Relativity of Perceptions

We were at Sunway Pyramid today. The place has changed a lot since the last time I was there, which to put it into perspective, was only about 4 months ago. They have opened a new wing now called Pyramid 2, in extension of the old wing of the shopping centre. It made us feel disoriented a little bit, and we were suppossed to meet up with the rest of my family for lunch. My father and brother DD were with me, wifey and Insyirah. We called our sister, Lili up to find out where they were.

DD: Where are you guys? We have just entered the building.

Lili: We are in a food court.

DD: Which food court?

Lili: I am not quite sure where this is. But the food court is near McDonald's.

DD: Righty ho. We'll see you there.

So we looked for the direction to the food court. Even asked a couple of Sunway Pyramid janitors and security guards for the way. Apparently we had parked in the new wing, so I had no idea where we were going and the places were not familiar to me. After walking for about 10 minutes in that huge place, we found a food court located within Jusco's. I was feeling kinda hungry by that time, and the smell of hot plate sizzling noodle instantly caught my attention. Yummy...

Wifey: But kak Lili says the food court is near McDonald's. And I know McDonald's is located in the old wing (Pyramid 1).

So we went to ask the security guard who was standing near us.

Guard: Pyramid 1 is that way bang. About 10 minutes walk through that path that connects the 2 wings.

I was already drooling over the hot plate, so you could understand I was feeling a little upset to find out we were not there yet. So we continued walking for another 10 minutes that seemed longer when you're walking with a hungry tummy and finally arrived at McDonald's.

Me: Hmmm... I don't see any food court.

DD: Let's try calling them...

We tried calling them for the next 10 minutes but to no avail. Reception must have been bad where they were. My tummy was growling again... Not knowing where to go and where they were, we just stood around and looking down at people skating at the ice rink. A while later, my phone rang.

Affeedz: I am sorry but the reception is very bad where we are. We are in the food court LOCATED WITHIN JUSCO's. It is in the new wing of Sunway Pyramid.

Me: Wha...? But I thought Lili said the food court is near McDonald's? We were already there at the food court about 10 minutes ago, but since we couldn't find any Mcdonald's there, we made our way here instead.

Affeedz: I don't know how it could be near McDonald's. It is in a totally different building altogether!

Me: Oh well. Since we're here, I think we might as well eat here. I can't walk any further until I eat something.

Affeedz: Ok la.. so we'll see you there after we're done. We've already bought our lunches.

We met up with them after about 20 minutes. I asked my sister why did she say the food court was near McDonald's?

Lili: Isn't it near? It is only 10 minutes away from McDonald's...

Morals of the story:

1. Perception of distance is subjective, and open to different interpretations by different people. 10 minutes walking distance might be short to some people, while my idea of near is if the place is right next door.

2. Be specific when you're asking for direction. General description like 'it is very near', or 'only a few minutes away' are recipes to getting you lost. Ask for exact address, or an exact landmark like the name of the building next to it, etc.

Happy Birthday!

I know this is rather belated, but then it has only occured to this slow pea-brained of mine that family birthdays make excellent themes on one's personal blogs! Silly me... Happy 33rd birthday Affeedz! May you have many prosperous years ahead of you, and all your dreams come true! Unless of course if your dream includes Liverpool winning the Champions League or the English Premier League, then I hope it won't as I'm pinning for Arsenal to achieve that this year! Hehe...


The Cake


The girls lining up for a picture with the birthday boy


"Affeedz: It is my birthday, and I get to blow the candles alright?"


Fat chance. The girls took over and had their salivas blown all over the cake...

Blogging Made Easy

Anyone who has been to my blog over the last couple of weeks would have noticed the significant changes that have been taking place here. For those who have not been here since forever (well, not surprisingly given the pathetic rate of updates here previously) would have felt like someone who only came back to Malaysia after having been abroad for over 30 years. I've made substantial feature updates here recently, that even I am myself impressed with how my blog looks like now.

There is a reason for the sudden flurry of changes here of late. I noted in this blog a couple of weeks ago about my mother in law starting out a new blog, to supplement her writing hobby / part time career. So, knowing that I already have a blog myself, she requested me to create one for her. Up to that point, I've never quite cared to find out how to upgrade the look of my blog, or even the features available out there that I could incorporate in it. Imagine my surprise when I ventured on creating a blog for my mother in law and finding out that the blogging world has taken a quantum leap ever since the days I started blogging.

Blogging has become significantly easier to do now compared to as recent as 3 years ago. I remember how I was struggling to even put up pictures in my posting, let alone to cosmetize its looks. There were not as many websites that offer applications (not to mention excellent and free too!) as there are now. In the 3 days break I had over the Hajj and Christmas holday, I explored and discovered applications to create a new blog, and my did I find myself into a totally new discovery. It did take most of the hours of my 3 days break then, but just like riding a bicycle, once you've learnt it, you won't be needing the tricycle anymore and be cycling without having to hold the handlebars anymore! It is easy to go overboard with adding new features given the stuffs that are available out there, and at certain points I just had to pull the reins and know where to stop. Otherwise it'll be like a street with too many light streamers that you could barely notice the traffic lights! Moderation is still virtue...

So after the end of the 3 days, and with further cosmetising over the last couple of weeks, my mother in law and I managed to create this blog for her. For good measure, she has gone on to create an english version of that same blog for english her english readers.

So what do I do next after having made all these discoveries to do with blogging? Upgrade my own blog of course! My blog has been in a sad state of neglect for a long time, that you could almost sense virtual cobwebs streaming all over it. And I've made a pledge to have more regular updates here this year also, so with hope and luck this blog will not be so dormant. The question is, will there be readers and visitors here after all these years? There might just be me and family members coming by. That's a good start. Until I can be certain of more regular updates, it feels like a false dawn to an era of new beginnings here.

I feel good about the changes I've made here. The blog feels brand new and grand to me. I hope you like it too...

Fit For Life... Not Fat

Nope, I'm not pregnant...

The difference between the word 'fit' and 'fat' is merely the vowel that is between the letter f and t, but in physical terms the difference could not have been more significant. And not to mention the ease and difficulty to transfrom from one form to another and vice versa.

