Thank God For Handphones...

I've had to send my HTC handphone back to the dealer for another round of repair after my most recent discovery of another problem with the phone. And mind you, i had just got back the phone from the dealer for a couple days for a different problem when that happened. They had detained the phone for 2 weeks then, and i was told it would take another 2 weeks for them to sort this recent problem now. Ridiculous! Until that time, i would just have to be content with my dad's old nokia phone. For all it's bulky and less than stylish appearance, it has at least survived the years and now serving me, albeit temporarily, very well so far.

After i was told that my phone had to be detained again yesterday, i had unwittingly forgot to bring an extra phone as cover. And to make matters more exciting, i was supposed to meet up with my mum and wifey at the shopping mall at a yet to be determined place. They had gone to get the groceries, and we had planned to go for lunch together. And for the first time in many years, i found myself in a now increasingly unfamiliar situation of having to find a pay phone to make a phone call.

I remember the days when hand phones were not yet such a common feature in our lives and pay phone was pretty much your mode of getting in contact whenever you're outside and need to call someone. Even then, you had to make sure the person you're calling is within reach of a fixed phone line. Those days seems like aeons ago now and you can't really imagine the restless feeling of not being able to reach someone just because someone is out of their house or out of the office. Heck, these days you can even get someone on his handphone when he's doing his most intimate business in the toilet, if he chooses to answer your call that is. My point is, the evolution of the phone (and technology in general) has now made it easier for people to get in touch with each other, wherever we may be.

So, here i was in distress looking for a way to get in contact with wifey in this big shopping mall. For a moment i felt a great sense of helplessness, a common anxiety that you get nowadays when you get separated from your handphone. I browsed around the 2 storey shopping mall looking for a pay phone, with little success for over 15 minutes. I even checked the building directory - there were indications of where the toilets and baby changing room were - but there were no signs of any pay phones in the building. I even asked around the patrons of the mall if they had seen and pay phones around, and all i got were stares like i had been Michael J. Fox from the year 1985 in the movie Back To The Future; no one seemed to know what or where the pay phones were. I was about to give up, and approach the mall's information counter to lodge a missing husband / father report when with great relief, i spotted ONE pay phone on the wall near the info counter.

An extinct thing indeed.

I approached the phone with some trepidation - how many pay phones do you usually have to try out before you find one that actually works? - lifted the speaker up, and listened. There was a dialing tone. As luck would have it, i had only 10 cents in coin to have an only chance of contact with wifey. It was either make or break. Never had i felt that 10 cents could have so much value.

I dialed my wife's number and she picked up.

Wifey: Hello?
Me: hi dear. It's me, abang. Where are you now?
Wifey: (with exasperation) where have you been? I've been trying to call you all day!

The pay phone beeped alarmingly, indicating more change is needed for the conversation to continue. Time was running out fast for me. I had to act fast.

Me: sayang, quick tell me where you are..
Wifey: we are at the food court just about to... *beep*... And the line got cut off.

I then made my way to the mall's only food court with such great relief.

Thank god for handphones...

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"My Verdict: The new Yahoo! Mail is far superior..." � The Wall Street Journal.
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Hmmm... Donuts!

I've not been feeling so great of late. My mind has been racing with millions of thoughts since Thursday morning, that whenever i close my eyes, some of those thoughts are so clear i can see them so vividly like in a dream. I wonder whether it's because of what i ate that Wednesday night: an original glazed and a half each of strawberry and hershey sprinkled Krispy Kreme donuts. It was my first ever visit to the donut outlet after hearing much hype about it. The donuts there tasted great, although a bit too sweet though even by my usual high sweet-tooth standard. It probably caused a high sugar rush in my system hence explaining this hyperactive state of mind i'm going through now.

I have been having an inexplicable craving for donuts these last couple of months you can be forgiven for thinking that i'm the one who is pregnant instead of wifey. I have been patronising all the major donut outlets in KL as a result of my craving and from my experience so far i have concluded that the best donuts can be found in the following places, ranked accordingly in terms of of my personal taste:

1. Big Apple
2. J-Co
3. Krispy Kreme
4. Dunkin Donut

Hmmmm...

I think it's time to hit my exercise bicycle...

The Kids Register For School

We finally managed to register the girls for kindergarten last Tuesday after having delayed it for months. The school term had started as early as January, but then since Hannah was due to travel with her parents to Germany in February, we had planned to put it off until March. But work came like tornadoes after that and we never got around to doing it. After much nagging from my mum, we finally got around to set an appointment with the school principal to register the girls. And thank goodness there were still places..

