant show, and when they do show it on tv, I would usually catch the end of the show to see who's won it. Since Miss Malaysia in the past (with exception of a few, I think) has rarely managed to progress anywhere beyond the first round, I never got to know how our Miss Malaysia look like. So when I received pictures of her yesterday in my mailbox, I almost thought the picture was a spoof. My first response was, this can't be real. So I made some sleuthing work this morning and surfed the net a bit to find out more about her. My, my... could this really be the most beautiful woman in Malaysia last year?
I can't work. I can't even begin to focus myself to get down to serious work this morning. I feel more like surfing the net in the office (big offense ooo..), or just sit down and do nothing. And the fact that 60% of my colleagues are on leave today probably doesn't help either. And goodness no one has been looking for me yet this morning. It feels kinda tranquil at the moment, though I suspect it's just another calm before the storm. That typifies the job in accounts and finance where our task is pretty much cyclical. Middle of the month, especially the early months of the financial year is whe I'm relatively idle, and it's the perfect time for me to start tidying up my ever-untidy cubicle. When I feel like it...
I guess I know why I find it so hard to focus today. Been a bit side tracked since yesterday when I found out that I am one of the lucky winners of 2 tickets to watch the 3rd part of the Star Wars Trilogy: Revenge of The Sith at KLCC TGV cinema tonight. There was a competition to come up with captions for a picture of Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker slugging it out with their light sabres. Since they were giving away 100 tickets, I just thought, what the heck... I'll just send an entry. They are giving out a 100 tickets, so there's always a good chance of winning anyway. Sent my entry like 2 minutes before the dateline, and wallaa... today I'm one of the lucky winners to the show tonight. Had I have to buy the ticket myself, I would have waited at least 2 weeks after the movie opens in Malaysia before I go and watch it. You know la what the queue is like when a movie of Star Wars' following opens in Malaysia...
Another interesting matter that came to my attention recently which has a slight relation to the subject of winning competitions is the subject of Malaysia's Miss Malaysia / Universe 2004, Ms Andrea Fonseka. I've never been a follower of beauty pageant show, and when they do show it on tv, I would usually catch the end of the show to see who's won it. Since Miss Malaysia in the past (with exception of a few, I think) has rarely managed to progress anywhere beyond the first round, I never got to know how our Miss Malaysia look like. So when I received pictures of her yesterday in my mailbox, I almost thought the picture was a spoof. My first response was, this can't be real. So I made some sleuthing work this morning and surfed the net a bit to find out more about her. My, my... could this really be the most beautiful woman in Malaysia last year?
Malaysia's Most Beautiful Woman in 2004?
Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that she's ugly. On any other stage, any male could easily warm up to her typical oriental good looks. However, her physique is not one you would imagine to be strutting on the Miss Universe stage. Some harsh comments have been made about her in the media, and you could also find some bloggers having a field day writing about her. Makes you feel pity for the lass. But come on la, would I ever enrol myself in Mr Malaysia, if I already know so well the only thing that protrudes about me is not even a muscle but some flabby fat hanging above my abdomen? You'd know the answer to that already...
That raises the question whether she knew what she was getting herself into. Or perhaps the more popular question, how did she ever become Miss Malaysia that year? Stories are rife about her connections with the organisers of the Miss Malaysia contest, and that the supposed most beautiful woman of the contest did not win. It's either that, or the standards of the women participating in the contest that year had plummetted to a historical low. The good thing about it though, is that it must have made anybody who is anybody feels like even they could become Miss Malaysia. But on a negative note, imagine the impression that the world audience gets from the globally televised Miss Universe, which is advertised as where The World's Most Beautiful People meet, and find that we're represented by Ms Fonseka. Again, I have nothing against her. I would say again that I think she is an attractive lady in her own right, but a Miss Universe material? Hmmm...
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