When I was younger, the issue of weight problem seem like someone else's problem. Up to my teenage years, I could munch down up to 3 Big Macs and still had a lot more space for some fries and a big cup of milk shake. And even after all that, I wouldn't feel like exploding like I do now and there would not be even a hint of a bulge on my hard and well-shaped belly.

I remember an incident when I was 13 when my brother, my dad and me were dining at Pizza Hut and we ordered 2 large super supreme pizzas. The waitress who was taking our order, out of a sense of duty, told us that she felt 2 large super supreme pizzas were probably too much for the 3 of us in one sitting. We insisted on our order, and when the pizza came, we gulped everything in less than 20 minutes. And I remember we later ordered some ice cream for desserts...

Those days now feel like distant memories...

Nowadays, maintaining my current weight is a constant struggle, not to mention losing it. Things were probably easier in my pre-married days, when I could gain and lose my weight almost at will. Nowadays, the easier way is always up the weighing scale and going down is tantamount to a small miracle. For the record, I've gained 5 kilos over the last year, 4 inches around the waist... pheww... heck, my belly is even bigger than my wife's when she was pregnant!

So coming to the year 2008, I've made a resolution to at least lose what I've gained in 2007, and maintain a healthy diet and lifestyle. A little cut down on the carbohydrates is required, and a little jolt with the physical exercise will be needed here. I've set myself certain key performance indicators in order to achieve this aim of mine, which are as follows:

Physical indicators
Current weight: 81.1kg
Target weight: 72kg

Current waistline: 38 inches
Target waistline: 33 inches

Exercise
On a weekly basis, I aim to do at least two times of any combination of the following physical exercises:
1. Jogging - 3km
2. Cycling - 10km
3. Swimming - 30 minutes

Food
This is probably the most difficult of all the indicators for me to adhere to. I've always been a lover of fatty foods like the skin of a fried chicken or McDonald's chocolate sundae and apple pie. And to make matters worse, I only take vege and fruits out of necessity, which usually means I do not take them at all most of the time. This is where most resolve is needed.

1. Cut down
Carbohydrates
- 1 scoop of rice per meal, and small portions of side dishes
- only 1 trip per month to any fast food joint per month. The Prosperity Burger season at McDonald's is not going to make this easy...
- only 1 sweet desserts per week.

2. Increase
a. Drink 2 litres of water every day
b. Take fruits for snacking at the office

I will be posting my progress here on a weekly basis. Hoping for a small miracle here. With lots of belief and will power, I might just be able to transform myself from fat to fit.

Wish me luck...

Happy New Year 2008

The Year 2008 began with a bang...

Welcome 2008!

I know the phrase sounds rather cliched, but time really does fly. It feels like it wasn't that long ago that we were celebrating the coming of 2007, and now lo and behold, 2007 has already left us. I realise that the older we get, the faster time seems to pass.

I read somewhere in a science magazine that explains why time seems to go by faster with age. It's got something to do with learning and what the human memory has experienced and. The longer you have lived, you are more likely to have developed routines and habits that you do everyday, hence every day feels about the same to you, giving you a sense that time never really passed. However, remember how a day took forever to pass when you were a kid? That's because a kid didn't have any sets of routines to follow, and every day is discovery for him. A kid has no set of responsibilities and obligations to follow, hence 24 hours could feel like forever. I still remember how I used to feel depress when night falls as a kid, as I felt it would take forever for the next day to come for me to go out and play again.

So perhaps the theme of my new year's resolution should be about making new discoveries, or exploring something new. Well, sometimes new discoveries does not necessarily have to be conquering the Everest or swimming across the English Channel. It could be as close as rebuilding oneself's character, and vowing to make changes in how we carry out our daily lives.

For what they are worth, here are my resolutions for 2008:

1. To become a better muslim
- To perform my daily 5 times prayer on time and promptly.
- To rekindle the habit of reading the Quran and do it more regularly than I am now. As a start, I am setting to at least cover half of the Quran by end of this year.

2. To be a better son, husband, and father
There's so much to learn and improve here. I hope to be more patient, more tolerant, and capable to contribute to my parents as a good son, and be a good example to my wife and daughter as a husband and father respectively. Although I've been married for over 3 years now, and a father in 2 of that years, it's surprising how I'm still dumb and slow when it comes to leading the family by example. And for this, I thank my wife for her patience.

3. To be more organised
Organisation and me have never been good associates. I realise that I do not seem to have the patience to sit down and plan my actions, and once I get things done, I'm never too fond of filing the documents properly. As a result, I have claims receivable outstanding over RM10k spanning over 5 years now. I know it sounds crazy. Which is why I hope to be more organised this year.

4. To lose weight
This has become a more serious issue as the years pass by. The year 2007 has witnessed the darkest moment in the history of my weight issue as I have ballooned to a waist line of 38(!) and exceeded the ceiling weight of 80kg. As a result, I've had 2 changes of trousers in a year from an initial waist line of 34, later to 36, and now 38! I need to pull out the stops at 38, and am currently working towards going back down to my original line. And to show how serious I am, I will be dedicating the progress of my weight loss programme in a weekly posting in my blog labeled 'Weight Loss Challenge'.

5. To pass all my remaining ACCA papers in one sitting
I've had enough of resits, and wasting money as a result. I intend to make it first time passes from June 08 onwards, en route to achieving professional qualification by June 2009. For the record, I have 5 papers to go, after having sat 7 so far.

6. To learn and excel at my new working place
I've only been at my current department for 6 months, and I still have so much to learn. I hope to be as good as most of my colleagues, through their guidance and my own hardwork by end of this year.

7. To have more regular postings in this blog
My mother in law, who now has her own blog remarked that I should make attempts to update it at least once a week. It is good to make the mind active, and detracts me from the mentally draining effects of my office work, which also has the effects of making my mind monotonous. We shall see...

8. To develop a new hobby
I hope to have a hobby which I can undertake weekly, and I intend to take up cycling. It can help me to achieve my weight loss programme at the same time. I have an old bike from the times of my studying days which requires change of tyres and chains. I hope to do this once a week.