Hannah was buzzing with excitement before we left home for the school that morning, making sure she was wearing / carrying what was appropriate. "Abah, i cannot wear pampers (diapers) to school because otherwise my friends will laugh at me". Talk about peer pressure at such a young age! She then went on talking about what you should and shouldn't be doing at school, telling Insyirah the same. Being a few months younger, Insyirah's reaction to the idea still had a feeling of nonchalance and she was mostly playing on the excitement exhibited by Hannah.

As we got to the school, the sight of other kids in their uniform running about and doing their class activities proved too much to the girls: they asked to don their new pair of uniform as well and even took the chance to join in the classroom session for a bit. Had she be given the choice, Hannah would have wanted to stay on in class for the rest of the day. Insyirah on the other hand had already asked to go home (!), obviously not used to the idea of missing her usual morning routine just yet. Their official first day at school would start in the first week of May. Hannah would just have to be patient till then while wifey and i would have a task in our hands to get Insyirah mentally and physically ready for her new routine of going to school in the morning by then...

p/s: you would have noticed that incomplete version of the above posting was posted a number of times over the last few days. I had attempted to post the posting above via mobile blogging (as has been the case with most of my postings of late) but there seem to have been a bug with the mobile blogging feature. I am still clueless as to the cause of the bug, and the above was finally posted via my laptop.

Talk about an anticlimactic experience...

Arsenal's Kids Fell Short In A Game Of Men

Arsenal were largely disappointing in the quarter final FA Cup game against Chelsea. The players were not just off form on the day, but they were simply poor.

Diaby would take most of the brunt of my complain. I would just stop short of saying he was the reason we lost the game. Posession in the centre of midfield were lost too cheaply by him in defense and while attacking. He was dribbling the ball in places where a pass would have been a better option for both defense and attack. A surprise he stayed on the field till the end.

Fabianski was a bundle of nerves that even a lion in the safari in Africa could have smelt it. His decisions were suspect throughout the game that i had feared we could have lost by more than a goal had Chelsea's strikers had been more accurate. That attempt to save the second goal by Drogba was a shocker. What was he thinking committing himself to Drogba's run with the goal gaping so wide and far behind him?

And why did Arshavin and Nasri only came on so late in the game? What is Wenger saving Arshavin for? He didn't have any game to play last midweek anyway and should have been fit to run Chelsea's defend ragged.

It was just a poor Arsenal side today. To be honest, i didn't mind had the gsme dragged to penalty when the score was still locked at 1-1 as i felt we were nowhere near to scoring again up to that point. They need to grow up some more and be temperamentally ready for big games of such importance.

Hope they've learnt enough from this game to do better in the semis of the Champions League against Man U. They'd better do to avoid this year becoming another failure of trophyless season.

It Was The Worst Of Times...

My life had been going at a frantic place sometime between January and March this year. And as you may suspect, as sad as it sounds, it was all due to office work commitments. It was so bad that I had to stay up as late as after midnight and get up as early as before fajr to make sure I sticked to deadlines. My mind was constantly running financial numbers, analysis that i was even doing them in my sleep. In one instant, i remember falling asleep while working on this one assignment. But my mind had in fact continued thinking and analysing that the moment i figured the answer out in my sleep, i immediately jumped out of bed and continued where i had left off. I was running on adrenaline as much as abundant supplies of high sugar and fatty foods, traditionally known to provide instant boost of energy and release of serotonin to make me last the pace. Yup, ladies and gentlemen, these last 3 months of stress had made pig out like crazy. The maddening place only began to subside recently and i have suddenly found myself in a crisis of motivation all of a sudden. Yup, i too suspect that i'm going through a phase of burnout.

That maddening phase i went through had given me both physical and mental anguish. It sort of made me ask some searching questions about myself: Is this the life i want? Am i really up to the challenge? Am i good enough to even be here? Have i let my superiors and team mates down? How do i really measure against those other young and high flying executives? Will i ever amount to anything one day, both as a person and an employee of this company? What would my family think of me? Those feelings are probably compounded by the fact that some of my peers have already taken the next step in their career progression and gone on to become managers and higher. And to rub salt to the wound, a friend of mine recently got promoted as a direct superior of mine. Really, the way events have developed these last couple of months, i could probably be forgiven for falling into the path of depression once again.

I feel like i've been slowing down of late since those crazy moments. No, work has not significantly reduced since, but i have suddenly developed a couldn't care less attitude. Maybe i'm tired, maybe i've just become deluded. My judgements have been questionable at best, and baffling at its worst. I couldn't even do as simple a task as ordering refreshments for a meeting without mucking up. For a meeting last week, I ordered refreshments for 7 for a 10 people meeting. I couldn't even make simple decisions. And worryingly, i didn't even seem to care. I was already looking forward to the next weekend the moment the week begins. I just abhorred being in the office.

