The Kids Register For School

We finally managed to register the girls for kindergarten last Tuesday after having delayed it for months. The school term had started as early as January, but then since Hannah was due to travel with her parents to Germany in February, we had planned to put it off until March. But work came like tornadoes after that and we never got around to doing it. After much nagging from my mum, we finally got around to set an appointment with the school principal to register the girls. And thank goodness there were still places..

Hannah was buzzing with excitement before we left home for the school that morning, making sure she was wearing / carrying what was appropriate. "Abah, i cannot wear pampers (diapers) to school because otherwise my friends will laugh at me". Talk about peer pressure at such a young age! She then went on talking about what you should and shouldn't be doing at school, telling Insyirah the same. Being a few months younger, Insyirah's reaction to the idea still had a feeling of nonchalance and she was mostly playing on the excitement exhibited by Hannah.

As we got to the school, the sight of other kids in their uniform running about and doing their class activities proved too much to the girls: they asked to don their new pair of uniform as well and even took the chance to join in the classroom session for a bit. Had she be given the choice, Hannah would have wanted to stay on in class for the rest of the day. Insyirah on the other hand had already asked to go home (!), obviously not used to the idea of missing her usual morning routine just yet. Their official first day at school would start in the first week of May. Hannah would just have to be patient till then while wifey and i would have a task in our hands to get Insyirah mentally and physically ready for her new routine of going to school in the morning by then...

p/s: you would have noticed that incomplete version of the above posting was posted a number of times over the last few days. I had attempted to post the posting above via mobile blogging (as has been the case with most of my postings of late) but there seem to have been a bug with the mobile blogging feature. I am still clueless as to the cause of the bug, and the above was finally posted via my laptop.

Talk about an anticlimactic experience...

Arsenal's Kids Fell Short In A Game Of Men

Arsenal were largely disappointing in the quarter final FA Cup game against Chelsea. The players were not just off form on the day, but they were simply poor.

Diaby would take most of the brunt of my complain. I would just stop short of saying he was the reason we lost the game. Posession in the centre of midfield were lost too cheaply by him in defense and while attacking. He was dribbling the ball in places where a pass would have been a better option for both defense and attack. A surprise he stayed on the field till the end.

Fabianski was a bundle of nerves that even a lion in the safari in Africa could have smelt it. His decisions were suspect throughout the game that i had feared we could have lost by more than a goal had Chelsea's strikers had been more accurate. That attempt to save the second goal by Drogba was a shocker. What was he thinking committing himself to Drogba's run with the goal gaping so wide and far behind him?

And why did Arshavin and Nasri only came on so late in the game? What is Wenger saving Arshavin for? He didn't have any game to play last midweek anyway and should have been fit to run Chelsea's defend ragged.

It was just a poor Arsenal side today. To be honest, i didn't mind had the gsme dragged to penalty when the score was still locked at 1-1 as i felt we were nowhere near to scoring again up to that point. They need to grow up some more and be temperamentally ready for big games of such importance.

Hope they've learnt enough from this game to do better in the semis of the Champions League against Man U. They'd better do to avoid this year becoming another failure of trophyless season.

It Was The Worst Of Times...

My life had been going at a frantic place sometime between January and March this year. And as you may suspect, as sad as it sounds, it was all due to office work commitments. It was so bad that I had to stay up as late as after midnight and get up as early as before fajr to make sure I sticked to deadlines. My mind was constantly running financial numbers, analysis that i was even doing them in my sleep. In one instant, i remember falling asleep while working on this one assignment. But my mind had in fact continued thinking and analysing that the moment i figured the answer out in my sleep, i immediately jumped out of bed and continued where i had left off. I was running on adrenaline as much as abundant supplies of high sugar and fatty foods, traditionally known to provide instant boost of energy and release of serotonin to make me last the pace. Yup, ladies and gentlemen, these last 3 months of stress had made pig out like crazy. The maddening place only began to subside recently and i have suddenly found myself in a crisis of motivation all of a sudden. Yup, i too suspect that i'm going through a phase of burnout.

That maddening phase i went through had given me both physical and mental anguish. It sort of made me ask some searching questions about myself: Is this the life i want? Am i really up to the challenge? Am i good enough to even be here? Have i let my superiors and team mates down? How do i really measure against those other young and high flying executives? Will i ever amount to anything one day, both as a person and an employee of this company? What would my family think of me? Those feelings are probably compounded by the fact that some of my peers have already taken the next step in their career progression and gone on to become managers and higher. And to rub salt to the wound, a friend of mine recently got promoted as a direct superior of mine. Really, the way events have developed these last couple of months, i could probably be forgiven for falling into the path of depression once again.

I feel like i've been slowing down of late since those crazy moments. No, work has not significantly reduced since, but i have suddenly developed a couldn't care less attitude. Maybe i'm tired, maybe i've just become deluded. My judgements have been questionable at best, and baffling at its worst. I couldn't even do as simple a task as ordering refreshments for a meeting without mucking up. For a meeting last week, I ordered refreshments for 7 for a 10 people meeting. I couldn't even make simple decisions. And worryingly, i didn't even seem to care. I was already looking forward to the next weekend the moment the week begins. I just abhorred being in the office.

Of course i think my bosses have begun to look worried and become uneasy. My direct bosses have been nothing but supportive, fighting for my case to the ground during my last performance review. I can only hope that i've justified their faith and assessment of me. Sometimes i feel too small for the job, and their trust in me. At worst, i've felt like quitting on the spot rather than face another day of being lost and hampering my self esteem further. It's hard having to continuously meet people's expectation of you when the task feels gargantuan and stretching you all the time...

At the moment, it does seem like there's a glimmer of light at the end of this madness. Honestly, i feel like someone who's just been revived from a KO punch, or maybe like someone who's just recently recovered his sanity. I can feel, think and reason again, albeit slowly, rationalising events that have taken place and their consequences. After going through what i've been through, it has made me to realise how thin the line is between sanity and insanity. I believe i've threaded the line, although how far to the other side i can't be quite certain.

Let's just hope that i will remain on this right side of that line for a lot longer...