9. To inculcate a habit of reading
- I am not much of a reader. I remember when I was a kid, my mom used to remind me like a broken radio that I need to pick up the habit of reading if I ever wanted to improve my English. My proficiency in the English language back then was awful of course, and i used to get nervous whenever I encountered into scenarios when speaking the language is required. I remember an incident when I was in a plane and sitting next to this gentleman which I later found out was an English working for Shell. He initiated a conversation, and I was struggling to find vocabularies to keep up with him. Sensing my struggle, he then chose to converse in good malay instead! Well, I am digressing quite a bit here...

- I hope to broaden my mind and horizon a little bit by picking up the habit of reading, aside from the sports pages of the newspapers and Soccernet.com. I've realised how I lag a little bit with my colleagues and certain friends of mine when it comes to reading interests and general knowledge. I hope to at least read 2 books of fiction and 2 of non-fiction this year, which I hope to be able to make reviews of them here.

Wish me luck.

To anyone out there reading, once again, here's wishing you a happy new year!

Esok Dah Start Kerja...

Today is the last day of my relatively long leave from work before having to go back to the office tomorrow. Last days such as these always have me feeling depressed. Spending the last few moments of freedom away from work, from all sorts of problems that crop up with it, the difficult people, bosses, situations etc. I have deliberately ignored to open my office e-mail since my leave began last Thursday even though my boss had told me to keep on the lookout at this one issue that seems like it would not settle anytime soon. The last couple of days have been filled with national holidays for crying out loud. It's not like people are going to be around even if I did try to carry on working. Hence, I have this dreadful feeling a big avalanche of problems and issues will fall upon me when I get to work tomorrow. *Sigh*...

I spent the last couple of days at my in-laws in Ipoh. My mother in law is starting a new blog. She's a budding novelist you see, with already 4 books to her name, and she feels it appropriate to have a blog of her own as a strategic marketing ploy. As a matter of fact, many novelists in Malaysia do that I've realised. My wife goes onto a number of blogs which actually publish their writings on their respective blogs before publising them into books. It is surprising how many people with the flair for writing are out there. It almost makes you feel yo could even do the same if you really put your mind and will into it. It does make for an interesting idea, but I guess I either do not have the time or creativity to think of a story to write.

Yeah, creativity. I guess I am better at using other people's ideas instead of conjuring up with something original by myself. I like relating stories I've read or movies I've watched and analyse the beauty of the finer points of the stories. A good story is like a good cake I guess, and I think I play the role of the diner better than the chef i.e. I know a good cake when I eat one, but ask me to make one, I don't even know where to start.

But having said all this, I do not deny the whole idea of writing your own book is a very attractive proposition, career and financial wise. Maybe I just need some encouragement to believe that sitting for hours trying to make up a plot for a good story is worth more of my time than being at the office being confronted with neverending issues of my company. Maybe one day if my work becomes bad enough, or maybe when I've become literary enough to start writing anything longer than a page-long of a blog. You never know...

Let's entertain the idea a little further shall we. Izwan the Writer. What would I possibly write about? If I may share, I do fancy stories with themes on time-traveling and fate. With some elements of tragic romance due to unrequited love, or circumstance that would never allow it. Something with a twist in the plot that would make the reader goes 'Ahhhh.... now that's interesting' as he approaches the last few pages of the book.

Hmmm... perhaps I do have something I can work on for a story after all.

In the meantime all I could do is deal with this feeling of depression in anticipation of work tomorrow.

The Week That Was

It has been a most hectic week, filled with so much fanfare, firstly from Insyirah's 2nd birthday bash last Sunday, and secondly from my mother in law's graduation ceremony which took place in the middle of last week. And of course when there's such fanfare, chances are you will get yourself all drained up in the after event.

Insyirah's 2nd Birthday Bash, 12 August 2007



The birthday party was a lively and fun event, although energy sapping altogether. I ended up the day with a slight migraine, but having seen how happy Insyirah was at the end of the day, it was all worth it. My wife bought Insyirah a special white dress with big red polka dots all over it, and Insyirah looked simply adorable in it. And I guess she knew she looked adorable. She was unusually friendly with the guests at the party, shaking hands with the guests, sitting on the laps of some of my guests.

The preparation for the party began rather early in the morning, and I was running around like a headless chicken at the word go the instant I opened my eyes that day. I had decided to cook the main dish for the day, which was chicken and beef beriyani. Hehe... quite a chef am i? Well, the beriyani came in instant packs, although preparing it in such a big scale wasn't exactly a piece of cake. Up to 30 minutes before the party was scheduled to start, I had a scare when the rice didn't quite cook well and was dry. Lucky I managed to get it sorted just before the first guest arrived. Pheww....

We had about 50 guests turning up that day, although we had rsvps confirming attendance up to 100. That's Malaysians to you... so there were plenty of food for everyone.


Guess who actually blew the candles off...

Insyirah's cake was specially ordered from Secret Recipe with a picture of Barney and friends on it. Did you know that Secret Recipe could have any picture you wish on the cakes you buy from them? We thought at first of having Insyirah's pic on the cake, but alas we didn't have any latest pic of her. Since kids are usually crazy about Barney, and Insyirah and Hannah like the purple dinosaur too, we opted for Barney and friends instaed. True enough, kids were demanding to have the portions of the cake with Barney and friends on it.

Happy 2nd Birthday Insyirah. Abah and Ibu (Bubu) loves you so much.

Mum's Graduation, 15 August 2007

My mother in law's graduation took place in USM, Penang. She got her PhD for some research she made (i can't remember the title of the research, but it's loong and something to do with women's titties). We drove to Penang the night of the 14th August 2007. I wasn't able to take leave on the 14th as my work commitment demanded me to be at the office. We left KL around 10pm, and I was determined to get to Penang as quickly as possible. Driving my Inokom Matrix, I wasn't exactly an incarnation of Michael Schumacher, but I was driving faster than my usual pace and more pertinently, ocassonally slightly above the speed limit. I was lucky enough not to get flagged down by the police who set a speed trap along the way. Free je RM300 kalau tidak.. fuhh.. after that close encounter, I abided by the limit and managed to reach Penang, slowly but surely by 3 in the morning.