Of course i think my bosses have begun to look worried and become uneasy. My direct bosses have been nothing but supportive, fighting for my case to the ground during my last performance review. I can only hope that i've justified their faith and assessment of me. Sometimes i feel too small for the job, and their trust in me. At worst, i've felt like quitting on the spot rather than face another day of being lost and hampering my self esteem further. It's hard having to continuously meet people's expectation of you when the task feels gargantuan and stretching you all the time...

At the moment, it does seem like there's a glimmer of light at the end of this madness. Honestly, i feel like someone who's just been revived from a KO punch, or maybe like someone who's just recently recovered his sanity. I can feel, think and reason again, albeit slowly, rationalising events that have taken place and their consequences. After going through what i've been through, it has made me to realise how thin the line is between sanity and insanity. I believe i've threaded the line, although how far to the other side i can't be quite certain.

Let's just hope that i will remain on this right side of that line for a lot longer...

A Sleepy Shopper

Insyirah, dozing off in the shopping trolley while we were doing our grocery shopping. Kids get away with taking such power naps whenever their eyes feel like it. The simplicity implied behind their behaviours and actions reflects such purity and innocence, of life yet burdened with responsibilities and problems, of mind yet tainted with troubles and draining thoughts.

How blissfull...

Cheeky Little Monkeys

Hannah and Insyirah posing as Minnie Mouse and Daisy Duck respectively. Was running some chores earlier this afternoon and the 2 insisted to tag along. They turned out to be quite a handful and yours truly ended up feeling a bit stretched at the end of the day. I take my hat off to my mum, who somehow has managed to look after these 2 cheeky girls every day when we're at work. You're the best mum!

A Football Prodigy

I bumped into this piece of news about this new football prodigy, currently plying his shimmying and dazzling dribbling of the ball in France. His name is Madin Mohammed and really amazing bagful of tricks and skills this boy has. The skills he has is way beyond me, even if I spent every day of my working hours of 8am - 5pm 7 days a week, 365 days a year for the rest of my life. Simply incredible, that the media has begun to dub him as the next Zidane. Judging by the skills he shows in the video above, I can't deny that. He gave me thrill doing those mazy dribbles of his the same way I felt when I watched Zidane did a bagful of the same tricks in the Champions League final match between Real Madrid and Juventus in 1997.

Awesome!

A New Pet In The House

I have been wanting to get Insyirah a fish for a pet for some time now. I have noticed that she's taken a particular fondness for our swimming scaly friends of late, most noticeably after she had gotten herself to watch that ultimate movie about fish (for kids at least), Finding Nemo. So, while waiting for our turn in our now monthly appointment to see my wife's doctor on Saturday, we took the opportunity of the long hours of waiting to do a number of chores, which included exploring the fish and aquarium shop that was located not that far from the hospital.

We had intended to get a number of marine fish similar to those fish you find in the aquarium of that dentist in Finding Nemo, but the owner of the pet shop somehow advised against it, reminding us that tending salt water fish is no easy feat and would require us to get a bigger aquarium to make it feasible. Bearing in mind that there's a very distinct possibility that i might be the one ending up having to look after the fish, i thought the advice was rather reasonable. Perhaps it isn't such a bad idea to start with a more common variety of aquarium fish before we venture to the more exotic ones. So we settled for a pair of goldfish, one each for Insyirah and Hannah. The girls somehow typically named the pair Nemo and Dory.

Insyirah and Hannah were predictably excited when i was putting the aquarium up, assisting with filling the tank with water. Since then, they have consistently been checking on the fish. Yesterday evening after we came back late for dinner, Insyirah made sure she stopped by the aquarium to see the fish were doing. She spoke to the fish, sort of asking if they were ok and comfy. After feeling they were ok, she wished them goodnight and turned the lamp of the aquarium off. Half way up to our room however, something seem to have come over her and she stopped in her tracks and went back to the aquarium. Both wifey and i thought her behaviour was rather baffling.

We then heard a clicking sound as though a switch had been turned on. Apparently, Insyirah had gone back to turn the aquarium lights on again.

"Why did you turn the aquarium light back on, sayang?", i asked my daughter gently.

She quipped back, giving a look of concern, "Fish is scared of the dark, abah. Scared of ghost!", her eyes wide when pronouncing the ghoulish word. Hehe...

Nemo and Dory. Welcome to the household!

So Much To Do...