My superstar Dr. mother-in-law with flowers from her fans after the ceremony...

The ceremony was a very loooong one. Can you believe it actually took over 3 hours?! 3 hours of sitting and looking at hundreds of people getting their scrolls from the university's chancellor. I wonder how the chancellor and the rest of the academic staffs on stage managed to hold in whatever that was in their bladder in that 3 hours. Maybe they had adult diapers on them? Perhaps... Hehe...


Future Dr in the making... Dr Insyirah. Hehe... i like the sound of it.

I am not sure about other local universities here in Malaysia, but when I was in the UK, my own ceremony took only half an hour, maybe 45 minutes tops. But graduation in the UK and Malaysia are really different. In the UK, it felt like an academic event with a very traditional feel to it. Malaysians are probably more festive in nature and the ceremony had an almost TV3's Jom Heboh feel to it. Dengan gerai2 makan, khemah pesta, animal corner (?), concert, teh tarik competition. The Brits would have eaten their hearts out...

We stayed in Penang until Friday. Since we were already there, we felt might as well stay there for a few more days for vacation. It had been a while since I had been in Penang anyway, my last trip being in 1994. I wish we could have stayed longer. Fun times and such vacations always have the tendency to end before you're ready for it.

Can't wait for our planned vacation next year.

Money, Money, Money!

The issue of money and ways on how to make more of it has always become a favourite suject to many. Many can't buy you love, or all the happiness in the world, but it does get the going much easier if you have more it than less. Who wouldn't want that extra thousand bucks if you could make it. It sure does make meeting my monthly financial obligations easier and more breathing space financially.

The subject has been on my mind a little bit more persistently than usual as I go through the process of paying off all my debt obligations at the moment. A wise person once told me, debt is the mother of all poverty. And credit card debts must be the great, great grandmother of all the mothers of poverty. I've never made it a habit to check my credit card statement regularly, and it is to my shock that I found out my monthly financing charges have been in the amount of RM100 per month over the last one year. Would you believe it?! Not that I'm spending anything here. i get charged that amount of money simply for having outstanding balances with the bank. Heavens forbid!

So with that discovery, my 5 senses have been more alert to any opportunity to make extra bucks out there. And I found out about this Adsense formula that is on Google. Make money by having people flocking onto your blog and clicking on the ads by Google that appears on my blog. Sounds simple eh? And what better way to make money than doing so from the comfort of your bedroom, at anytime, about anything, and for doing something you wanted to do anyway? But there's still that other problem of having enough people to flock into this space. i don't really get that many people coming this way.

So it's time for some strategy in the items I blog about then. Key words or postings with high search rates on the net. Porno is of course out of the question, although in terms of hits it should probably account for the most hits on the net... hehe... hmm.. what then? It is something worth thinking about. It is after all about money...

Insyirah Turns 2!

My beloved daughter, that precious little angel of mine by the name of Nuha Insyirah, turned 2 years old today! Yes it has been 2 years since that cheeky little angel, by the grace of God, came to grace our lives. 2 years of patience, of getting up in the middle of the night making her milk, 2 years of playing with baby pee and poo, getting the ocassional vomit on my clothes. Yes, it has been 2 years of bliss, 2 years that have made me grown so much more than the previous 28 years before she came to my life. I love you so much my little girl.

We bought her a little cake tonight, for her to warm up with the idea of blowing the candle off the cake before her birthday bash this Sunday. Although she did try to blow off the candle rather earnestly tonight, she still struggled enough for Hannah to jump in and show how her it's really done. Hannah just couldn't contain her excitement the moment she saw us bring the cake out. But somehow she managed to refrain herself from blowing the candle, and allowed Insyirah to make a few attempts before she 'voluntered' to show her how it's done. And in good spirits, Insyirah clapped her on when the candles were blown off. Hehe...

Here's to many more birthdays in the future. May all your dreams come true.

ps: Either blogger or my internet connection is giving me problems at the moment and I'm taking a zillion years just trying to put up a pic. So I only have a pic of the birthday cake to show and nothing else. Guess I'll put more pics after the big bash on Sunday itself. :-(

My Inner Voice Speaks

These last couple of days, I have come to learn (or perhaps rediscover) the art of listening to the voices within me again. Before I get anybody alarmed suspecting that I'm beginning to suffer from schizophrenia, let me reassure you it's not THAT kind of voices I'm talking about. It is the voice of your heart, or what the malays would call 'suara hati', which in my interpretation at least, asks you questions about your own mortality, happiness, ambitions, and where you are in the bigger scheme of life. Muslims call it 'muhasabah', a process of reflection of one's life, where we are in the bigger scheme of things, and where we're heading towards. And I feel that my recent job transfer probably has something to do with it.

I have recently moved to a new job within the same company beginning a month ago, after close to 7 years working in the old position. My old position had it's fair share of joy and fun in the early days, but in the last 2-3 years or so, have made me to drag myself to work. And if I may be honest, I could trace the reason for such a feeling to a particular person in the office whom of late has not just made my life a miserable hell, but the lives of others in the office as well.

If you traced back some of my earlier postings about a colleague from hell, then you would know who i mean. To give you a better perspective how really bad she is, whatever I have written about her in these pages a couple of years are not even half as bad as what she has really turned out to be. I had decided to stop bitching about her after my 2 posting about her back then as I felt bitching about others is not really a healthy way to handling such issues.

As a result, it probably caused the voice within me to go quiet altogether and I lost touch with the very essence of myself. I lost the voice within me that usually gave me my reason and drive. Because I had to live with working with such an incompetent monkey for so long, I had learnt to just live with imperfections and assume others would too. My bosses had allowed her to continue with her incompetence for so long that the whole unit almost turned into ruins. For instance, the company's financial statements for the year, which was under the monkey's KPI for the last year, was late by over 2 months, and even then it wasn't her who finally completed it. Just like the year before, she made horrendous mess with the accounts before conveniently falling ill on the day of the deadline, and left her shit to another colleague of mine and myself to clear it for her. We went back at 4 in the morning that day and to add salt to injury, the boss made us continue doing her job and gave us a scolding for being slow the next day. The monkey who conveniently felt better that day got away with nothing.

That was just a classic example of what she is capable of doing. I could go on and on about the unspeakable and dishonorable things she's done, but that would be digressing too far from the main reason for this posting and I shall save such stories of the good-for-nothing monkey for later. As it is now, I can feel my heartbeat beating slightly faster recounting the above events of her doing.

Basically, having to endure such a difficult colleague and a demanding boss who did not really know how to manage such a colleague and the ensuing mess she created, took its toll on me and I suffered in silence. My motivation gone, energy zapped, and I was beginning to have self esteem issues. I began asking myself, 'is this it?'. I felt like I was facing a great wall with no way to move forward or move around, and it felt hopeless.

The new job has so far given me a new lease of life. I am required to learn again, and I am again made to feel like a freshie in a new school. I'm made to feel dumb again, which requires me to go around looking for some answers. I'm exposed to embarassing moments of clueless-ness, and the regular telling off from the boss for freshie-like errors. The pressure to meet such high expectations, to my own surprise, had given me the zest again to stand up and show what I can do under such adverse situations. And yeah, almost all my colleagues in my new work place are merit-rated material, so I very much feel like a small fish in a big pond at the moment. The good thing about that is, there is an almost certainty that I won't have the same problem of dealing with incompetent people like in my old place.

I suddenly have so much to tell. But I guess the rest can wait till later. I have made a pledge that certain things about me will change, and I look towards the future with optimism. Things are not necessarily going to get any easier, but at least I now feel better prepared for any eventuality.

Movie Outing: Spiderman 3

It has been a long while since I went to watch a movie at the cinemas. Ever since Insyirah was born, trips to the cinemas can be counted with fingers in one hand. Well to be precise, before Tuesday's trip to watch the latest of the Spiderman movies, the only other time I had gone to the movies post-Insyirah was to watch the Da Vinci Code. Even then I didn't go with wifey who chose to stay home and babysit our daughter. The Spiderman outing was kinda spontaneous on my wife's part, being our first movie date in close to 2 years, so it felt kinda special.

The movie was great. The thing that I like the most about Spiderman is how human they try to portray the hero. In other words, Peter Parker lives like most of us: life as a college student, struggling to make enough to pay for rent and food, relationship related problems, etc. He lives a life that most of us could pause, reflect and relate those moments to our own. And it touches a lot on the themes of friendship and relationship. So working on such potentially emotional themes, it was always going to be more than just a superhero action flick.

I would probably rate the 3rd Spiderman movie as the best of the three. To begin with, there were more villains in this instalment that our webslinging hero had to get himself busy with, and then the plots were considerably richer and more complicated compared to the 2 earlier instalments. Not surprising given that the screenwriters had originally written the movie so long with so complicated plots, they were considering to break the story into Spiderman 3 and 4 at one point. That plan didn't materialise however when the writers couldn't come up with a satisfying intermediate climax, so they scrapped the idea. You can check more fun trivias about the movie from IMDB.com if you wish.

Strongly recommended.

Insyirah's Journal

I've thought to myself: My daughter has turned almost 2 years old, and really I have not kept a journal or any literature of her developments and antics over that period of time. It sort of hit me recently that certain things about watching her grow up that I considered to be novelties when they first happened are beginning to slip from my memory, and if I do not record them somehow somewhere it might get forgotten as time passes by. It is not just her major accomplishments that I'm talking about. Candid moments, moments of ingenuity, clever things said, etc... these are the things that I've begun to forget even though it might have happened only 6 months ago. Of course I won't forget such moments when she first called me 'Abah', or when the day she started walking... but there are other moments that you might not recall so easily with time. Yeah, I am getting old I know...

Insyirah turned 21 months today, and she has grown up to be such a bundle of joy to everyone who loves her. She is a rather demanding girl I must say, with very little tolerance for rejections, which means she would easily throw tantrums when she doesn't get things her way. And she is also an overly sensitive girl. She is easily moved by the tone in your voice, and she knows so well when people are unhappy with her.

Like the other day when Hannah and her were being naughty and accidentally dropped some bunches of keys from the key rack, they were laughing their hearts out at the incident. My mother heard them laughing and found all the keys on the rack on the floor. She gave them a telling off, telling them they were being naughty. At the slight sound of displeasure in my mum's voice, Insyirah made a face and broke down into tears and embraced my mum apologetically. Hannah on the other hand has learnt the art of distraction so well, and was pointing at the fishes in the pond outside to distract my mother... cheeky girl!

Before I left the house this morning for work, Insyirah took my hand and brought me into the TV room to watch cartoons with her. Hannah was having the say in the choice of programme to watch however, so we watched this VCD on alphabets. Insyirah made sure I sat there with her by sitting on my lap, and would frown and cry whenever I tried to get up. She's very clingy I must say, almost like a koala... hehe.. especially when my wife's around.

Earlier, I was awakened at 4 in the morning by Insyirah's soft cry. It wasn't the kind of crying from pain or hunger or from anything that could have indicated any serious alarm. It sounded like a cry of complaint from this increasingly demanding little girl. Apparently her anklets around both ankles had gotten entangled with each other, and her feet were tied to one another. Poor girl! Hehe... so I spent the next 10 minutes untangling them. COuld have been much faster though had I not been so sleepy...

I am missing her already. Will be going to Singapore for 2 days beginning tomorrow, and I'm gonna miss my wife and daughter so badly...

Hope my wife will call soon so we can leave the office asap...

Our Celebrity Look Alikes

My morale has not been very good of late. Been battered by a combination of too much work and having to tolerate the gross incompetence of someone who is so bad that I honestly feel like jumping out of the window of my office on the 35th floor just to avoid myself from killing her. I have been trying to achieve a lot of things today, working at home since yesterday and today are public holidays, but my whole body has been protesting all the way that I think I’ve only managed to accomplish like 30% what I had ambitiously planned to achieve the whole day. My mind keeps telling me it’s ok though… today is a public holiday for crying out loud, and your brain just can’t take the stress that much anymore. Yeah.. seriously I feel like I can’t anymore. Even with glaring deadlines now looking at me with look of death, I have been rather nonchalant about them.