... But so little time. Work has been piling up so fast of late i don't even have the chance to reflect what's happening. It's just a matter of getting things out of my out-tray as fast as i can at the moment, and chasing the deadlines that have been set for me. At this rate, i doubt i can even complete all that is in my plate now, even if i stay up 24/7 doing them. Must keep going... But i'm feeling so mentally and physically tired at the moment...

*sigh*

Rest today, and fight tomorrow. I think i'll catch that winkie now and preserve enough energy to face another tough day tomorrow.

Night-night.

Amazing News!

I read this interesting article from Yahoo! This would definitely give a great sense of hope, not to mention relief, for people like me who is not just on the border line between being overweight and obese, but also finding that time is increasingly a premium to be spared for a decent exercise. If this article is anything to go by, then it means that I won't really have to spend that much of a time to get fit again.

I have been on a stress-induced bingeing spree this last couple of weeks. Very stressful work schedule has driven me to pig out to get enough of the 'happy' inducing food chemicals that you would usually find in unhealthy food like donuts, oily and greasy char kuey teow, and coffee mixed with sweetened condensed milk, just to name a few. And now suddenly, I find some discomfort already getting into my new pants that I had made to tailor after the fasting month last year, having successfully lost almost 4 kilos at the time. And now, I resemble a lady who is due for labour anytime soon.

So let's see if this article has some truth in it. Maybe I can start by some quick sprints on my exercise bike every morning now. A healthy body breeds a healthy mind. With work expecting to peak come March, I need the best of both body and mind to face it.

I'm A Hostage

I am in a meeting at the moment, although my heart is screaming to go home. Been going home so late this last week I don't get to spend enough time with Insyirah. Wifey was planning to go out tonight and take Insyirah for an outing when the boss told me to stay back until 830pm. It is 8.45pm now and meeting doesn't look like ending soon.

:(

Unspoken Thoughtfulness And Decency

In human relations, I believe there are certain things that go without saying. For instance, when you're sitting in a bus and you see an elderly man, or maybe a heavily pregnant lady - someone whom probably deserves a seat more than you by virtue of their condition or age -standing with much effort because there is no available seat on the bus, would you wait for someone to tell you to offer your seat to them before you do? Or should it come more naturally to you offer your seat instinctively to them the moment you see them board the bus? I'm not surprised if a big chunk of those people out there would wait to be told - if there's anyone out there with enough guts and decency to do so that is - instead of sensitively doing what is right.

Such scenario as the above if considered out of decency and selflessness, would lead you to opt for the action that breeds out of respect. Then our society would probably be a better place to live as the weak or the elderly would get the respect they deserve, without having to blushingly claim that such respect be afforded. Really, it is not something that is written as black and white, although our public transport does make it clear sometimes to give such priority. And really, it is not easy for the affected to just go and stake their claim without feeling a tinge of embarassment. After all, shouldn't respect and decency be practiced without saying?

I'm still raging from a similar experience this last couple of days. And in my case, i had once unashamedly staked my claim before, only to receive a reply, to the effect of "i didn't know you deserved it". And of late, i've been afforded the same shitty treatment again. Some people are just so full of themselves it makes me grimace. It hurts me to think that i may not feature in that person's calculation of respect and consideration of decency.

Oh well...

Here's to human decency and thoughtfulness.

Keeping The 'Smiths' At Bay

I don't intend to lose the fight just yet...

Of late, I have been the feeling like I'm playing the character of Neo played by Keanu Reeves in the classic cult film trilogy of The Matrix, squaring off with hundreds and thousands of multiplying Agent Smiths, feeling like I'm constantly on the verge of losing the fight. For those who are not too familiar with the Matrix movies to make sense of the metaphor I'm trying to make, here's another one. Imagine a clown performing a juggling act who constantly gets thrown more and more juggling items, bigger and heavier, every now and then that after some time you have that feeling that the clown will eventually drop something to the ground, resulting a big mess all over the place.

In short, I have been feeling totally overwhelmed of late by the frantic pace of stuffs and events that have come my way, mostly finding their roots from the office. If there's anything I've come to reflect more than any other of late, it's about whether all this frantic chase of deadlines and incessant pressures are all worth it. What's the carrot for all this trouble anyway? An overdue promotion with measly pay raise, and with more hard work to top it off? And to rub salt to the injury, they make it bloody difficult for you to pass the assessment for the promotion to begin with.

I feel like the lagging rat in the brutal rat race that I have no chance of winning, with a whip lasher constantly lashing its whip behind me to run faster and further. And to be honest, I am beginning to feel more and more certain by the day that I do not want to continue the race anymore. I feel like taking the leap out and finally do what I really want to do, although the problem is at the moment it is not yet very clear to me how I can do that whilst at the same time bring in the dough for my family.