In my struggle to cheer myself up, I strayed in Myheritage’s website and searched for celebrities that matched my looks. Well, it did succeed to cheer me up somehow. And for good measure, I did the same tests for my wife and Insyirah. Not bad I thought.. hehe…

Well, sometimes it’s good to do this keje2 syok sendiri just to boost the ego… hehe..

http://www.myheritage.com

Road Devils

Drove back to KL last night from Ipoh, which effectively was our last leg of the round Malaysia road trip for the Chinese New Year holidays. Yesterday was supposed to be a working day, but knowing how horrifying traffic on the highway could get on the last day of the holiday with KL citizens all heading back towards the city, I had already planned leave for yesterday. Traffic was still quite heavy though. Obviously quite a number of people had the same idea as I did. But still it was manageable. I managed to arrive home in just over 2 hours, with only a minor delay occuring in the stretch between Rawang and Sungai Buloh.

If there's one thing that I hate about driving on the highways in the holiday season, it is the driving habits of some selfish and inconsiderate drivers, terrorising the road as though the road was some racing circuit owned by their grandfathers. Traffic on the highway could sometimes slow down to a snail's pace during the festive seasons, and it is understandable to get exasperated at the pace when you could only manage to cover a distance of about 20km in a space of an hour, but please remember if you feel that way, EVERYONE else is feeling the same.

Some impatient drivers resort to speeding on the emergency lane, and cutting the traffic left and right just to gain what, possibly 10 minutes less on their journeys? And risking the lives of their loved ones and other innocent road users by driving dangerously? To be brutally truthful about it, I really don't give a damn if such selfish drivers were to end up under a trailer or in a deep ravine due to their thoughtless acts on the road, but it is such a pity when it ends involving their passengers and other road users.

It never fails to irk me when a driver cuts into my lane, squeezing into the space between my car and the car ahead of me, the space which I had adjudged to be a safe cruising distance when traffic is heavy but moving smoothly. All because the driver could not wait and resort to swerving left and right into any space they feel they could squeeze in to gain any measly minutes of their journey time. There was an instant when 2 cars actually squeezed into the space ahead of mine, apparently racing to get back into the fast lane after overtaking on the slower lane. There was just enough space for one car ahead of me, and when the second car just barged into my lane, almost hitting the front of my car in doing so, I had to hit the brakes rather suddenly to avoid bumping into its rear. A surge of expletives almost came out of me, and how I wished I was driving a trailer so that I could just mow down this imbecile driver. Lucky I was under a censored mode (wife and daughter were in the car), and was driving a mini MPV, or the worse could have happened.

As we reached Sungai Buloh, there was a blue Lancer Evo doing its zig zagging trick across the 3 lane highway, speeding its way pass and having little regard for the other vehicles on the road. A bus only just managed to avoid ramming into its rear as the Evo swerved from the middle lane into the slow lane with a perceived thoughtless non-chalance. "Crazy!", I thought to myself. My wife made a non-approving remark too. "Maybe he felt he's lived too long".

A few minutes later, just a few kilometres away from where the Evo overtook us, we noticed the traffic stopped almost abruptly. I had to switch lanes almost instantly to avoid the stationary cars on the middle and fast lanes ahead of me. A speedtrap maybe? Then just a few lengths ahead, I noticed a car that had spun out of control and ending up into the road divider in the middle of the road, obstructing traffic on the fast lane.

It was the same blue Lancer Evo.

Lucky the oncoming cars managed to slow down and avoided a further terrible mishap that could have involved so many other people. The Evo must have spun around across the 3 lane highways, its rear ending up ramming the divider. Looked like everyone in the car was ok, the serious damage limited to the rear of the car, and maybe to the driver's ego. It was a relief to see no one got hurt. But at the same time, it gave an inexplicable pleasure to see the stupid Evo driver ended up that way. Haha..!

Let that be a lesson to that devil.

A Welcome Break

My family and I went on a road trip this Chinese New Year, spanning between Johor in the south and Perak in the north, covering a total distance journeyed of over 1,000km. Apart from the crazy road traffic in these festive times, I've always liked going on long road trips. So many memories can be made from such long journeys, and I have quite a few stored in my collection of nostalgias, namely my road trips in New Zealand, Turkey, and Europe to name a few. Maybe I might just recount the experiences from these trips in future postings.

Anyways, I feel that the Chinese New Year break could not have come at a better time. Truth be told, I was close to the point of saturation at work. A couple of weeks ago, I made a visit to the doctor after experiencing intermittent palpitation of my heart, which had lasted for a couple of weeks up to that point. I was quite hesitant at first to made the visit, but the palpitations had begun to become too regular to my liking that I decided I had better find out if there was anything serious about it. From the ECG test I took, my heart was beating at a rate of a 100m sprinter when I was resting, and the doctor gave me some pills to get rid of the palpitations, and an advice that perhaps I was stressing myself from work too much. Suddenly, everything was put into perspective once again and I began to assess my priorities in life.

I mean, are all the troubles and stresses of work worth it if it means having to compensate my health? Having been told that I might possibly have a heart problem due to work stresses made me go into some reality check. Yeah, I have basically been working for more than 16 hours a day since early December 06 because of the company's budget and planning cycle, and to add to the excitement, my ACCA exam was scheduled in the midst of all the madness at work. I survived as I always have so far, but this time not without a little tug on my health and well being.

Perhaps I'm getting a bit old already. Perhaps cavalier moments like those I experienced in university are best not repeated in these times. There is too much stress going around me at the moment that I can do without the unnecessary ones with some proper planning. Yeah, planning. That is one characteristic I can really do with some development.

Anyways... here are some pics of Hannah and Insyirah taken while we were on our journey to Johor a few days ago. It is such a pleasure to see your kids grow and learn to do new stuffs. They are now at an age when they like to imitate behaviour and speech. There's no better therapy to stress than spending time with your child.


Hannah: "Insyirah... can you call Granny and see if she's ready to go yet? I'm tired of waiting and sitting here."
Insyirah: "Ok... I'll dial her up... lucky dad topped up my credit yesterday!".