So in the mean time, until I can learn to fly like Neo in The Matrix, or find a portal somewhere where I can transport myself to another world that offers me a better life, I just have to keep fighting and keep all the Agent Smiths at bay.

Morning At The Beach

I aroused early in the morning today hoping to catch sunrise. Unfortunately, the sky at the horizon was too cloudy to enable me to witness the grandiose event of beginning of day. By the moment the sun showed itself rising above the clouds in the horizon, it was already rather high. Nevertheless, it was still a sight to behold.

The sea is such an amazing and overwhelming sight to behold. Standing there at the beach, the cold wind blowing in my face and the sound of waves incessant in the air, there's such a sense of tranquility. The thought of Debussy's La Mer easily came to my mind. It is amazing how beautiful the sight is, and how such experience could have escaped me for so long.

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

This year, Chinese New Year brought a greater significance to my family than the usual customs of oranges and the blaring sounds of lion dance performances. For the first time, we got an insider's view of how the Chinese celebrates it.

My brother's wife, Farah is half Chinese and since her Chinese roots are in Kuala Terengganu, we decided to coincide our annual trip to the East Coast this year with Chinese New Year so that we could kill 2 birds with one stone: It is a good time to get to know the rest of Farah's family better. And what better way and time to do so than the time when all the family get together for their new year's gathering?

I must say the experience has been most enlightening. I've realised there are quite a number of good things that can be learnt from the Chinese community as far as family relations are concerned, and how they value and cherish such relations. Additionally, it also amazes me how easy it is for our families to blend together, across the divide of race and religion. We sat and chatted together, and when we later posed for a picture together, we weren't a picture of 2 different races, but of one big family. All I can say is that I have been richer by the experience. Heck, I even got a number of ang pows yesterday from my new Chinese relatives - so literally speaking it is also true.. ;)

Here's to a prosperous future and beautiful relationships that crosses the divide of race and religion.

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

The Lady In Craving

Wifey has been cravings for long sandwiches of late. Hence, we've been having dinner at Subway over the last 3 days. I guess I can't complain. Just over a month ago I was having cravings for char kuey teow and instant noodles almost every other night. In my case it was stress-induced. At least wifey can claim that her cravings are healthier, and of course offers much more class.

I read somewhere (I think it's in Singapore) this guy lost over 50kg eating Subway sandwiches 3 square meals a day over a couple of months. Talk about consistency! With my Weight Loss Challenge in danger of becoming another white elephant project, it might as well be worth a try. It is interesting to note that the Subway branch we went tonight is located within the vicinity of a fitness centre and all the fitness buffs come to have their dinner there in flocks.

Hmmm... I wonder where I'll have dinner tomorrow. I guess it'll be no doubt where, if wifey has it her way again... ;)

A Picture For The Memories

A picture of wifey and Insyirah while we were in Cameron Highlands a couple of weeks ago. Insyirah looks a little rapper with her standing pose. The climate up there was cool and refreshing. An ideal getaway from the usual hustle and bustle routine of the city!

A Test Of Something New

This post is a test. It's a beginning of a new blogging era if it works. :)

Happy New Year 2009

Although 2009 is already 19 days old as of today, I hope it is still not too late for me to wish everyone out there a Happy New Year!

The year 2008 has been most eventful and wonderful, for me and those who are close to me at least. Nothing really extraordinary happened, but when you've got your loved ones, your health, a job to ensure the paycheck keeps coming in and a shelter to live in, you can't really say it hasn't been good. Not extraordinary as I've said, but more than enough to make me feel grateful to the Almighty for the other blessings he's given me that could prove elusive to some others. Just read the news at what's happening in Gaza at the moment, and you'll understand what I'm saying. Imagine the price the Palestinians are willing to pay for a quiet night's sleep without the deafening sounds of bombings and the eternal fear. My prayers are with them always.

As far as the resolutions of last year went, there have been modest achievements. If there's anything I've learnt over the last year, is to set ambitious yet realistic targets, and build upon them. Get to know myself better, and work on my strength. I enlisted the things I intended to achieve last year specifically, although looking back while still in 2008 it made me think why I set some of them. Maybe I need to consistently relook and rethink my plans. I guess the theme for 2009 is flexibility, and to be more agile. Only recently has it dawned on me how straight I am as a person. I need to be flexible in learning new things while maintaining what's good in the name of my religion and family.

Here's to a hopefully beautiful year, for everyone, in everything that we do, in every dreams that we aspire to achieve.

May the Almighty keeps us in His blessings and protection always.

Amiin.