Insyirah: "Granny? Where are you? We're waiting for you... lemme see, where are we.. we're near some fruit stalls, near the kiddies playing area..."

Insyirah: What was that Granny? The line's not very clear here... I knew I should have subscribed to Hotlink. Ok then, we'll see you here in 5 minutes ok? Our bums are getting sore from sitting too long, and I think I'm due for a nappy change too...
Hannah: Me too! I just had a big one!

Finding The Fire

This last couple of days I have been a bit busy. Very, very preoccupied in fact. And strangely, only when I am under such circumstances would I actually function the best. To be fair, I need not get myself under this situation if only I had had the drive to get things done way before they are due. And again to be fair, it's not that I had not tried getting myself started, it's just that without the drive to do them, it was like trying to mow the grass of a football field with a pair of nail clippers. My brains would simply choose not to switch on when I set myself on the task. Only when the deadline is staring at me around the corner does my brain get cracking feverishly and does what it does best.

It kinda made me thinking when I get myself under such situations. If only I could get myself to be ahead of things, instead of getting to the finishing line neck to neck with the deadlines, I wonder where I would have gotten myself to by this time in my life? Would I have been a successful executive in some multinational company earning 5 figures, USD or GBP salary? Or would I have been a dynamic entrepeneur heading towards greatness in a multimillion dollar business? Or perhaps closer down to earth, maybe already a manager by this time in the company I'm currently working with? It did get me thinking.

I have somehow been observing those few people in my company who are heading towards greatness, and not that much older than me. The difference between them and myself is that they somehow have that extra, that fire in the gut that drives them to do what they know they can do best, and then do it superbly. They are always in a state of preparedness, their swords already sharpened, eveready for any challenges that come their way. Even better, they even get themselves a step ahead of the others and their superior. A very good thing to do if you intend to get the boss's attention, and hence an assured path towards a fast track promotion.

I do not intend to blow my horn, but I do feel that when it comes to the matter of grey matter power, I do not feel in any way inferior to these high flying people. Brain for brain, I believe I do stand a chance. But whilst these people have their swords ready in their sheath come morning of the big battle, that is when you will see me taking out the swords for sharpening. Because I am simple too lazy to do it the night before. Or because I find it difficult to give a damn about things like getting yourself ready until it's too late. Because I feel that somehow all things will work out ok by themselves.

If only I cared to do research on a particular paper my boss is asking me to do weeks ago instead of frantically doing so over 2 days in the office. If only I cared to do my revision for my ACCA exams like even 1 week early instead of going through the contents of my text book yesterday to find out what the syllabus is about. If only I cared enough about everything I do to be ahead of everyone.

If only I can find the fire...

Time to hit the books again. ACCA exams' next Tuesday.

A Long Weekend

It is very late at night now, 12.24am of Monday morning to be exact. I should be in bed by now, after having gone through a rather long and eventful weekend. The pace of the weekend was rather frantic and before I knew it, it is now already very late of Sunday night (or rather, very early of Monday morning!)I guess my mind is still in tune with the frantic pace all weekend and am finding it difficult to switch off just like that even though my body feels so tired that it aches all over.

Had a mini gathering of friends and families today over at my house. Maybe you can call it an open house, this weekend being the last weekend of Syawal. The event might not have been the same proportion of the Prime Minister's open house, but the work required and the energy spent on it felt as though it was. It was a good time to play catch up with some friends whom I've not met for so long. Some friends whom used to be very close with me. As much as some people choose not to believe it, relationships with friends do change after you get married. You can't just simply hang out with your old pals anymore. There are commitments that you have to attend to. Priorities change as families grow. And friendships will naturally require a new paradigm.

Two good friends of mine turned up today. It had been a long while since I last got together with either one of them. Both are now married with a child each. One is a guy who had been my housemate when I was studying for my degree in London UK, and the other is a childhood friend dating back from my primary school days. It was fun meeting up with them again, more so now that our lives are now evolved over things that are very different from the days when we were younger. We are now married and parents to our respective beloved child.

The presence of my ex-housemate was probably the toast of the day for me. I guess with the commitment of work and families, we have not been able to be in touch as we should have. Perhaps I only have myself to blame. I know I am lousy at keeping in touch, and without friends like this guy in this world I would probably be friendless. Conversations between us have been few and far in between for the last two years, and I suspect perhaps I've offended him and his wife somehow. Having him over today has made me to realise that friendships like this are well worth preserving. It would be a shame if such a good thing gets destroyed by a little misunderstanding or perception.

The other friend of mine is no other than the famous Sarini who used to be an avid blogger, who has now chosen to stay in the blogging wilderness. Rumors has it that she's still writing, but oh well, having her over at my place was good enough for me to play catch up with her. Her daughter Hana has grown up to be a beautiful girl and I felt so moved when I finally got to see Hana again. Heard so much about her from Sarini and I felt that she looked more beautiful than I had imagined. Uncle Izwan is very pleased to have you and your parents over.

Geee... it is close to 1 am already, and I can still feel words and ideas flowing out of my head like water running out of a tap. But I know I have to sleep soon nevertheless. I have so much to achieve at work this week, so many deadlines waiting to be met. What's worse than having to go to work on a Monday after a very long and tiring weekend with very little sleep on Sunday night, is having so much to achieve on that Monday after a very long and tiring weekend with very little sleep on Sunday night. I hope I won't regret this extra hour I've spent blogging instead of going to bed early tomorrow.

I already have a feeling that I will...

The Visit to The Dentist

I went to visit the dentist last Wednesday. It was no easy feat for me, considering the phobia that I have about meeting dentists. It was my first visit in 3 years, and the last visit was made more out of necessity rather than routine as I had a severe tooth ache that I couldn’t bear any longer and in pain and desperation I somehow got over the phobia temporarily and braced myself to see the doctor with the perpetual image of a drill in his hand. But the visit 3 years ago also taught me that my fear to visit the dentist could have had a serious consequence.


Now, open wide...

I had had the ache to my premolar tooth (one of the smaller gigi geraham... heck, I had to Google it up know what the particular tooth is called in English) since my university days and due to my perceived irrational fear to see the dentist, I had chosen to live with the pain rather than brave myself to get on the dentist’s chair. You see, my phobia for the dentist is not something which I was born with, or something that I had acquired from my visits to the dentist in my childhood days. Rather, my phobia started after a visit I made to the dentist when I was in the UK during my A-Level studying days. The same tooth (before the ache began) had cracked again, and the earlier filling in the tooth had come out leaving a big cavity. I decided to visit the dentist and get a new filling with no hesitation back then. But the way the dentist administered the filling back then left a long lasting effect on me that I still shiver whenever I recounted the story.

First of all, he injected some sort of anasthetic into my gum, supposedly so that I won’t feel any pain from the procedure. Fine, I thought. This is nothing new. The anasthetic later had the effect of temporarily paralysing half of my face for half a day that I didn’t look too much different from Quasimodo from Hunchback of Notre Dame. The worst part actually came when the tooth drilling started in earnest, and guess what, it was bloody painful! I tried not to show any agitation at first, trying to preserve my male masochism the best I can. But it came to a point when I felt like the drilling actually hit a NERVE in my gum that I reactively screamed in pain. I can’t recall what the dentist said or reacted to my agony at the time as I was too absorbed by the pain. To make matters worse, all this happened about 3 days before my A-Levels exams. It had a traumatic effect on me, and the whole episode was enough to give me a life long phobia of the dentist.


A case of bad anasthetic...

My phobia however almost had a serious consequence. The filling done by the dentist who scared me to life unfortunately came off after only 2 more years, and this time I was understandably too hesitant to do anything about it. I decided to leave the cavity uncapped, to the detriment of the tooth and gum. It was getting increasingly painful whenever I accidentaly chomped my food with that particular tooth. My gum in that particular area had bled frequently and it was beginning to excrete puss. My breath was getting foul by the day, and I then decided enough was enough. I gathered my courage and braced myself for a dental visit 3 years ago. My tooth managed to be saved, just barely. The dentist said it was almost too late when I finally decided to do something about it, and he thought at first that the tooth had to be extracted. He performed a root canal treatment on it, and I was left with a lesson that such fears, irrational or rational it may be, needs to be conquered if I were to avoid getting myself into such a situation again.

Which brought me to my first visit to the dentist in 3 years yesterday.

The visit this time was more due to routine however. I know the common advice for a regular dentist visit should be done once every 6 months, and believe me I have been psyching myself to do that all the time. But time and time again I would find a convenient excuse not to go. The visit this time was triggered by my wife who had a minor complaint about an ache to her premolar tooth as well. So we went...


"Argghh... doctor, that is not the right tooth!" One of the common fears for those suffering from dental phobia

Getting seated on the dentist’s chair never fails to get my heart racing. Good thing the dentist didn’t find anything wrong with my teeth to warrant any serious procedure, so I was just up for scaling. It had been a long while since I had scaling of my teeth anyway.

There was an interesting fact that I learnt from the visit. The dentist took a quick look at my teeth and asked if I was a smoker. The question took me by surprise because I do not smoke. She said my teeth were stained, which is usually brought about by smoking. She then asked if I drank tea. Yeah, of course. I used to be an addict to teh tarik. She said tea is also responsible in leaving stains on teeth, especially the cheap teas with hypermarket brands that you buy from Tescos or Giant, as it is filled with colourings. She adviced that it is advisable to gargle after taking tea to make sure that the stains does not stick and stay on your teeth. Hmm... I never knew that.

The scaling exercise felt forever. And I didn’t know it could be quite an agonising experience either. I have sensitive teeth you see, and I would even cringe in discomfort when gargling cold water because of it. But it was all worth it in the end. After what seem like forever, my teeth had lost all its stains and my mouth felt so clean. And suddenly braving myself for this visit seem all worth it.


My blindingly shiny teeth afterwards...

Will I see the dentist again in 6 months? Hmmm... somehow the prospect doesn't seem so scary anymore.

Morning Babble

My company will hold its Raya Open House for the staffs today at one of the hotels in KL, and everyone's asked to turn up with their spankiest outfit. The Open House is scheduled to take place in the afternoon after the Friday prayers but I believe given the excitement and huha that has come with its anticipation, not much can be established in the office in the morning. As you can imagine, the women have started congregating amongst them comparing their latest fashionable baju kurung/kebaya and accessories that they (perhaps quietly) wish will be the envy of the other women and attraction of the men. Ntah le.. I do find this behaviour rather funny and so woman-like. It's like "see, see, look at what I'm wearing", or "hopefully this is good enough to land me the best dressed female prize". Haiyaa... the things that women crave for just baffles me.

Anyway, on the office front I've almost come to terms with the situation here. The trick is to keep a stone face and just keep moving on, regardless if the deadline has passed or not. I am not saying deadlines are not important, coz if I do think that I might as well work for AirAsia and not this company I'm working in now. But I'm not going to kill myself stretching myself any thinner as I already have now because it's crazy. I just have to keep marching on and hope that my sanity will still preserve at the end of it all. As it is, the stress that I'm experiencing has resulted in some behaviours of mine that resembles a female suffering from PMS.

Yeah, I get annoyed over the simplest things these days. Things like the women in the office busying themselves over petty stuffs like their baju raya. Or the boss talking nonsense about the company's Corporate Agenda in the department meeting yesterday. Ntah le.. in a way I don't mind feeling this way because it is a sign that I'm always on my toes, thus my nerves are more easily touched than usual. I've just been clenching my teeth and say it's ok and it's not their fault. And to help me calm myself, I've been playing lounge music on my PC, although I've just found out that it has made my colleague sitting next to me sleepy. Bet she's annoyed with me too now...

There's nothing like sharing your annoyance with the people around you. Hehe...

If

I love this poem by Rudyard Kipling. It is a good poem to lift the spirits when you're down in the dumps and self doubts begin to creep in. Something classy to recite when you want to reassure someone who needs upliftings words. A good reminder for one not to lose his/her head in the hardest adversity, or even when in the grandest of triumphs. It is a poem that tells the differences between a boy and a man.

Enjoy.

If...
by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!